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  • 91 70
    Submitted by outdrinksyou on May 1, 11 at 11:23am

    my vag plays that same trick on me with the exbf 

  • 68 69
    Submitted by emcmullen20 on May 1, 11 at 9:36pm

    Dear Dark Wolf, \n Please consider investing in a sense of humor. \nSincerely, \nRochester

    • 52 60
      Submitted by DarkWolf on May 2, 11 at 6:59am

      Dear Child(ren), Please trade in your "sense of humor" for an up to date model. Your current one is defective: It is stuck on the "Grade School" setting.

      • 45 63
        Submitted by mcmullek190 on May 2, 11 at 11:44pm

        Bro, we're all on here to have fun and laugh about the crazy things that happen to us. I'm sorry if you'd rather play dungeons and dragons on the weekend, but find something to do other than come on a website, that you clearly know is meant for "grade school humor" and tell people they suck. \n\nThe text was hilarious. end of story.

        • 57 63
          Submitted by DarkWolf on May 3, 11 at 1:24am

          ahem .... There have been some truly amusing texts on this site: This is not one of them, end of story on THAT matter. As for what I do on weekends? I have a job, a family and can actually think with the brain I was given - it is not MY fault that you cannot say the same, kid.

  • 68 72
    Submitted by agroupofninjas on May 1, 11 at 2:22pm

    my penis doesnt text, it calls

    • 54 61
      Submitted by Aaruhn on May 2, 11 at 6:05pm

      Can I suggest google voice for these moments?

  • 61 59
    Submitted by 06460man on May 3, 11 at 11:18pm

    Sends flowers and limo full of champagne

  • 68 79
    Submitted by ojg15 on May 1, 11 at 1:36pm

    In Soviet Russia, texting is for humans only.

  • 60 67
    Submitted by cutiepie153 on May 2, 11 at 4:24am

    haha i have done that i just dont have a penis tho haha! since im a girl

  • 64 76
    Submitted by finswy on May 1, 11 at 11:23am

    Been there.

  • 59 68
    Submitted by gmarkel on May 1, 11 at 9:57pm

    Thank you emcmullen20 that made my night.

  • 58 71
    Submitted by 06460man on May 3, 11 at 11:06pm

    My penis goes beyond the call. It sends flowers

  • 64 96
    Submitted by StankyBritches52 on May 1, 11 at 2:45pm

    you must have a small, narrow, pen-head like penis to be able to text w/ it!\n\nMy fingers are almost to big to text accurately, I can't imagine trying to do it with my dingaling!

  • 47 78
    Submitted by naughtybody21 on May 2, 11 at 3:04am

    your penis can text me any time twozerosixseveneighteightsixsixsevennine

  • Submitted by DarkWolf on May 1, 11 at 1:39pm

    Ah yes, blame a body part utterly incapable of thought or of using a phone for your own actions. I hope you are only ever able to get a below minimum wage job that requires no responsibility or accountability.