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  • Who gives a shit about Jesus and religion? It's all bull shit.

    Submitted by xxdamnxx7861 on Apr 6, 10 at 3:10am
  • i'm so sick of hearing so many zombie comments. you think you're clever. we get it.

    Submitted by idgaf on Apr 5, 10 at 11:01pm
    • learn to take a joke dickhead\n\n(granted it's an old joke but still)

      Submitted by le_spark on Apr 8, 10 at 11:01pm
  • 12:12 fail. It's Easter dumbshit hahaha

    Submitted by ItsB on Apr 6, 10 at 11:23am
  • Prove to me Jesus exists dumbasses

    Submitted by BrohammedAli on Apr 6, 10 at 1:34am
    • there is proof he does exist dumbass... there is , however, no proof he's the son of god\n\nnext time you want to be a dick think about what you're gonna say before you make yourself look like a ignorant fool\n\nplus it's just a f*cking joke...

      Submitted by NoOneSpecial12 on Apr 6, 10 at 6:20pm
  • He totally became a zombie. He rose from the dead. Thus, He is undead, and is thus a zombie. The King of Kings, Light of Lights. Zombie of Zombies.

    Submitted by Gleicheniaceae on Apr 5, 10 at 10:39pm
  • Undead doesn't have to be a zombie.he could be a vampire

    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 6, 10 at 12:38am
  • That would be funny, if you weren't the millionth person to crack it

    Submitted by _Ali_ on Apr 6, 10 at 5:12am
  • Is Keanu reeves a zombie?

    Submitted by a_cum_dumpster on Apr 6, 10 at 10:04pm
  • This would be from fuckin fresno unoriginal and no one likes you!

    Submitted by madu_paku on Apr 6, 10 at 12:17am
  • This text is late

    Submitted by wtfwjd on Apr 5, 10 at 10:24pm
  • Sure, it's an old joke but I love pissing christians off with it too.

    Submitted by etantao on Apr 6, 10 at 10:03am
  • If you're gonna make fun of Christians, at least come up with a new fuckin joke. TFLN isn't funny anymore.

    Submitted by Chalmers15 on Apr 6, 10 at 12:12am
  • Jesus isn't a zombie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 5, 10 at 10:56pm
  • Dude, get it right...Jesus was a vampire..."drink this, this is my blood"

    Submitted by SassyDiva on Apr 6, 10 at 7:26am
  • v Everyone below me is a great and terrific person :)

    Submitted by CrazyCyrax on Apr 9, 10 at 4:43pm
  • Rep the central valley right!

    Submitted by culebra16 on Apr 5, 10 at 11:47pm
  • Hey 12:38, he sheds blood , not drinks it.

    Submitted by menda on Apr 7, 10 at 11:33pm
  • Ali, I agree(: there is no proof of him. No physical proof . There is so many "sons of gods" in other countries and religions that existed way before. And had a "virgin mom", performed healing miracles, born on the 25th, and much much more. And I'm talking wayyy before. The Egyptian god Horus had the exact same life. So ya. Don't spend ur life worshipping a make believe miracle worker. If ur gonna have faith just put it in your life and become a better person.

    Submitted by jennyalena on Dec 2, 10 at 6:16am
  • Im christian and i think this joke is funny as hell. Why you ask? CUZ ITS A GOD DAMN JOKE!! i hate it when fellow christians get all up tight about people making jokes at christianity, but then turn around to joke about atheists, buddism, daoism, judaism, etc. A joke is a joke. Thats it. Im sorry fellow christians but someone needed to say it.

    Submitted by cl8n19 on Apr 7, 10 at 12:13am
    • I know, right? I feel like everybody wants to make us out to be soooo uptight about everything, but I love a good Christian joke as much as the next girl. I literally call Easter "Zombie Jesus Day" and Christmas "Baby Jesus Day". We're not all boring people with no sense of humor...

      Submitted by one800evilgirl on Dec 13, 10 at 12:08am
  • Screw you guys haha, I thought it was damn funny.

    Submitted by Allygator on Apr 6, 10 at 1:22am
  • jesus is a zpmbie shit is lamee

    Submitted by nikkibev on Apr 5, 10 at 11:04pm
  • Im pretty sure my brother wrote this.

    Submitted by TigraGoRawr on Apr 5, 10 at 11:42pm
  • I want to complain about how overused this joke is, but it's at least a nice change from chronicling the sad lives of whores, frat douchebags, and drug addicts. Bravo, I suppose.

    Submitted by emetophobia777 on Apr 6, 10 at 1:53am
  • Ali, historical records, and the fact that 90% of the modern world, including Jews and Arabs, already know, so stfu and gtfo and go do crack you hippie pussy

    Submitted by darthvader20 on Apr 6, 10 at 11:03pm
  • i am pretty sure this isnt that funny

    Submitted by canonymous on Apr 6, 10 at 4:07am
  • old joke but oh so funny

    Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Apr 6, 10 at 7:22pm
  • So we're all zombies, cuz I'm technically "undead"

    Submitted by Chalmers15 on Apr 5, 10 at 11:56pm
  • second. Jesus is not a zombie. duh

    Submitted by gigisportgirl on Apr 5, 10 at 10:28pm