Have some text gold?

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  • i'm a guy, and i'm gonna go ahead and say thats probably one of the best lines i've seen on this site

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:13pm
  • i second that, 10:13. who the hell fucks without a condom these days anyway? idiots. my buddy has this "give some, take some" approach to STDs. no thanks. i'll keep my weiner clean and NOT pay child support.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:47pm
  • Haahhhaaa I stopped carrying them the time the condom I had was too big for his tiny dick. Men, buy your own, it's really not that hard.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 4:16am
  • I don't see why you're all fighting over this. Regardless of whether of not she should have had a condom she didn't and she used a REALLY GREAT LINE to get her point across - that she wasn't having sex without it. Maybe she usually had them? Maybe they ran out? Who knows. But she was smart and safe and really really witty.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:21am
  • 1:25 while i'll give you that it is safer for the woman to carry them, its not her fucking job to buy the condoms. Girls pay, sometimes a lot of money, for birth control pills. guys can spend on the condoms. and while it is a good idea for a girl to carry condoms, the responsibility really doesn't lie on her.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:34am
  • 2:15/3:37: point is, grow up. 1:34: Agreed. and getting birth control often entails more than just the price (i.e. Time/$ spent having to meet w/ your doctor first and go through an exam, messed up side-effects of various birth-control methods, having to remember to take your damn pill every single day, etc.) The least men can do is keep a condom or two in their wallet.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:58am
    • condoms break more easily when kept in a wallet. pocket's a better choice.

      Submitted by mukate08 on Jul 2, 10 at 2:22am
  • for all the idiots saying pulling out works - I got pregnant that way...so um, NO it doesn't work!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 3:05pm
    • yea i also got pregnant that way even with taking birth controle EVERYDAY dont use pull out use a condom

      Submitted by soontobemom on Jul 21, 10 at 5:01pm
      • I got pregnant that way too! Lol definitely learnt my lesson. And I love my daughter :) she's definitely not an accident though. Best thing that's ever happened to me.

        Submitted by aphroditee69 on Sep 23, 10 at 4:36pm
  • I am a single mother and I absolutely love this statement... and will definately use this line if the need ever arises.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 8:33pm
  • Wow. That's one of the most awesome lines! (Finding out like that, that the guy lied about not having condoms so he could go bare for his own satisfaction--would have been my cue for re-dressing!!!)

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:25pm
  • @10:04 (bottom) BC costs between 50-100 Dollars if you have INSURANCE. Without it, it's twice as much. You can buy a twelve pack of condoms for 5 bucks at Walgreens, the good kind that ensure to snag anything you don't want to get in. However, both parties regardless of Birth control or not should have at least one condom on them when they are looking to get laid. Although a witty line, I would have zipped up my pants the moment I caught the fool lying. No vajayjay for him. Ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 25, 09 at 8:32pm
    • or....you can go to Planned Parenthood and get birth control for free along with free condoms, so the $5 a guy has to spend for condoms ends up being more of an expense than a girl would have to spend.

      Submitted by kingdemp on Jan 31, 11 at 3:48am
  • You're brilliant, and that douche doesn't deserve you :D

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:59am
  • BEST LINE EVER! you're definately my hero now!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 2:28am
  • 1:05: Because she is part of the act too... if she wants to fuck, she should make sure she has protection. Both parties should have one. there is only one person responsible for your health, that is you!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:15am
  • that's fucking priceless!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 4:18am
  • I would only be worried if he thought he was ready to be a father!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 28, 09 at 2:14pm
  • I am giving that line to my teenager to use!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:09am
  • "Perfect, I'd love to trade STDs. Bring it on!"

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:20pm
  • This is probably one of my favorites ever

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 11:29am
  • I'm a woman who's allergic to latex. Didn't find out until having sex with a guy wearing a condom. So glad I'm married now so don't have to worry about that issue. :-)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 3:33pm
  • hahaha! I wonder who this is cuz I live in the 510 lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 28, 09 at 9:33pm
  • this is so fucked up you arguing over it! it's guy + girl, not guy vs. girl if you aren't mature enough to see that, you probably shouldn't be fucking in the first place.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:14am
  • 2:15 is not ready to be a mom.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:37am
  • Clever!!! Nicely done.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:39pm
  • that is the funniest thing i've ever heard

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 1:24pm
  • @1:25 Not all chicks carry a purse, try again. Besides I've had the "just in case" condom then I got an "I'm allergic to latex" excuse.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:36am
  • LMAO 4:16 i've bought one box... It was the Magnums, someone told me they were good. How was I supposed to know that equaled huge. Anyway I'm so going to use this line, if I ever need to. lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 12:58pm
  • Hhahahahahaha, that's a good one, Yeah that magical forgotten condom huh?, that line was so full of epic win!

    Submitted by GoldenMe on Jan 26, 10 at 1:01pm
  • Holy Shit. Best story ever, although I agree with most of these guys. At that point ditch him.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 7:02pm
  • i dont see any dudes carrying around a "just in case" pack of birth control pills kill yourself.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:12am
  • umm why is it the woman's job to carry around the condoms?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:05am
  • "Don't have random sex with strangers... condom dilemma solved." ...Are you serious? Are you really that fucking dumb? Just because you wear a condom with someone when you have sex with them doesn't mean that person is a stranger...it just means you're being smart. What if you're not on the pill?? And what about STD's?? Quit being stupid prude. And awesome response. I think I, like many ladies here, will be stealing that from you!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 9:23pm
  • hahahaha wtf bay area men!?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:31am
  • Yeah, 3:31, that may work for you, but not for most people. Pulling out is about as effective as saying, "Yeah, my sperm swim the wrong way. You won't get pregnant." Idiot. Other note--- AWESOME LINE. I've used it many times, and miraculously, the guy always finds one after that. :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 27, 09 at 11:41pm
  • Yeahhh!!! The bay baby!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 26, 09 at 3:50am
  • nice line, but why would you fuck that jerk anyways? he obviously doesnt care about giving/transmitting STDs, pregnancy.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 6:29pm
  • That's a very good one xD

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:13am
  • Awesome line

    Submitted by chitowngrl on Jul 4, 10 at 8:36am
  • that would happen in the bay

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 3:25am
  • Oh that is a good line, all chicks should do that

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 2:49pm
  • everyone saying pulling out is more effective than a condom are so fucking dumb. guys pre ejaculate, which there is a HIGH HIGH chance neither of you will feel so he pulls out after that. pre ejaculation has sperms.. so you still have the chance of getting pregnant. dumb asses. go to health class.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:43pm
  • Soooooooooo been in that situation. I'm gonna use your line next time.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:25pm
  • Nicely done. Just wait until the next guy gets excited and says he's ready to be a dad. No clever words available to get out of that one :\

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:48am
  • lmao @ 2:37 and the op

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 10:50am
  • May 28, 2009 9:38PM Pulling out doesnt always work... precum has some traces of seamen in it. Ps. - I always carry some condoms with me, but i'm still using that line sometime!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 2:31pm
  • to everyone getting in heated debates over this & other texts: i'm pretty sure morals don't belong on this website. leave your preaching for church & just enjoy that some people are FUCKING HILARIOUS !!! love this one btw. you are my hero.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 10:47am
  • this is marinated in win and i love it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:10am
  • You're my hero. Brillant.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 9:21pm
  • are all of you really serious about pulling out being the solution to having no condom? gah, i can't even imagine how many stds are swarming down there...

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 11:22pm
  • You're my hero, end of story.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:37pm
  • I think that's one of my favorite posts EVER! I'll have to remember that one!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:03am
  • To the morons who say pulling out is effective: I got pregnant the ONLY time my boyfriend and I used the pull out method... never got pregnant from the hundreds of times we used condoms. Anyway.... hilarious line, OP.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 6:21pm
  • Amazing

    Submitted by bigbadj on Aug 11, 10 at 4:47pm
  • 10:09.. awe hahahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 11:49pm
  • lmao im stealing that line for next time

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 1:05pm
  • This is the best thing ever

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am
  • What a douchebag. (And for all he knew, you could have had chlamydia!)

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:06pm
  • ....your mouth can't get pregnant!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 10:50am
  • haha thats hilarious, im so using that line

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:57pm
  • DAMN you are my fucking hero

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:07am
  • and you STILL had sex with him? class...

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 11:46am
  • That would make me\nPull one out

    Submitted by waterpoloplayerr on May 2, 10 at 2:47pm
  • Nice!! I like her, she's witty

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 4:57pm
  • Who the fuck keeps tlkin bout their teacher? Get a fuckin life!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 09 at 8:01pm
  • Magically. Hahahaha.

    Submitted by PercivalJenkins on Mar 22, 10 at 4:45pm
  • smart men pull out, geniuses use condoms

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 10, 10 at 5:15pm
  • 1:03AM and 11:54AM Child Support = 216 payments, and 10's of thousands of dollars. Do you really want to risk one of your swimmers getting out of the tube before you get out of the tunnel? Listen to "Dad." Wrap it up 100% of the time!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:10pm
  • Eh You both should have some on you... YOU CAN GO AGAIN!!! :D

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:33am
  • SO going to use that line!!! SO going to!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 10:01pm
  • Wow, you are awesome!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:45pm
  • haha this is amazing

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:01pm
  • thats the best line ever! i love it

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:10pm
  • thats fuckin hilarious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 3:58am
  • Hahah roflmfao!!! Amazing!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 1, 10 at 7:55pm
  • 5:53... You BETTER have that condom, because no one wants to get HIV from a slut like you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:51am
  • I'm so going to use this. I already have a kid so I'm sure they'd buy into me wanting another.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:28am
  • That is the best tfln ever i can't stop laughing ha!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:02am
  • haha thats fucked up. i would have stuck it in anyway

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 3:36am
  • @ 2:15am- how old are you?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:19am
  • Damn, now all the chicks are gonna use this line. Genius none the less. But that's why I fuck them in the ass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 6:17pm
  • Wow. Just ... just wow. I wish I could "good night" this 50 more times.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:00am
  • Hahahahaha lol funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 15, 10 at 11:56pm
  • This is the smartest idea ever! I am totally using this next time :P

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 20, 09 at 9:22pm
  • im pretty sure i know these people

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 5:19pm
  • to people who cry about women buying condoms... Birth control pills are a lot cheaper if you actually fuck on them. Condoms are like 2$/piece. If you fuck daily, it's 60$ a month. Plus, I'm a woman and I take BC regardless because it makes my period hurt less. So stop with the shit. Besides, men pay for the shit before the sex sometimes. The sense of entitlement of whores these days makes me sigh.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 10:04am
  • LMFAO!!! Nice.... I would have just pulled out. I HATE condoms!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 12:21am
  • Hahaha what a jerk!!!!! I love him thooo <3

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 30, 09 at 2:43pm
  • I don't think anyone's bothered to mention that you can get STDs from anal as well. Sorry to break it to you guys but it's factual. And guys and girls who are allergic to latex, there's good news for you. Check over the counter, the pharmacist will point you to the latex free condoms.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 5:31pm
  • Absolutely brilliant! Your my new hero!

    Submitted by Scubalove73 on Jan 28, 11 at 4:17pm
  • haha basically the same thing happened to me. I said thats ok I'm pro-choice... I'm not but he went and got a condom real faaast :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 11:04am
  • Good girl. High five on that one haha

    Submitted by BambiBaby25 on Jan 16, 10 at 9:22pm
  • hahahaa, fan fucking tastic! fucking dudes....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 1:39pm
  • I WANT YOU TO BE A MOM TOO

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:56pm
  • Well personally I carry the condoms b/c I can get the kind I like and KNOW they are good. Guys might not be so careful. I trust myself more anyways. That being said, Its NICE if a guy has some... but Im still using my own.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 2:01am
  • Im a dude and that is some funny stuff.......and 5:53 apparently your a little upset because nobody wants to have sex with you. Anyways...GREAT TEXT!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:55am
  • HAHA you go girl, i might use that one

    Submitted by casszie on Feb 25, 10 at 12:27pm
  • I hate actually being allergic to latex. No-one believes me any more.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 10:09pm
    • *pets*\npolyurethane condoms. trojan supra. lambskin. keep them on-hand. i'm a chick and latex sensitive; although 'specialized' condoms are more expensive, completely worth it.

      Submitted by hellionist on Sep 22, 10 at 9:01pm
  • Might have to use that line sometime too.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:25am
  • Best way to get one on

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 21, 10 at 1:58am
  • Haha nice

    Submitted by t7d5 on Oct 2, 10 at 4:47pm
  • ATTA GIRL! That's incredible. I'm proud.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:13am
  • Will be useing that one

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 16, 10 at 7:19pm
  • I think you are brilliant!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 6:09pm
  • ive said that excuse to fuck her in the ass i guess im just lucky my ex-girlfriend isnt as smart as op

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 4:05pm
  • this is the best line i've ever heard... totally borrowing it next time

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:32pm
  • I'm toally using that next time.

    Submitted by loverbutt on Apr 22, 10 at 1:50pm
  • Birth control cost A LOT more than condoms so if the guy can't afford to have them on stand-by, he should be using his hand to get off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 11:36am
    • You can get it for about $10 at Wal-mart. If you look at the yearly cost, though, that's about $120.

      Submitted by kawaiichan09 on Jun 10, 10 at 3:49am
  • That is fanfuckingtastic!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 09 at 3:28am
  • LMAO marin people arguing over condoms/birth control. get a life so using that line! but girl u deserve better

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 7:39pm
  • condoms are overrated anyway and chicks love it raw

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 1:45pm
  • HAHAHAHAH, that's clever!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 5:09am
  • If I need to use that line, I will. =D Love it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 9:52pm
  • HAHAH, makes my life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:03pm
  • Simply put. Hilarious. One of the best ones I have read. Well done.

    Submitted by skydiver83 on Aug 20, 10 at 10:50am
  • I am totally using that line!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:19pm
  • Pure. Effing. Genius.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 1:53pm
  • Dear 12:38, your comment just made my day ahahahaa

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 9:09am
  • 10:47 you are my fav.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 28, 09 at 8:02pm
  • I just need to be the boring one and point out that you are very able to get pregnant when using "pulling out" as contraceptive... There´s something called precum..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 6, 09 at 10:26am
  • You rule, hahahahahaha.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 6, 09 at 2:49am
  • its her responsibility to carry a 'just in case' condom because its just sketchy if the guy has to pull out his 'just in case' plan B

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:47am
  • hahahahahahaha!

    Submitted by icebox2345 on Mar 13, 10 at 2:29pm
  • Fuck yea!!!! Guys always try that one...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 4:28am
  • haha thats great ima use that one next time!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 8:27pm
  • This made me laugh so freaking hard. And I'm so using this next time!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:39pm
  • LMAO! YESSS! Best line EVER

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 5:12am
  • if u were trying to trick him into getting him to wear one, then well played. If not u shouldn't be reproducing ...ever

    Submitted by McMaster420 on Jul 27, 11 at 4:37pm
  • lol I'm ready to be a mom, why would you have sex without a rubber amyway? Ever hear of STD's? lol kids these days lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 4:45pm
  • 8:51 hahahha. this is first off an amazing text but this argument makes it better. i'm a girl, i keep a condom in my wallet.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:20pm
  • In soviet Russia, condom forget you!

    Submitted by Serec on Apr 6, 10 at 7:05pm
  • Lmfao that rich!!

    Submitted by aubinntela on Mar 26, 10 at 12:05am
  • that was good girl. He's a joke!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 9:21pm
  • 2:09 you should probably watch your kids a little better and NOT encourage them to have sex.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 2:13am
  • That is genius!!! Every girl should say that.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 4:36pm
  • HahHa reppin the bay area hahaha good job

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 4:32am
  • They do make silicone-based condoms. Perfect for those with latex allergies (real or imagined) and less likely to break. As someone with a real latex sensitivity, they were a lifesaver. :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 1, 09 at 5:38pm
  • haha quick thinking!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:20am
  • OMG! I LOVE THE BAY! only in OUR city will shit like this happen, im a girl n that was the best line ever. one time i asked to look in a guys wallet, i found a GOLDEN wrapper, n then i was like we can use this, then he took off his pants, all that ran through my head was. "False advertisement!"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 30, 09 at 3:11pm
  • This is the best line ever!! I too will be using it! Hopefully you didn't call him again. He was lying through his teeth about not having one. What a selfish ass! In other words he didn't care about giving or getting stds or what you wanted. All he cared about was his selfish wants and the sensation he would get during the act.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:46pm
  • EPIC!!!

    Submitted by thesplash_zone on Dec 3, 10 at 11:39am
  • how about just don't have sex at all, well unless you're married.

    Submitted by laurajexo on Jan 28, 10 at 12:38am
  • Hahahahah perfection!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 10:46pm
  • I tried that whole "pulling out" thing... I have a 4 month old daughter now. Pulling out = FAIL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 2:58am
  • Awesome line.... Awesome Chick.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 1, 09 at 12:10pm
  • You can get birth control pills free in the uk, but I carry a condom with me. I mean why not? It's not exactly a chore is it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am
  • LMFAO @10:47 and 2:37

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:39am
  • And I'm ready to b a dad

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 8:59pm
  • I'm a guy and that is funny.

    Submitted by matthewpaulengel on Apr 2, 10 at 2:02pm
  • fuck you I sure this class so much

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 24, 10 at 1:27am
  • It was the condom fairy!! Thanks Dane Cook for showing us the light!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 14, 10 at 10:45am
  • That is amazing. You go, girl!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 2:26pm
  • The best

    Submitted by karate1974 on May 20, 10 at 12:51am
  • Imma guy and this happend to My Friend(girl

    Submitted by tjthomas on May 9, 10 at 2:04am
  • I live in the 510 area code. The Bay area is small enough, i honestly hope i know you. Because you deserve Kudos for this kind of tactic. hahaha

    Submitted by rwag94 on Apr 3, 10 at 5:42pm
  • Mm, I love a good bayarea skaank

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 10:15pm
  • Don't have random sex with strangers... condom dilemma solved.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 2:16am
  • Genius! Smart girl.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 10, 10 at 9:38pm
  • Haha that is hilarious!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 25, 10 at 3:08pm
  • Brilliant! Double, triple, BRILLIANT!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 3:06pm
  • Yay areaaaa. :) that's how us bitches get down. :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 29, 10 at 2:43am
  • This is the best idea ever!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 17, 09 at 3:45am
  • i just pressed bad night so that it would be 900 :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 20, 09 at 12:19am
  • I'm guessing soviet Russia gave him the condom

    Submitted by fat_squirrel on Mar 13, 10 at 8:07pm
  • Yeah that's good.

    Submitted by kyledotcom on May 16, 10 at 10:07pm
  • everybody should carry condoms. everybody.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 10:55am
  • HAHAHA that was great.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 3:45pm
  • bahaha... i just might have to use that one! love it

    Submitted by missamandaa89 on Mar 2, 10 at 6:24pm
  • Genius bloody brilliant.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:32pm
  • I've never been more prouder to be from the 510, the bay area.

    Submitted by Katalystic5135 on Jun 6, 10 at 2:55am
  • Hahahaha! So typical!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 19, 09 at 7:29am
  • I'm so using this!!'

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 8, 09 at 7:54pm
  • Joey

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:48pm
  • I love that line. I think it's better to provide your own protection though.

    Submitted by anu on Jan 16, 10 at 6:00pm
  • Yay area..I fuck wit you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 6:08am
  • guys are retarded you're clever! i'm gonna use that except it would kind of blow the big one if they really didn't have a condom, thought you were legitimately a psycho maury-bound baby mama wannabe, and you didn't get to have sex.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:50pm
  • In Soviet Russia, condom forget you!

    Submitted by Degu_Boy on May 14, 10 at 2:50am
  • You're my hero. I'm gonna have to remember that one....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:28pm
  • Damn, that's amazing!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 2:16am
  • That's fuckin amazing! Haha

    Submitted by nolan123 on Apr 23, 10 at 11:12am
  • LMFAO!!!!!

    Submitted by KELLIS on Mar 4, 10 at 6:26am
  • I always have condoms in my purse for those types of situations. :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 10:05am
  • Oh and forgot the fact, ur the one who knows what size ur cock is! We can't carry around one for every size douxhebags

    Submitted by Zathelia on Aug 7, 10 at 12:05pm
  • "Anonymous said... umm why is it the woman's job to carry around the condoms? May 29, 2009 1:05AM" Cause if she wants him to wrap it, she should be willing to buy and carry them. Plus its easier/safer for a women to carry them in her purse than a man to carry them in his pocket duh -_-

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:25am
  • "Pulling Out" Rivals Condoms, Study Says

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:38pm
  • Thats awesome every girl should use that line.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 2:31pm
  • dayym girl. you legend (:

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 2:29pm
  • Real or fake, that is one of the most clever impromptu lines that I have ever heard. I think that would take the wind out of most sails. As a realist, I hope that my daughter is clever enough to use that line if the situation ever arises.

    Submitted by FistedSister on May 21, 10 at 2:10am
  • haha this is grrrreat!!! SOOOooOO true! .. this shit happens!

    Submitted by Khutch636 on Mar 18, 10 at 10:21pm
  • NICE!!!! If I ever need to, I'm TOTALLY using that! Go Girl!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:19pm
  • 2:37- you're right bc i'm a guy haha and 2:19 how does my age affect this?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:37am
  • Lol thats the best ever!

    Submitted by irishprincess416 on Mar 31, 10 at 7:41am
  • This is champion status right here.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 1:09am
  • creative and clever. love it. =)

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:08am
  • Haha sounds like a true man

    Submitted by tak on Apr 15, 10 at 10:48am
  • Ok so with the whole pulling out vs not conversation this is my perspective on it. I have been married for 3 yrs, we got pregnant with our son at 5 months (we were trying) we now have a two ur old son and have NEVER used a condom since, I have never been on birth control once in my life and have always used the pulling out method. Now I'm not trying to say that it works or doesn't but it's atleast worked for me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 3:31am
  • HHajaja

    Submitted by lilesai52 on Apr 11, 10 at 2:35pm
  • hahaha that like made my night!! hahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:50pm
  • Omg hahaha. Awesome.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 13, 09 at 11:56pm
  • I CAN'T STOP CALLING PEOPLE DICKS!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:44pm
  • Anal here we come...

    Submitted by pichu180 on Jun 28, 10 at 6:42pm
  • Amen to that

    Submitted by bigben9933 on Mar 31, 10 at 9:42pm
  • i'm gonna have to start using that one...hahaha.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:04am
  • Fucking brilliant

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 3:32am
  • The dildo had on a condom when I stuk it up my teachers butt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 7, 09 at 11:27pm
  • you carry a 'just in case' condom coz you never know when you might be able to coax a guy into cheating on his wife/girlfriend :-P

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:53am
  • Win. Nice scare tactic. :)

    Submitted by thestevenator on Apr 6, 10 at 5:50pm
  • So he's ready to be a dad???

    Submitted by zukorox on Jan 1, 11 at 11:40pm
  • I told my boyfriend if he wanted to have sex without a condom, even with me on birth control, it was fine with me but he had to be prepared to tell my Dad we were expecting if the subject should arise later on.

    Submitted by HorrorQueen on Dec 29, 10 at 9:22am
  • Definatly. Us girls pay good money for birth control pills that are not always effective the least a guy can do is god forbid buy the rubbers! I mean, u wanna get laid right?

    Submitted by Zathelia on Aug 7, 10 at 12:03pm
  • Hahaaa IM DYINGG

    Submitted by Attack_emily on May 24, 11 at 12:16am
  • a better man would have called your bluff or put it in your butt

    Submitted by WEAZEL1201 on May 3, 10 at 9:05pm
  • Oooo shit this is about me...WTF??!?

    Submitted by bayboi on Mar 3, 10 at 1:04am
  • Great!!

    Submitted by caroline27597 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:38pm
  • Hkviolhjrkhdlvj lln wkiook xblckkccfidf\n\n(no shit, my pet snake typed that...I think he likes this one)

    Submitted by nikoliss on Jun 1, 10 at 9:30pm
  • 8======D

    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 3, 10 at 3:00am
  • lol love it!!!! the problem is some guys still wont care....they think with their penises n not the consequences

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 9:15pm
  • what smart woman doesn't carry condoms these days "just in case" anyways?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:21am
  • I need to meet this chick

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 9:02pm
  • 7/17 10:43pm true, it is pretty stupid, but at least pulling out reduces the chances more than NOT pulling out

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 3:33pm
  • haha this is hilarious... i am deff going to remember this one : ) nicceee

    Submitted by lintlicker69 on Jul 6, 10 at 3:12pm
  • birth control to stop the pregnancy if thats all the girl is concerned about. bring some condoms to stop stds. your purse is a whole lot easier to carry a condom than my wallet crushing and destroying the dam thing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am
  • Anal. Natures condom.

    Submitted by Cthulhu on Sep 18, 10 at 7:47pm
  • You are a brilliant, brilliant woman. I'll have to remember that one.

    Submitted by ChucklingMadcap on Jul 10, 10 at 10:02pm
  • Haha that was very clever lol. I might use that one day. Nicely done.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:06am
  • anal baby anal. vagifail.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:10pm
  • Awesome, love it.

    Submitted by lexia0421 on Dec 28, 10 at 2:03am
  • That's great!!!!

    Submitted by Kitsune7767 on Jul 11, 10 at 4:00pm
  • Don't you just hate when she's actually intelligent...

    Submitted by gotaholtofit on Nov 10, 11 at 7:03pm
  • Yea um my ex pulled that with me not only did I leave here I checked my condom for holes placed by her

    Submitted by edward101 on Jul 15, 11 at 2:58am
  • Allways

    Submitted by sunshine33 on Jul 29, 10 at 9:44pm
  • that was fuckin a waste of time to read what ever that bitch said

    Submitted by Hey19 on Mar 23, 10 at 10:39pm
    • and thank you for wasting everyone else's time by submitting that reply

      Submitted by mjaymes on Oct 2, 10 at 3:57pm
  • 1:34 boooo-fucking-hooo. both parties are responsible, ass. so what if the girl buys birth control pills? If she wants cock, she should have some condoms also. And that's the fact jack. Now go climb into the waaaaaahmbulance and get out of here.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:15am
  • ok what happens when they guy says meeee tooo!!! Then that look of stupidity arises!!! everyone says they'll use that line but i'm guy that'll say, it's cool cause i'm fixed!!! you gotta be smarter than the stupid girl you are screwing!!! 7024062492

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 6:49pm
  • LOLZ you are lucky he didn't walk out on your ass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:45am
  • thats rough. nice mental tactic tho. i applaud u.

    Submitted by xxCarter952xx on May 11, 10 at 10:14pm
  • Carrying a condom in your wallet is a surefire way to have it bust... That said, both dudes and chicks should carry condoms. Don't be morons.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:28pm
  • Girls shouldn't have to buy condoms for random hookups. What if they carry around a magnum and the guy they try to hook up with has a tiny dick? Men can buy their own condoms.

    Submitted by josielee2012 on Sep 5, 11 at 8:05pm
  • just laughed at 2:37 haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:46am
  • it would have been funny if the guy had aids and fucked her without a condom anyways

    Submitted by flapjax on Sep 14, 10 at 12:56am
  • Love this! And he magically had one then. Go girl!!

    Submitted by Rednekinn on Jul 15, 10 at 4:40pm
  • Love this one so true

    Submitted by livegreen420 on Nov 15, 11 at 6:48pm
  • lmao I have banged so many women raw, that line never works on me

    Submitted by Chevy_Rox on Oct 28, 11 at 12:29am
  • 510?

    Submitted by loliliketexts on Aug 27, 10 at 12:35am
  • My god, I am man, and this is still hilarious.

    Submitted by Shakejoint on Jun 28, 10 at 8:03pm
  • BadMitch never wears a rubber, www.badmitch.com

    Submitted by badmitch on May 25, 11 at 6:17pm
  • Haha I lyk tht line dhat shyt funni. Ima useee it

    Submitted by jaymeeee on Jan 28, 11 at 12:44am
  • This is hillarious!!

    Submitted by aphroditee69 on Sep 23, 10 at 4:14pm
  • 510 bay area nigggga :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 7:59pm
  • you are freaking awesome.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 4:32pm
  • 1 in 4 people have an STD. 90% of people with HIV don't know they have it.

    Submitted by MeowMix6969 on Dec 27, 10 at 6:11pm
  • Yes girls should be responsible for condoms as well but come on guys need some responsibility especially since girls deal with birth control everyday. This comeback is definitely gonna be used by me :)

    Submitted by d18rae on Jan 20, 11 at 7:09pm
  • You are a genius. On behalf of all the single women in the US. I thank you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 24, 09 at 11:06pm
  • 510 = Berkeley, Oakland, East Bay, etc.

    Submitted by elvpaql on Aug 28, 10 at 3:20am
  • 10 years of pulling out worked for me. third week after getting married and not pulling out...future daddy. and high five on knowing when to pull out.

    Submitted by slinging_liquor on Oct 9, 11 at 8:13pm
  • Magicly....damn amazin how shit happens

    Submitted by wichowski on Sep 12, 10 at 10:39pm
  • Best line of all time. I will def be using it! Haha

    Submitted by kayjean on Feb 1, 11 at 2:03am
  • ..... Thanks for that note to self :)

    Submitted by sandlotbabe on Mar 6, 11 at 10:19pm
  • most guys with any dick control would just say "rock n roll" and then pull out and bust ropes on her face!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 11:54am
  • Weird how crap like that happens

    Submitted by Geemann0917 on Jan 5, 11 at 8:32pm
  • Best comment approach to the situation ever haha !

    Submitted by jojop827 on Nov 17, 10 at 8:59pm
  • Damn I wish I was that smart during my single days!! It was always so hard to get around that classic little lie.

    Submitted by jbean1583 on Apr 26, 11 at 6:31pm
  • Fucking win

    Submitted by MattIsLike_ on Dec 30, 10 at 11:36am
  • I live in 415 too, her

    Submitted by Rabaul on Feb 7, 11 at 2:49am
  • Thats horrible

    Submitted by osbaldodominguez on Feb 15, 12 at 12:17am
  • this would be from the yay area! such a good text.

    Submitted by paigeyk on Jul 21, 11 at 12:36am
  • Haha, I love this.

    Submitted by wherearewe on Apr 11, 11 at 1:31am
  • Haha straight magin

    Submitted by bolinasman on Jul 30, 12 at 3:04am
  • Shit happens men better stay safe all the time

    Submitted by crackdallas on Nov 9, 10 at 3:24am
  • Yea... That would be something a girl would pull on me. :p

    Submitted by PyroFrost on Jun 21, 10 at 8:45pm
  • I just tell them I'm fixed... It works nine pig of ten times! Not like I care... I'm moving back to Spain in a year anyways!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 17, 10 at 7:19pm
  • @ebb2226 I'm thinking that was kinda the point. :)

    Submitted by Inoidzervitall on Jun 7, 11 at 4:26am
  • epic

    Submitted by JoeyL on Jan 21, 12 at 12:25am
  • I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms XD

    Submitted by mixxdcandyy on Feb 16, 11 at 9:31pm
  • 12:38? Leave

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 31, 10 at 1:58am
  • Best. Psychology. Ever.

    Submitted by marelann on Jul 25, 11 at 1:39am
  • Go Bay Area Girl!!!

    Submitted by Shiggy_Bay_B on Nov 4, 12 at 9:58am
  • good girl

    Submitted by sdpk on Nov 19, 10 at 11:09pm
  • Smart girl.. I might use that

    Submitted by shiloh1luv on Mar 1, 11 at 10:56pm
  • That is what mostly happens when someone wants to knock a person up

    Submitted by awsome88 on Jan 2, 11 at 1:59pm
  • I'm a girl, and I've always thought it should be a guys responsibility to have condoms. Like, I might have the wrong size or whatever. I mean, i never use them, but if i did it would be his job. But that line was epic.

    Submitted by mrscookiemonster on Feb 1, 11 at 8:02am
  • Fuck using condoms, I give girls a box of Plan B when we're done. Problem solved. Next....

    Submitted by kingdemp on Jan 31, 11 at 3:50am
  • Epic line!

    Submitted by gorkk_54 on Nov 2, 11 at 12:51pm
  • gotta hand it to u thats a pretty badass move for a women most of them bitch an just say no an get dressed

    Submitted by skalsky74 on Aug 24, 11 at 9:45pm
  • When I was in the USA I dated a guy. We wanted to fuck but had no condoms. It was torturing... We both claimed to be clean. He tried to persuade me he can be careful not to get me pregnant. I asked him: "hey what if I get pregnant?". He answered: "Then you get a green card".

    Submitted by Mein_schatz on May 10, 13 at 5:01am
  • Haha this is awesome!

    Submitted by LLLrochesterNY on Dec 11, 11 at 12:56pm
  • I'm amazed how many people have never heard that line before. I've personally had that line said to me before and responded "Your eggs are a good distance from your face. Don't worry about it." Then went for the pullout and aim for the eyes approach. I went 1 for 2 on the eyes btw.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:47pm
  • Haha awesome

    Submitted by ffffairbr11 on Aug 17, 14 at 4:52am
  • when she said ready to be a mom i would have been ready to run out the door!

    Submitted by xbb2226 on Jun 3, 11 at 6:14am