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  • Submitted by Gleicheniaceae on Apr 5, 10 at 10:39pm

    He totally became a zombie. He rose from the dead. Thus, He is undead, and is thus a zombie. The King of Kings, Light of Lights. Zombie of Zombies.

  • 93 70
    Submitted by xxdamnxx7861 on Apr 6, 10 at 3:10am

    Who gives a shit about Jesus and religion? It's all bull shit.

    • 46 70
      Submitted by JnOaRdDrAoNj on Apr 7, 10 at 2:56pm

      The Christians do... STFU

  • 94 78
    Submitted by idgaf on Apr 5, 10 at 11:01pm

    i'm so sick of hearing so many zombie comments. you think you're clever. we get it.

    • 37 50
      Submitted by le_spark on Apr 8, 10 at 11:01pm

      learn to take a joke dickhead\n\n(granted it's an old joke but still)

  • 80 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 6, 10 at 12:38am

    Undead doesn't have to be a zombie.he could be a vampire

  • 82 71
    Submitted by BrohammedAli on Apr 6, 10 at 1:34am

    Prove to me Jesus exists dumbasses

    • 37 69
      Submitted by NoOneSpecial12 on Apr 6, 10 at 6:20pm

      there is proof he does exist dumbass... there is , however, no proof he's the son of god\n\nnext time you want to be a dick think about what you're gonna say before you make yourself look like a ignorant fool\n\nplus it's just a f*cking joke...

  • 56 36
    Submitted by ItsB on Apr 6, 10 at 11:23am

    12:12 fail. It's Easter dumbshit hahaha

  • 66 59
    Submitted by wtfwjd on Apr 5, 10 at 10:24pm

    This text is late

  • 60 49
    Submitted by culebra16 on Apr 5, 10 at 11:47pm

    Rep the central valley right!

  • 77 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 5, 10 at 10:56pm

    Jesus isn't a zombie

  • 55 46
    Submitted by a_cum_dumpster on Apr 6, 10 at 10:04pm

    Is Keanu reeves a zombie?

  • 60 56
    Submitted by _Ali_ on Apr 6, 10 at 5:12am

    That would be funny, if you weren't the millionth person to crack it

  • 54 44
    Submitted by madu_paku on Apr 6, 10 at 12:17am

    This would be from fuckin fresno unoriginal and no one likes you!

  • 64 64
    Submitted by Chalmers15 on Apr 6, 10 at 12:12am

    If you're gonna make fun of Christians, at least come up with a new fuckin joke. TFLN isn't funny anymore.

  • 56 56
    Submitted by cl8n19 on Apr 7, 10 at 12:13am

    Im christian and i think this joke is funny as hell. Why you ask? CUZ ITS A GOD DAMN JOKE!! i hate it when fellow christians get all up tight about people making jokes at christianity, but then turn around to joke about atheists, buddism, daoism, judaism, etc. A joke is a joke. Thats it. Im sorry fellow christians but someone needed to say it.

    • 41 34
      Submitted by one800evilgirl on Dec 13, 10 at 12:08am

      I know, right? I feel like everybody wants to make us out to be soooo uptight about everything, but I love a good Christian joke as much as the next girl. I literally call Easter "Zombie Jesus Day" and Christmas "Baby Jesus Day". We're not all boring people with no sense of humor...

  • 54 55
    Submitted by menda on Apr 7, 10 at 11:33pm

    Hey 12:38, he sheds blood , not drinks it.

  • 55 66
    Submitted by SassyDiva on Apr 6, 10 at 7:26am

    Dude, get it right...Jesus was a vampire..."drink this, this is my blood"

    • 32 50
      Submitted by drunkbitch706 on Apr 6, 10 at 4:13pm

      Then wouldn't that make everyone that drank his blood an vamp?

    • 38 36
      Submitted by NoOneSpecial12 on Apr 6, 10 at 7:45pm

      but he's also thought of as a zombie telling everyone to eat his flesh

  • 53 63
    Submitted by etantao on Apr 6, 10 at 10:03am

    Sure, it's an old joke but I love pissing christians off with it too.

  • 55 68
    Submitted by emetophobia777 on Apr 6, 10 at 1:53am

    I want to complain about how overused this joke is, but it's at least a nice change from chronicling the sad lives of whores, frat douchebags, and drug addicts. Bravo, I suppose.

  • 54 73
    Submitted by Allygator on Apr 6, 10 at 1:22am

    Screw you guys haha, I thought it was damn funny.

    • 44 55
      Submitted by NoOneSpecial12 on Apr 6, 10 at 6:23pm

      i concur. this is the first time i've actually seen this joke

  • 48 62
    Submitted by CrazyCyrax on Apr 9, 10 at 4:43pm

    v Everyone below me is a great and terrific person :)

  • 32 39
    Submitted by jennyalena on Dec 2, 10 at 6:16am

    Ali, I agree(: there is no proof of him. No physical proof . There is so many "sons of gods" in other countries and religions that existed way before. And had a "virgin mom", performed healing miracles, born on the 25th, and much much more. And I'm talking wayyy before. The Egyptian god Horus had the exact same life. So ya. Don't spend ur life worshipping a make believe miracle worker. If ur gonna have faith just put it in your life and become a better person.

  • 45 65
    Submitted by TigraGoRawr on Apr 5, 10 at 11:42pm

    Im pretty sure my brother wrote this.

  • 53 82
    Submitted by nikkibev on Apr 5, 10 at 11:04pm

    jesus is a zpmbie shit is lamee

  • 47 72
    Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Apr 6, 10 at 7:22pm

    old joke but oh so funny

  • 42 65
    Submitted by canonymous on Apr 6, 10 at 4:07am

    i am pretty sure this isnt that funny

  • 42 71
    Submitted by darthvader20 on Apr 6, 10 at 11:03pm

    Ali, historical records, and the fact that 90% of the modern world, including Jews and Arabs, already know, so stfu and gtfo and go do crack you hippie pussy

  • 48 91
    Submitted by gigisportgirl on Apr 5, 10 at 10:28pm

    second. Jesus is not a zombie. duh

  • 40 82
    Submitted by Chalmers15 on Apr 5, 10 at 11:56pm

    So we're all zombies, cuz I'm technically "undead"