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  • This text is the story of my life. Mario Kart is serious business.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:25pm
  • I once played CoD with a HOT girl and she kicked my ass then we had sex.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 3, 09 at 11:18pm
  • Why can't I meet all the girls here who would marry this man? I AM this man!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 12:21pm
  • Ha! Love to all the fellow female gamers out there that would never need to have a man LET her win! We ROCK!! ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 2:56pm
  • I'm laughing at all these young girls who can't find a guy who opens doors for them. They're all, "OMG!! I wish I could find a guy like that!!" Truth is, there are tons of guys like that. But what you all REALLY want is guys to treat you like shit. As soon as a guy pulls a chair out for you, it's "OMG!! He's too fucking NICE!!" BTW, Mario Kart score is 8590!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 12:41pm
    • agreed. they only go for the stupid jocks that fuck up their life in the ending

      Submitted by kitty_kat on Sep 25, 12 at 8:27pm
  • since sms messages are limited to 160 characters... I call bullshit... actually most of this website is bullshit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:03pm
  • Whoever you are, do me. A gentleman and Mario kart? I love you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 27, 09 at 4:27am
  • naw fuck Luigi, its all about Yoshi.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:03pm
  • I'd be pissed if he let me win.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 7:40pm
  • shiiiiiit. i'll let you win at any game if you're treating me that good all the time.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:27pm
  • if you DARE let me beat you in mario kart, we are done. if you even THINK about letting me beat you in mario kart, we are done. my man's got a struggle ahead of him because i dominate at mario kart. =]

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:25pm
  • Wow. Please tell that to my boyfriend.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 19, 09 at 2:41pm
  • Ik this guy who got his ass handed to him in mc by his gf and he started crying

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 30, 09 at 3:37pm
  • Who are you? I want to marry you!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 22, 09 at 11:37pm
  • oh my god i so know who this is

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 6:00pm
  • i think im in love with this person.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:23pm
  • this is the perfect guy for me.. except im a mario kart champion.. it wouldn't work out.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:07pm
  • I shall ignore all above posts as my dirty lymrics are lacking. I don't need a man to be chivalrous when playing mario kart. I would kick his ass legitmately and not feel bad about it afterwards.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:19pm
  • I don't know who wrote this...but I think you are my soul mate!!! :) Just sayin.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 21, 09 at 1:06am
  • i could kick this dudes ass! as long as it was n64 mario kart

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 12:10am
  • ehhh. smash is when i mean business

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 3:58am
  • My wife wishes she could beat me at Mario Kart

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:03pm
  • i love mc, toad is awesome :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 25, 09 at 1:01am
  • you sir are me in maryland!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 5:59pm
  • "female+ Driving=NO SURVIVORS video games not exluded." Excuse me, but I actually kick ass at Mario Kart.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 5:05am
  • cool out with your toadstool out

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:17pm
  • i want to date you. whoever you are. awesome. just be forewarned that my ex boyfriend and i fought over mario kart & dr. mario on a daily basis.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 9:33pm
  • I once watched a girl play Mario Kart in the middle of a fight between 2 Jews and a dickhead.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 10:06pm
  • this is the definition of my boyfriend right here haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 9:53pm
  • 4:28, I know this is off topic but I have the LG enV (Verizon is my carrier), so my phone isn't the MOST current but it's not ancient by any means, and it won't let me do that!!! =( My friends with other providers can send me multiple "pages" and their phones just split it up automatically. I basically have to send the one text of 160 characters, then continue the msg in another one by hand. Pisses me off so much and I don't know how to fix it. Sorry, my rant is done lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 6:00pm
  • MARIO CART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 9:42pm
  • i agree, i'd marry him.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:35pm
  • This is how I attempt to craft every text message I send. So brilliant. He got laid.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:56pm
  • I fucked peach, gave toad a roundareach and then shiteris

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:14pm
  • this is F'in awesome

    Submitted by LUIGI999 on Jun 11, 10 at 2:40am
  • One does not simply LET znother beat you in Mario Kart

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 5, 10 at 10:37pm
  • Who are you? Where are you? and How old are you? I am in love with you and you can always win at Mario Cart!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 21, 09 at 10:42pm
  • 10:25 is a feminist and thinks that she's better than men

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 2:16pm
  • Actually, 3:35, farting video games sounds very cost effective. I mean, if you fart them out, doesn't that mean you don't have to pay for them?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:06pm
  • Don't worry, she'll probably smoke you anyway

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 1, 10 at 2:59am
  • ROCK ON!!!!! My feelings exactly

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 15, 09 at 1:38pm
  • Fuckinggg loserrr

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 1, 10 at 10:14pm
  • OP, where I can I meet you? I'll bring the rings.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:53pm
  • I'm a girl, and I fucking agree with dude here.

    Submitted by BayBelle88 on Jul 25, 10 at 4:35pm
  • @12:41 yea, that is usually true that young girls want the assholes, but we eventually grow out of it. nice score.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 1:55pm
  • My girl beat me at mario kart last week. FUCK YOU BLUE SHELL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 7:53pm
  • Woooow. Second to all the girls saying that they'd marry this guy. Gentleman Mario Kart lover=greatness!

    Submitted by lovelu2 on Jun 15, 11 at 5:44am
  • 2:16 A real feminist believes in equality. STFU.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 12:45am
  • this text explains my existence

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 2, 09 at 11:55pm
  • sometimes when i drive high i feel like i am playing mario cart. i will pwn anyone at that shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 11:12am
  • best TFLN ever, ever

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 5:20pm
  • Who are you? Where are you? and How old are you? I am in love with you and you can always win at Mario Cart!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 21, 09 at 10:49pm
  • Who are you? Where are you? and How old are you? I am in love with you and you can always win at Mario Cart!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 21, 09 at 10:42pm
  • This is from Tosh.0 douche bag. Way to be original.

    Submitted by kclapkat on Feb 22, 12 at 1:42am
  • i'm a virgin, but if a guy told me that i would bang him on the spot. then i would beat him at mario kart.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 11:29pm
  • Do not let me win. I can and will win because I have the ability, but letting me win is grounds for ending a relationship. The only time that can be broken is during strip games and you want to keep things even. I've thrown a few soul calibur matches just so i wouldn't be fully clothed and my boy all naked. That can be fun too though.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 10:25pm
  • Wow. This guy = keeper.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 10:28pm
  • I know I am in love with this person @3:23

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 7:33pm
  • yea... lets get married... except get use to crying cause i will dominate you in mario kart... its just how it is.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 23, 09 at 1:28pm
  • This is a real man. Absolutely. Cheers to you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:12pm
  • Well played, sir. Well played.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 8:52am
  • yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh MARO CAWT

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:17pm
  • I would be insulted of you did things any other way

    Submitted by BermudaGirl on Aug 5, 10 at 7:58pm
  • 4:11- you can with at&t, too.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 8:24pm
  • hi mr texter boy, let's fuck. i'm very turned on by your text message and would like you in my vag/mouth. thanks in advance.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 6:31am
  • you do not fuck around with mario kart.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:58pm
  • 4:03 - i know with verizon, messages to other verizon users aren't limited to 160 messages, you can go up to 7 "pages" of text

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:11pm
  • I know this text this was my friend.

    Submitted by heypopeitsjohnny on Apr 12, 10 at 3:46pm
  • You can't fuck around with that shit!! It's awesome game!!!! -kimma law

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 2, 09 at 3:29am
  • 6:00 (#1) I have the same phone/carrier as you and I don't have that problem. My phone splits the messages into pages.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 6:31pm
  • I need to meet someone like you...I suck at MarioKart and I love gentlemen :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 6:41pm
  • i think this is the man i want to marry.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:30pm
  • never i always win

    Submitted by nerdgirl88 on Nov 24, 11 at 3:10am
  • I'm just saying, a guy wouldn't have to let me win ;) I would kick anyone's ass at Mario Kart.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 19, 10 at 2:52am
  • Fucking a, I love you man ^-^

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 8:23pm
  • its jam out with your clam out

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:23pm
  • aww, my dream man

    Submitted by kitty_kat on Sep 25, 12 at 8:19pm
  • Never have truer words been spoken

    Submitted by CarlozCesar on Sep 9, 10 at 12:12am
  • yea, this guy does sound perfect. =) where the hell have you been and can we make clones??

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 7:40am
  • Hahhaha noooooo meeeerrrrrccccyyyy!

    Submitted by spurtiic on Apr 23, 10 at 10:33am
  • Why won't it let me buy this shirt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 5, 10 at 5:05pm
  • That game is one of the stupidest games ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 7:05pm
  • Fuck that. I'll dominate anyone in mario kart.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:23pm
  • Tell that bitch!

    Submitted by gfencer on Aug 16, 11 at 2:13am
  • Super Smash Bros is way better.

    Submitted by wingman693 on Apr 13, 11 at 11:23am
  • haha i would so beat you :)

    Submitted by lizbabyy_x3 on Mar 28, 10 at 1:31am
  • Lol. I totally did this to a boyfriend. We were playing after fooling around, and I lost the first time, but as soon as I ditched the WII mote for the gamecube one, I kicked his butt. 3 times in a row.... he was not happy with me

    Submitted by couchpotato on Feb 8, 10 at 10:33pm
  • I will marry you and have your children.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 10:34pm
  • Who ever this person was, I fucking love him.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 2:03am
  • I've been with girls who asked me to let them win... not cool... It takes all the fun out of the game!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:42pm
  • that has to be Johnny from Washington College, no doubt in my mind he would say that!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 09 at 1:53pm
  • 4:03 yeah just to reiterate... youre a fucking douche

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 1:38pm
  • please, for the love of god, marry me immediately.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 10:57pm
  • I want to have this guy's babies. hell yeah, 443...represent!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 11:33pm
  • sounds like my soulmate. I own a super nintendo for a reason. I need to meet this guy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 1:28am
  • My girlfriend rapes me at Mario cart... I feel so ashamed!

    Submitted by Anonymous007 on Sep 11, 11 at 10:37pm
  • My girlfriend usually fucks me up in Mario kart she's good. But not as good when she's going down in me while I'm playing. Ha

    Submitted by sntorres on Mar 5, 11 at 1:41am
  • Love. Love. Love.

    Submitted by tequillablonde on Jul 23, 10 at 1:45pm
  • Whoever's text that was.. I will BEAT you!!!! I challenge you to a race.. Mario Kart 64 or bust

    Submitted by Swag on Jan 23, 10 at 12:55am
  • If a girl loses intentionally, she'd better be ready to fake more than lack of gaming prowess.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 3:50pm
  • Hahaha this is my boyfriend EXACTLY

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:44pm
  • Fuckin epic!

    Submitted by TheWrightGuy on Aug 13, 11 at 12:38pm
  • Mario Kart is my game okay. Seriously its the only game I can kick anybody's ass at. So yeah bring it. LOL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 2, 09 at 1:32am
  • My mother fucking nigga

    Submitted by chris102093 on Jun 7, 11 at 3:19pm
  • I'm playin Mario kart wii as I read this whooping ass and I completely agree wit u 100%. I'm too good to just purposely lose. It would be commutingtreason to myself

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 5, 10 at 1:59am
  • Conversely, it's okay for a girl to lose on purpose right? stroke it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 3:48pm
  • exactly how i feel awesome.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 5:20pm
  • Is terrible that I'm one of those guys, and i cant find a girl that doesn't want an asshole to save my life. To all of you guys who treat women bad..... Fuck. You. You're ruining it for us good guys and you need to be punched in the face.

    Submitted by mancusoproject on Jul 2, 10 at 3:37am
  • I love chivalrous guys!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 9:30am
  • awesome, bravo. you are my hero bro

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 19, 09 at 3:07pm
  • Mario Kart huh.. Bring it!! Lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 1, 09 at 11:19pm
  • hell yes. i am not a moody person, but beat me in mario kart and i will be fucking bitter. i'm sorry.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 18, 09 at 2:15am
  • female+ Driving=NO SURVIVORS video games not exluded.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 3:10am
  • where can i find this man? and he wouldn't have to let me win, i'd kick his ass!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 8, 09 at 10:55pm
  • Let's get married. :]

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 12:55am
  • 3:19 for the win my superhero!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:23pm
  • I agree. My girlfriend I pretty competitive at Mario Kart though. so it's all good!!!

    Submitted by iTron92 on May 20, 11 at 4:58am
  • omg it's my boyfriend.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 19, 10 at 3:10am
  • Mario kart u dnt mess around with sumtin so serious. kick her ass

    Submitted by admjwt on Jun 2, 10 at 8:03pm
  • Kart is serious buisness. Go MD!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 2:04am
  • ...awesome text, this guy should post his number for you all

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 24, 09 at 3:13am
  • This ftw. Gotta love those cocky gamer boys... as long as they can walk the walk as much as they talk the talk ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 5:37pm
  • why don't women understand this?? it's a fairly simple concept...

    Submitted by thatoneguy5319 on Oct 11, 10 at 1:47pm
  • Online gaming let's get screen names and play

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 7:36pm
  • just remember to lay the banana down

    Submitted by nateroy on Apr 26, 11 at 6:17am
  • For sure, don't fuck with Mario Kart

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:14pm
  • i rock pussy like a rok mario cart

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 5:26pm
  • as long as it's super nintendo, i would hand your ass to you in mario kart

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 9:09pm
  • Change Mario cart to any video game

    Submitted by DeathAwait5U on Dec 6, 12 at 9:35am
  • Maryland represent. :)

    Submitted by jawsshark on Jun 29, 10 at 9:33pm
  • Hell Yeah! Mario Kart is the reason God let Japanese people invent Nintendo

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 10:17pm
  • 6:00 #1 here. 6:31, i try to do that, and when i send a msg longer than 160 characters to a non-verizon phone, i get a text from a crazy long number saying msgs over the limit are sent to non-verizon customers with only the 1st 160 characters....... =(

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 6:38pm
  • IN SOVIET RUSSIA MARIO KART BEATS YOU!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 24, 10 at 3:47am
  • You fart video games at breakfast? That sucks.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:35pm
  • 12:21 aww! lol looks like you need to find a girl on live =)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 5:01pm
  • Hahahahahaahahahhh yup I definitely sent that text lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by shifterkart87 on Oct 7, 10 at 3:31am
  • I will beat you at Mario kart. I've made many boys cry because they've lost to a girl!

    Submitted by livelaughliove on Nov 11, 12 at 5:15am
  • Where are you... Marry me?

    Submitted by taybay46 on Oct 8, 11 at 10:59am
  • Dork,

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 1:23am
  • Story of my life

    Submitted by callmeerink on Apr 16, 12 at 1:04pm
  • This is what people like me have wanted to say since the beginning of Atari. Thank you, sir, for making it known.

    Submitted by HappyReaper on Dec 9, 11 at 11:01pm
  • ehh not as funny.

    Submitted by rico69suave on Sep 5, 11 at 10:13pm
  • umm... date me? (though I am pretty awesome at Mario Kart and would probably take you down). lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 3:23pm
  • I challenge any female.gamers to any game that I would like and if you beat me ill marry you :)

    Submitted by Niceguy on Jan 15, 12 at 3:42am
  • I couldnt give up cod..., EVR

    Submitted by 3lR3y on Aug 25, 11 at 10:57pm
  • HERO. That's all there is to it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 10, 10 at 5:23pm
  • literally the perfect man, i think im love call me for sure

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 5:13pm
  • I'll say I'm going kick anyones ass in boxing

    Submitted by spaulding5 on Apr 21, 10 at 8:05pm
  • That's legit bro. Haha hella sic

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 7:02pm
  • Just follow the trail of banana peels in fed hill...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 29, 09 at 12:38pm
  • Funny day when she does beat you and your giving it all you got

    Submitted by Sofiejer on Oct 11, 10 at 5:48pm
  • This guy sounds perfect for me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 12:56am
  • fuck yeah, no mercy on mario cart!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 21, 09 at 12:16am
  • Lol I would so kick your ass at mario kart

    Submitted by Dawnalisa526 on Aug 25, 12 at 10:00pm
  • I can definitely compromise.

    Submitted by maddywoo on Mar 9, 11 at 11:12am
  • Sounds like a Barney Stinson line.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 11:47am
  • Omg- you might be the man of my dreams. :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:49pm
  • I'm the same way

    Submitted by manno22830 on Feb 14, 12 at 7:12am
  • SMS may be limited to 160 characters but with my phone you can keep typing forever and it will automatically break down the text into seperate texts, and you can go back to it in the sent folder and it will show up as one text. Not entirely bullshit, my friend.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 10, 09 at 7:42pm
  • The line must be drawn...it is the only way

    Submitted by S_P_Q_R on Oct 25, 10 at 6:21pm
  • this sounds way too much like my boyfriend

    Submitted by vodkaluvver on Jul 7, 12 at 11:31pm
  • Challenge her to a game of Mario Cart and then fuck her throat, she can't win while gagging on cock.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 3:25pm
    • im not sure whether to thumbs up that or thumbs down it

      Submitted by waffles on Jan 15, 10 at 10:17pm
  • Marry me?

    Submitted by westgmary on Jul 2, 10 at 5:02pm
  • I'm in love.

    Submitted by deedsie_fool on Apr 5, 10 at 1:20am
  • this is exactly like my boyfriend hahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 8:08pm
  • challenge accepted my friend

    Submitted by SammieBowBammie on Apr 5, 12 at 10:42pm
  • are we the same person? seriously you don't fuck around when it comes to mario kart/beerio kart

    Submitted by thomasfk on Jan 25, 10 at 4:29pm
  • Tru dat. Mario = win!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 10:34pm
  • 4:03 you're a Dumbass. i don't understand what ancient phone you're apparently using, but phone's tend to let you type as much as you want and it just sends multiple pages. Fucking idiot.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 4:28pm
  • I wish my man was exactly like you.

    Submitted by NSeman on May 31, 11 at 8:03pm
  • i would marry you. but id still kick your ass at mario kart..

    Submitted by maddawgice on May 7, 11 at 4:44pm
  • Shocking how I have actually sent this text before lmao..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 14, 11 at 6:27pm
  • That is 100% not a word of lie my boyfriend. I just want to win ONCE! Hahaha

    Submitted by harrypotter36 on May 21, 12 at 9:14pm
  • DEWD, this guys is AMAZING!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 9:20pm
  • Lol I think me n this guy were separated at birth lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 28, 09 at 3:14am