What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i permit you to call me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
someone threw a dead crab at me
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she was so not down for the gang bang
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
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