Texts From Last Night · tacjfl's Favorites

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tacjfl's Favorites Texts:

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys

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(330): View more from Ohio

ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water

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(903): View more from Texas

And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

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(803): View more from South Carolina

My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Did you win?

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(647): View more from Ontario

He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.

(803): View more from South Carolina

Props for using the word nadir

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(714): View more from California

I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.

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