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  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:13pm

    i'm a guy, and i'm gonna go ahead and say thats probably one of the best lines i've seen on this site

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:47pm

    i second that, 10:13. who the hell fucks without a condom these days anyway? idiots. my buddy has this "give some, take some" approach to STDs. no thanks. i'll keep my weiner clean and NOT pay child support.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:21am

    I don't see why you're all fighting over this. Regardless of whether of not she should have had a condom she didn't and she used a REALLY GREAT LINE to get her point across - that she wasn't having sex without it. Maybe she usually had them? Maybe they ran out? Who knows. But she was smart and safe and really really witty.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 4:16am

    Haahhhaaa I stopped carrying them the time the condom I had was too big for his tiny dick. Men, buy your own, it's really not that hard.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:34am

    1:25 while i'll give you that it is safer for the woman to carry them, its not her fucking job to buy the condoms. Girls pay, sometimes a lot of money, for birth control pills. guys can spend on the condoms. and while it is a good idea for a girl to carry condoms, the responsibility really doesn't lie on her.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:58am

    2:15/3:37: point is, grow up. 1:34: Agreed. and getting birth control often entails more than just the price (i.e. Time/$ spent having to meet w/ your doctor first and go through an exam, messed up side-effects of various birth-control methods, having to remember to take your damn pill every single day, etc.) The least men can do is keep a condom or two in their wallet.

    • Submitted by mukate08 on Jul 2, 10 at 2:22am

      condoms break more easily when kept in a wallet. pocket's a better choice.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 3:05pm

    for all the idiots saying pulling out works - I got pregnant that way...so um, NO it doesn't work!

    • Submitted by soontobemom on Jul 21, 10 at 5:01pm

      yea i also got pregnant that way even with taking birth controle EVERYDAY dont use pull out use a condom

      • Submitted by aphroditee69 on Sep 23, 10 at 4:36pm

        I got pregnant that way too! Lol definitely learnt my lesson. And I love my daughter :) she's definitely not an accident though. Best thing that's ever happened to me.

        • Submitted by kingdemp on Jan 31, 11 at 3:43am

          You three just fuck dudes that are too retarded to pull out at the right time

          • Submitted by tinka023 on May 29, 11 at 6:37pm

            sperm is in pre-ejaculate fluid, dumbass.

            • 93 88
              Submitted by Switch72nd on Mar 3, 12 at 3:02pm

              Sperm is in both pre-cum and cum, not just the pre-cum.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:25pm

    Wow. That's one of the most awesome lines! (Finding out like that, that the guy lied about not having condoms so he could go bare for his own satisfaction--would have been my cue for re-dressing!!!)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 8:33pm

    I am a single mother and I absolutely love this statement... and will definately use this line if the need ever arises.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:15am

    1:05: Because she is part of the act too... if she wants to fuck, she should make sure she has protection. Both parties should have one. there is only one person responsible for your health, that is you!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:14am

    this is so fucked up you arguing over it! it's guy + girl, not guy vs. girl if you aren't mature enough to see that, you probably shouldn't be fucking in the first place.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:36am

    @1:25 Not all chicks carry a purse, try again. Besides I've had the "just in case" condom then I got an "I'm allergic to latex" excuse.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:59am

    You're brilliant, and that douche doesn't deserve you :D

    • Submitted by Kin6x on Oct 20, 11 at 11:55pm

      Which is exactly why shes with him

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 9:23pm

    "Don't have random sex with strangers... condom dilemma solved." ...Are you serious? Are you really that fucking dumb? Just because you wear a condom with someone when you have sex with them doesn't mean that person is a stranger...it just means you're being smart. What if you're not on the pill?? And what about STD's?? Quit being stupid prude. And awesome response. I think I, like many ladies here, will be stealing that from you!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 2:28am

    BEST LINE EVER! you're definately my hero now!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 1:24pm

    that is the funniest thing i've ever heard

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:25pm

    Soooooooooo been in that situation. I'm gonna use your line next time.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:09am

    I am giving that line to my teenager to use!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:05am

    umm why is it the woman's job to carry around the condoms?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 3:33pm

    I'm a woman who's allergic to latex. Didn't find out until having sex with a guy wearing a condom. So glad I'm married now so don't have to worry about that issue. :-)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:20pm

    "Perfect, I'd love to trade STDs. Bring it on!"

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 28, 09 at 2:14pm

    I would only be worried if he thought he was ready to be a father!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:03am

    I think that's one of my favorite posts EVER! I'll have to remember that one!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 7:02pm

    Holy Shit. Best story ever, although I agree with most of these guys. At that point ditch him.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:10am

    this is marinated in win and i love it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 6:29pm

    nice line, but why would you fuck that jerk anyways? he obviously doesnt care about giving/transmitting STDs, pregnancy.....

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:37am

    2:15 is not ready to be a mom.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:43pm

    everyone saying pulling out is more effective than a condom are so fucking dumb. guys pre ejaculate, which there is a HIGH HIGH chance neither of you will feel so he pulls out after that. pre ejaculation has sperms.. so you still have the chance of getting pregnant. dumb asses. go to health class.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 10:50am

    lmao @ 2:37 and the op

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 6:21pm

    To the morons who say pulling out is effective: I got pregnant the ONLY time my boyfriend and I used the pull out method... never got pregnant from the hundreds of times we used condoms. Anyway.... hilarious line, OP.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:48am

    Nicely done. Just wait until the next guy gets excited and says he's ready to be a dad. No clever words available to get out of that one :\

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:33am

    Eh You both should have some on you... YOU CAN GO AGAIN!!! :D

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:13am

    That's a very good one xD

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 27, 09 at 11:41pm

    Yeah, 3:31, that may work for you, but not for most people. Pulling out is about as effective as saying, "Yeah, my sperm swim the wrong way. You won't get pregnant." Idiot. Other note--- AWESOME LINE. I've used it many times, and miraculously, the guy always finds one after that. :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 10:47am

    to everyone getting in heated debates over this & other texts: i'm pretty sure morals don't belong on this website. leave your preaching for church & just enjoy that some people are FUCKING HILARIOUS !!! love this one btw. you are my hero.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 10:09pm

    I hate actually being allergic to latex. No-one believes me any more.

    • Submitted by hellionist on Sep 22, 10 at 9:01pm

      *pets*\npolyurethane condoms. trojan supra. lambskin. keep them on-hand. i'm a chick and latex sensitive; although 'specialized' condoms are more expensive, completely worth it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 2:31pm

    May 28, 2009 9:38PM Pulling out doesnt always work... precum has some traces of seamen in it. Ps. - I always carry some condoms with me, but i'm still using that line sometime!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:12am

    i dont see any dudes carrying around a "just in case" pack of birth control pills kill yourself.

    • Submitted by laurajexo on Jan 28, 10 at 12:29am

      birth control doesn't work right away...dure

  • Submitted by GoldenMe on Jan 26, 10 at 1:01pm

    Hhahahahahaha, that's a good one, Yeah that magical forgotten condom huh?, that line was so full of epic win!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:10pm

    1:03AM and 11:54AM Child Support = 216 payments, and 10's of thousands of dollars. Do you really want to risk one of your swimmers getting out of the tube before you get out of the tunnel? Listen to "Dad." Wrap it up 100% of the time!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:45pm

    Wow, you are awesome!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 3:25am

    that would happen in the bay

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 1:05pm

    lmao im stealing that line for next time

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 11:46am

    and you STILL had sex with him? class...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 25, 09 at 8:32pm

    @10:04 (bottom) BC costs between 50-100 Dollars if you have INSURANCE. Without it, it's twice as much. You can buy a twelve pack of condoms for 5 bucks at Walgreens, the good kind that ensure to snag anything you don't want to get in. However, both parties regardless of Birth control or not should have at least one condom on them when they are looking to get laid. Although a witty line, I would have zipped up my pants the moment I caught the fool lying. No vajayjay for him. Ever.

    • Submitted by kingdemp on Jan 31, 11 at 3:48am

      or....you can go to Planned Parenthood and get birth control for free along with free condoms, so the $5 a guy has to spend for condoms ends up being more of an expense than a girl would have to spend.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:57pm

    haha thats hilarious, im so using that line

  • Submitted by bigbadj on Aug 11, 10 at 4:47pm

    Amazing

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 9:21pm

    You're my hero. Brillant.

  • Submitted by waterpoloplayerr on May 2, 10 at 2:47pm

    That would make me\nPull one out

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 8, 09 at 7:54pm

    I'm so using this!!'

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:39pm

    Clever!!! Nicely done.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 11:29am

    This is probably one of my favorites ever

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:37pm

    You're my hero, end of story.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:13am

    ATTA GIRL! That's incredible. I'm proud.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 10, 10 at 5:15pm

    smart men pull out, geniuses use condoms

  • Submitted by PercivalJenkins on Mar 22, 10 at 4:45pm

    Magically. Hahahaha.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 4:18am

    that's fucking priceless!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am

    You can get birth control pills free in the uk, but I carry a condom with me. I mean why not? It's not exactly a chore is it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 26, 09 at 3:50am

    Yeahhh!!! The bay baby!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 11:22pm

    are all of you really serious about pulling out being the solution to having no condom? gah, i can't even imagine how many stds are swarming down there...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:06pm

    What a douchebag. (And for all he knew, you could have had chlamydia!)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:07am

    DAMN you are my fucking hero

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 12:58pm

    LMAO 4:16 i've bought one box... It was the Magnums, someone told me they were good. How was I supposed to know that equaled huge. Anyway I'm so going to use this line, if I ever need to. lol

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 6:17pm

    Damn, now all the chicks are gonna use this line. Genius none the less. But that's why I fuck them in the ass.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:19am

    @ 2:15am- how old are you?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 10:50am

    ....your mouth can't get pregnant!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 1:39pm

    hahahaa, fan fucking tastic! fucking dudes....

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:10pm

    thats the best line ever! i love it

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:31am

    hahahaha wtf bay area men!?

  • Submitted by BambiBaby25 on Jan 16, 10 at 9:22pm

    Good girl. High five on that one haha

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:56pm

    I WANT YOU TO BE A MOM TOO

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 6, 09 at 2:49am

    You rule, hahahahahaha.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 1, 10 at 7:55pm

    Hahah roflmfao!!! Amazing!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 09 at 8:01pm

    Who the fuck keeps tlkin bout their teacher? Get a fuckin life!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 5:31pm

    I don't think anyone's bothered to mention that you can get STDs from anal as well. Sorry to break it to you guys but it's factual. And guys and girls who are allergic to latex, there's good news for you. Check over the counter, the pharmacist will point you to the latex free condoms.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 11:04am

    haha basically the same thing happened to me. I said thats ok I'm pro-choice... I'm not but he went and got a condom real faaast :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 20, 09 at 9:22pm

    This is the smartest idea ever! I am totally using this next time :P

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 10:01pm

    SO going to use that line!!! SO going to!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:00am

    Wow. Just ... just wow. I wish I could "good night" this 50 more times.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:03pm

    HAHAH, makes my life.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:01pm

    haha this is amazing

  • Submitted by laurajexo on Jan 28, 10 at 12:38am

    how about just don't have sex at all, well unless you're married.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 2:58am

    I tried that whole "pulling out" thing... I have a 4 month old daughter now. Pulling out = FAIL

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 11:49pm

    10:09.. awe hahahaha

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 4:36pm

    That is genius!!! Every girl should say that.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:51am

    5:53... You BETTER have that condom, because no one wants to get HIV from a slut like you.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 15, 10 at 11:56pm

    Hahahahaha lol funny

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 3:06pm

    Brilliant! Double, triple, BRILLIANT!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 4:28am

    Fuck yea!!!! Guys always try that one...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 5:19pm

    im pretty sure i know these people

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 9:09am

    Dear 12:38, your comment just made my day ahahahaa

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 21, 10 at 1:58am

    Best way to get one on

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 4:57pm

    Nice!! I like her, she's witty

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 6:09pm

    I think you are brilliant!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 9:52pm

    If I need to use that line, I will. =D Love it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 10:04am

    to people who cry about women buying condoms... Birth control pills are a lot cheaper if you actually fuck on them. Condoms are like 2$/piece. If you fuck daily, it's 60$ a month. Plus, I'm a woman and I take BC regardless because it makes my period hurt less. So stop with the shit. Besides, men pay for the shit before the sex sometimes. The sense of entitlement of whores these days makes me sigh.

  • Submitted by Serec on Apr 6, 10 at 7:05pm

    In soviet Russia, condom forget you!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 29, 10 at 2:43am

    Yay areaaaa. :) that's how us bitches get down. :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 7:39pm

    LMAO marin people arguing over condoms/birth control. get a life so using that line! but girl u deserve better

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am

    This is the best thing ever

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 11:36am

    Birth control cost A LOT more than condoms so if the guy can't afford to have them on stand-by, he should be using his hand to get off.

    • Submitted by kawaiichan09 on Jun 10, 10 at 3:49am

      You can get it for about $10 at Wal-mart. If you look at the yearly cost, though, that's about $120.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 10:46pm

    Hahahahah perfection!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 1:45pm

    condoms are overrated anyway and chicks love it raw

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:25am

    Might have to use that line sometime too.....

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 10, 10 at 9:38pm

    Genius! Smart girl.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:47am

    its her responsibility to carry a 'just in case' condom because its just sketchy if the guy has to pull out his 'just in case' plan B

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 28, 09 at 9:33pm

    hahaha! I wonder who this is cuz I live in the 510 lol

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 3:36am

    haha thats fucked up. i would have stuck it in anyway

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 5:09am

    HAHAHAHAH, that's clever!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:55am

    Im a dude and that is some funny stuff.......and 5:53 apparently your a little upset because nobody wants to have sex with you. Anyways...GREAT TEXT!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:32pm

    this is the best line i've ever heard... totally borrowing it next time

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 12:21am

    LMFAO!!! Nice.... I would have just pulled out. I HATE condoms!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 2:01am

    Well personally I carry the condoms b/c I can get the kind I like and KNOW they are good. Guys might not be so careful. I trust myself more anyways. That being said, Its NICE if a guy has some... but Im still using my own.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:39pm

    This made me laugh so freaking hard. And I'm so using this next time!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 6, 09 at 10:26am

    I just need to be the boring one and point out that you are very able to get pregnant when using "pulling out" as contraceptive... There´s something called precum..

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 2:13am

    2:09 you should probably watch your kids a little better and NOT encourage them to have sex.

  • Submitted by loverbutt on Apr 22, 10 at 1:50pm

    I'm toally using that next time.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:20am

    haha quick thinking!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 2:16am

    Don't have random sex with strangers... condom dilemma solved.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:02am

    That is the best tfln ever i can't stop laughing ha!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 2:49pm

    Oh that is a good line, all chicks should do that

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 2:16am

    Damn, that's amazing!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 4:05pm

    ive said that excuse to fuck her in the ass i guess im just lucky my ex-girlfriend isnt as smart as op

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:32pm

    Genius bloody brilliant.

  • Submitted by Scubalove73 on Jan 28, 11 at 4:17pm

    Absolutely brilliant! Your my new hero!

  • Submitted by thesplash_zone on Dec 3, 10 at 11:39am

    EPIC!!!

  • Submitted by Zathelia on Aug 7, 10 at 12:05pm

    Oh and forgot the fact, ur the one who knows what size ur cock is! We can't carry around one for every size douxhebags

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 2:26pm

    That is amazing. You go, girl!

  • Submitted by icebox2345 on Mar 13, 10 at 2:29pm

    hahahahahahaha!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 09 at 3:28am

    That is fanfuckingtastic!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 1, 09 at 5:38pm

    They do make silicone-based condoms. Perfect for those with latex allergies (real or imagined) and less likely to break. As someone with a real latex sensitivity, they were a lifesaver. :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 28, 09 at 8:02pm

    10:47 you are my fav.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 25, 10 at 3:08pm

    Haha that is hilarious!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 1, 09 at 12:10pm

    Awesome line.... Awesome Chick.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:20pm

    8:51 hahahha. this is first off an amazing text but this argument makes it better. i'm a girl, i keep a condom in my wallet.

  • Submitted by chitowngrl on Jul 4, 10 at 8:36am

    Awesome line

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 20, 09 at 12:19am

    i just pressed bad night so that it would be 900 :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 10:55am

    everybody should carry condoms. everybody.

  • Submitted by missamandaa89 on Mar 2, 10 at 6:24pm

    bahaha... i just might have to use that one! love it

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 1:53pm

    Pure. Effing. Genius.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:39am

    LMFAO @10:47 and 2:37

  • Submitted by matthewpaulengel on Apr 2, 10 at 2:02pm

    I'm a guy and that is funny.

  • Submitted by KELLIS on Mar 4, 10 at 6:26am

    LMFAO!!!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:46pm

    This is the best line ever!! I too will be using it! Hopefully you didn't call him again. He was lying through his teeth about not having one. What a selfish ass! In other words he didn't care about giving or getting stds or what you wanted. All he cared about was his selfish wants and the sensation he would get during the act.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:28am

    I'm so going to use this. I already have a kid so I'm sure they'd buy into me wanting another.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 8:59pm

    And I'm ready to b a dad

  • Submitted by skydiver83 on Aug 20, 10 at 10:50am

    Simply put. Hilarious. One of the best ones I have read. Well done.

  • Submitted by casszie on Feb 25, 10 at 12:27pm

    HAHA you go girl, i might use that one

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 14, 10 at 10:45am

    It was the condom fairy!! Thanks Dane Cook for showing us the light!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 8:27pm

    haha thats great ima use that one next time!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:48pm

    Joey

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 10:15pm

    Mm, I love a good bayarea skaank

  • Submitted by aubinntela on Mar 26, 10 at 12:05am

    Lmfao that rich!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 3:58am

    thats fuckin hilarious

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 5:12am

    LMAO! YESSS! Best line EVER

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:50pm

    guys are retarded you're clever! i'm gonna use that except it would kind of blow the big one if they really didn't have a condom, thought you were legitimately a psycho maury-bound baby mama wannabe, and you didn't get to have sex.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 3:32am

    Fucking brilliant

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 24, 10 at 1:27am

    fuck you I sure this class so much

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 3:33pm

    7/17 10:43pm true, it is pretty stupid, but at least pulling out reduces the chances more than NOT pulling out

  • Submitted by fat_squirrel on Mar 13, 10 at 8:07pm

    I'm guessing soviet Russia gave him the condom

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:19pm

    NICE!!!! If I ever need to, I'm TOTALLY using that! Go Girl!

  • Submitted by lilesai52 on Apr 11, 10 at 2:35pm

    HHajaja

  • Submitted by rwag94 on Apr 3, 10 at 5:42pm

    I live in the 510 area code. The Bay area is small enough, i honestly hope i know you. Because you deserve Kudos for this kind of tactic. hahaha

  • Submitted by Khutch636 on Mar 18, 10 at 10:21pm

    haha this is grrrreat!!! SOOOooOO true! .. this shit happens!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 4:45pm

    lol I'm ready to be a mom, why would you have sex without a rubber amyway? Ever hear of STD's? lol kids these days lol

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:04am

    i'm gonna have to start using that one...hahaha.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 30, 09 at 2:43pm

    Hahaha what a jerk!!!!! I love him thooo <3

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 30, 09 at 3:11pm

    OMG! I LOVE THE BAY! only in OUR city will shit like this happen, im a girl n that was the best line ever. one time i asked to look in a guys wallet, i found a GOLDEN wrapper, n then i was like we can use this, then he took off his pants, all that ran through my head was. "False advertisement!"

  • Submitted by thestevenator on Apr 6, 10 at 5:50pm

    Win. Nice scare tactic. :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 9:21pm

    that was good girl. He's a joke!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:08am

    creative and clever. love it. =)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 1:09am

    This is champion status right here.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:44pm

    I CAN'T STOP CALLING PEOPLE DICKS!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 16, 10 at 7:19pm

    Will be useing that one

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 2:29pm

    dayym girl. you legend (:

  • Submitted by anu on Jan 16, 10 at 6:00pm

    I love that line. I think it's better to provide your own protection though.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:19pm

    I am totally using that line!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 10:05am

    I always have condoms in my purse for those types of situations. :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:37am

    2:37- you're right bc i'm a guy haha and 2:19 how does my age affect this?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 17, 09 at 3:45am

    This is the best idea ever!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:46am

    just laughed at 2:37 haha

  • Submitted by t7d5 on Oct 2, 10 at 4:47pm

    Haha nice

  • Submitted by pichu180 on Jun 28, 10 at 6:42pm

    Anal here we come...

  • Submitted by Degu_Boy on May 14, 10 at 2:50am

    In Soviet Russia, condom forget you!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 4:32pm

    you are freaking awesome.

  • Submitted by karate1974 on May 20, 10 at 12:51am

    The best

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 7, 09 at 11:27pm

    The dildo had on a condom when I stuk it up my teachers butt

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 9:02pm

    I need to meet this chick

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 3:45pm

    HAHAHA that was great.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am

    birth control to stop the pregnancy if thats all the girl is concerned about. bring some condoms to stop stds. your purse is a whole lot easier to carry a condom than my wallet crushing and destroying the dam thing.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 13, 09 at 11:56pm

    Omg hahaha. Awesome.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:25am

    "Anonymous said... umm why is it the woman's job to carry around the condoms? May 29, 2009 1:05AM" Cause if she wants him to wrap it, she should be willing to buy and carry them. Plus its easier/safer for a women to carry them in her purse than a man to carry them in his pocket duh -_-

  • Submitted by bayboi on Mar 3, 10 at 1:04am

    Oooo shit this is about me...WTF??!?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:21am

    what smart woman doesn't carry condoms these days "just in case" anyways?

  • Submitted by tak on Apr 15, 10 at 10:48am

    Haha sounds like a true man

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 2:31pm

    Thats awesome every girl should use that line.

  • Submitted by Katalystic5135 on Jun 6, 10 at 2:55am

    I've never been more prouder to be from the 510, the bay area.

  • Submitted by nolan123 on Apr 23, 10 at 11:12am

    That's fuckin amazing! Haha

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:28pm

    You're my hero. I'm gonna have to remember that one....

  • Submitted by ChucklingMadcap on Jul 10, 10 at 10:02pm

    You are a brilliant, brilliant woman. I'll have to remember that one.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 4:32am

    HahHa reppin the bay area hahaha good job

  • Submitted by edward101 on Jul 15, 11 at 2:58am

    Yea um my ex pulled that with me not only did I leave here I checked my condom for holes placed by her

  • Submitted by bigben9933 on Mar 31, 10 at 9:42pm

    Amen to that

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 9:15pm

    lol love it!!!! the problem is some guys still wont care....they think with their penises n not the consequences

  • Submitted by HorrorQueen on Dec 29, 10 at 9:22am

    I told my boyfriend if he wanted to have sex without a condom, even with me on birth control, it was fine with me but he had to be prepared to tell my Dad we were expecting if the subject should arise later on.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 3:31am

    Ok so with the whole pulling out vs not conversation this is my perspective on it. I have been married for 3 yrs, we got pregnant with our son at 5 months (we were trying) we now have a two ur old son and have NEVER used a condom since, I have never been on birth control once in my life and have always used the pulling out method. Now I'm not trying to say that it works or doesn't but it's atleast worked for me.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:50pm

    hahaha that like made my night!! hahaha

  • Submitted by wichowski on Sep 12, 10 at 10:39pm

    Magicly....damn amazin how shit happens

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 19, 09 at 7:29am

    Hahahaha! So typical!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 3, 10 at 3:00am

    8======D

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 6:08am

    Yay area..I fuck wit you

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:28pm

    Carrying a condom in your wallet is a surefire way to have it bust... That said, both dudes and chicks should carry condoms. Don't be morons.

  • Submitted by lintlicker69 on Jul 6, 10 at 3:12pm

    haha this is hilarious... i am deff going to remember this one : ) nicceee

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:38pm

    "Pulling Out" Rivals Condoms, Study Says

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 17, 10 at 7:19pm

    I just tell them I'm fixed... It works nine pig of ten times! Not like I care... I'm moving back to Spain in a year anyways!!

  • Submitted by zukorox on Jan 1, 11 at 11:40pm

    So he's ready to be a dad???

  • Submitted by irishprincess416 on Mar 31, 10 at 7:41am

    Lol thats the best ever!

  • Submitted by McMaster420 on Jul 27, 11 at 4:37pm

    if u were trying to trick him into getting him to wear one, then well played. If not u shouldn't be reproducing ...ever

  • Submitted by Rednekinn on Jul 15, 10 at 4:40pm

    Love this! And he magically had one then. Go girl!!

  • Submitted by xxCarter952xx on May 11, 10 at 10:14pm

    thats rough. nice mental tactic tho. i applaud u.

  • Submitted by WEAZEL1201 on May 3, 10 at 9:05pm

    a better man would have called your bluff or put it in your butt

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:06am

    Haha that was very clever lol. I might use that one day. Nicely done.

  • Submitted by flapjax on Sep 14, 10 at 12:56am

    it would have been funny if the guy had aids and fucked her without a condom anyways

  • Submitted by d18rae on Jan 20, 11 at 7:09pm

    Yes girls should be responsible for condoms as well but come on guys need some responsibility especially since girls deal with birth control everyday. This comeback is definitely gonna be used by me :)

  • Submitted by kyledotcom on May 16, 10 at 10:07pm

    Yeah that's good.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:45am

    LOLZ you are lucky he didn't walk out on your ass

  • Submitted by tjthomas on May 9, 10 at 2:04am

    Imma guy and this happend to My Friend(girl

  • Submitted by caroline27597 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:38pm

    Great!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:53am

    you carry a 'just in case' condom coz you never know when you might be able to coax a guy into cheating on his wife/girlfriend :-P

  • Submitted by lexia0421 on Dec 28, 10 at 2:03am

    Awesome, love it.

  • Submitted by Zathelia on Aug 7, 10 at 12:03pm

    Definatly. Us girls pay good money for birth control pills that are not always effective the least a guy can do is god forbid buy the rubbers! I mean, u wanna get laid right?

  • Submitted by FistedSister on May 21, 10 at 2:10am

    Real or fake, that is one of the most clever impromptu lines that I have ever heard. I think that would take the wind out of most sails. As a realist, I hope that my daughter is clever enough to use that line if the situation ever arises.

  • Submitted by elvpaql on Aug 28, 10 at 3:20am

    510 = Berkeley, Oakland, East Bay, etc.

  • Submitted by awsome88 on Jan 2, 11 at 1:59pm

    That is what mostly happens when someone wants to knock a person up

  • Submitted by sandlotbabe on Mar 6, 11 at 10:19pm

    ..... Thanks for that note to self :)

  • Submitted by Shakejoint on Jun 28, 10 at 8:03pm

    My god, I am man, and this is still hilarious.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:15am

    1:34 boooo-fucking-hooo. both parties are responsible, ass. so what if the girl buys birth control pills? If she wants cock, she should have some condoms also. And that's the fact jack. Now go climb into the waaaaaahmbulance and get out of here.

  • Submitted by wherearewe on Apr 11, 11 at 1:31am

    Haha, I love this.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 31, 10 at 1:58am

    12:38? Leave

  • Submitted by Kitsune7767 on Jul 11, 10 at 4:00pm

    That's great!!!!

  • Submitted by sunshine33 on Jul 29, 10 at 9:44pm

    Allways

  • Submitted by badmitch on May 25, 11 at 6:17pm

    BadMitch never wears a rubber, www.badmitch.com

  • Submitted by Hey19 on Mar 23, 10 at 10:39pm

    that was fuckin a waste of time to read what ever that bitch said

    • Submitted by mjaymes on Oct 2, 10 at 3:57pm

      and thank you for wasting everyone else's time by submitting that reply

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 24, 09 at 11:06pm

    You are a genius. On behalf of all the single women in the US. I thank you.

  • 98 90
    Submitted by Chevy_Rox on Oct 28, 11 at 12:29am

    lmao I have banged so many women raw, that line never works on me

  • Submitted by sdpk on Nov 19, 10 at 11:09pm

    good girl

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 6:49pm

    ok what happens when they guy says meeee tooo!!! Then that look of stupidity arises!!! everyone says they'll use that line but i'm guy that'll say, it's cool cause i'm fixed!!! you gotta be smarter than the stupid girl you are screwing!!! 7024062492

    • Submitted by WTFmate on Jun 27, 10 at 7:18pm

      You must screw some extremely stupid girls then...

  • Submitted by aphroditee69 on Sep 23, 10 at 4:14pm

    This is hillarious!!

  • Submitted by kayjean on Feb 1, 11 at 2:03am

    Best line of all time. I will def be using it! Haha

  • Submitted by jaymeeee on Jan 28, 11 at 12:44am

    Haha I lyk tht line dhat shyt funni. Ima useee it

  • Submitted by Geemann0917 on Jan 5, 11 at 8:32pm

    Weird how crap like that happens

  • 96 92
    Submitted by livegreen420 on Nov 15, 11 at 6:48pm

    Love this one so true

  • Submitted by PyroFrost on Jun 21, 10 at 8:45pm

    Yea... That would be something a girl would pull on me. :p

  • Submitted by Attack_emily on May 24, 11 at 12:16am

    Hahaaa IM DYINGG

  • Submitted by Rabaul on Feb 7, 11 at 2:49am

    I live in 415 too, her

  • Submitted by slinging_liquor on Oct 9, 11 at 8:13pm

    10 years of pulling out worked for me. third week after getting married and not pulling out...future daddy. and high five on knowing when to pull out.

  • Submitted by loliliketexts on Aug 27, 10 at 12:35am

    510?

  • Submitted by Cthulhu on Sep 18, 10 at 7:47pm

    Anal. Natures condom.

  • Submitted by nikoliss on Jun 1, 10 at 9:30pm

    Hkviolhjrkhdlvj lln wkiook xblckkccfidf\n\n(no shit, my pet snake typed that...I think he likes this one)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:47pm

    I'm amazed how many people have never heard that line before. I've personally had that line said to me before and responded "Your eggs are a good distance from your face. Don't worry about it." Then went for the pullout and aim for the eyes approach. I went 1 for 2 on the eyes btw.

  • Submitted by kingdemp on Jan 31, 11 at 3:50am

    Fuck using condoms, I give girls a box of Plan B when we're done. Problem solved. Next....

  • Submitted by jbean1583 on Apr 26, 11 at 6:31pm

    Damn I wish I was that smart during my single days!! It was always so hard to get around that classic little lie.

  • Submitted by paigeyk on Jul 21, 11 at 12:36am

    this would be from the yay area! such a good text.

  • Submitted by shiloh1luv on Mar 1, 11 at 10:56pm

    Smart girl.. I might use that

  • 83 84
    Submitted by JoeyL on Jan 21, 12 at 12:25am

    epic

  • Submitted by MeowMix6969 on Dec 27, 10 at 6:11pm

    1 in 4 people have an STD. 90% of people with HIV don't know they have it.

  • Submitted by mrscookiemonster on Feb 1, 11 at 8:02am

    I'm a girl, and I've always thought it should be a guys responsibility to have condoms. Like, I might have the wrong size or whatever. I mean, i never use them, but if i did it would be his job. But that line was epic.

  • Submitted by crackdallas on Nov 9, 10 at 3:24am

    Shit happens men better stay safe all the time

  • Submitted by Inoidzervitall on Jun 7, 11 at 4:26am

    @ebb2226 I'm thinking that was kinda the point. :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 7:59pm

    510 bay area nigggga :)

  • Submitted by MattIsLike_ on Dec 30, 10 at 11:36am

    Fucking win

  • 77 80
    Submitted by gorkk_54 on Nov 2, 11 at 12:51pm

    Epic line!

  • Submitted by xbb2226 on Jun 3, 11 at 6:14am

    when she said ready to be a mom i would have been ready to run out the door!

  • Submitted by mixxdcandyy on Feb 16, 11 at 9:31pm

    I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms XD

  • Submitted by josielee2012 on Sep 5, 11 at 8:05pm

    Girls shouldn't have to buy condoms for random hookups. What if they carry around a magnum and the guy they try to hook up with has a tiny dick? Men can buy their own condoms.

  • 82 92
    Submitted by gotaholtofit on Nov 10, 11 at 7:03pm

    Don't you just hate when she's actually intelligent...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:10pm

    anal baby anal. vagifail.

  • Submitted by marelann on Jul 25, 11 at 1:39am

    Best. Psychology. Ever.

  • 67 71
    Submitted by bolinasman on Jul 30, 12 at 3:04am

    Haha straight magin

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 11:54am

    most guys with any dick control would just say "rock n roll" and then pull out and bust ropes on her face!

  • 67 72
    Submitted by osbaldodominguez on Feb 15, 12 at 12:17am

    Thats horrible

  • Submitted by jojop827 on Nov 17, 10 at 8:59pm

    Best comment approach to the situation ever haha !

  • Submitted by LLLrochesterNY on Dec 11, 11 at 12:56pm

    Haha this is awesome!

  • Submitted by skalsky74 on Aug 24, 11 at 9:45pm

    gotta hand it to u thats a pretty badass move for a women most of them bitch an just say no an get dressed

  • 39 37
    Submitted by Mein_schatz on May 10, 13 at 5:01am

    When I was in the USA I dated a guy. We wanted to fuck but had no condoms. It was torturing... We both claimed to be clean. He tried to persuade me he can be careful not to get me pregnant. I asked him: "hey what if I get pregnant?". He answered: "Then you get a green card".

  • 49 76
    Submitted by Shiggy_Bay_B on Nov 4, 12 at 9:58am

    Go Bay Area Girl!!!