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  • 282 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:13pm
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    i'm a guy, and i'm gonna go ahead and say thats probably one of the best lines i've seen on this site

  • 153 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:47pm
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    i second that, 10:13. who the hell fucks without a condom these days anyway? idiots. my buddy has this "give some, take some" approach to STDs. no thanks. i'll keep my weiner clean and NOT pay child support.

  • 128 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:21am
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    I don't see why you're all fighting over this. Regardless of whether of not she should have had a condom she didn't and she used a REALLY GREAT LINE to get her point across - that she wasn't having sex without it. Maybe she usually had them? Maybe they ran out? Who knows. But she was smart and safe and really really witty.

  • 105 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:34am
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    1:25 while i'll give you that it is safer for the woman to carry them, its not her fucking job to buy the condoms. Girls pay, sometimes a lot of money, for birth control pills. guys can spend on the condoms. and while it is a good idea for a girl to carry condoms, the responsibility really doesn't lie on her.

  • 82 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:58am
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    2:15/3:37: point is, grow up. 1:34: Agreed. and getting birth control often entails more than just the price (i.e. Time/$ spent having to meet w/ your doctor first and go through an exam, messed up side-effects of various birth-control methods, having to remember to take your damn pill every single day, etc.) The least men can do is keep a condom or two in their wallet.

    • 4 8
      Submitted by mukate08 on Jul 2, 10 at 2:22am
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      condoms break more easily when kept in a wallet. pocket's a better choice.

  • 84 32
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 4:16am
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    Haahhhaaa I stopped carrying them the time the condom I had was too big for his tiny dick. Men, buy your own, it's really not that hard.

  • 75 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:14am
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    this is so fucked up you arguing over it! it's guy + girl, not guy vs. girl if you aren't mature enough to see that, you probably shouldn't be fucking in the first place.

  • 73 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:25pm
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    Soooooooooo been in that situation. I'm gonna use your line next time.

  • 68 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:59am
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    You're brilliant, and that douche doesn't deserve you :D

  • 71 39
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:48am
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    Nicely done. Just wait until the next guy gets excited and says he's ready to be a dad. No clever words available to get out of that one :\

  • 68 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 6:21pm
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    To the morons who say pulling out is effective: I got pregnant the ONLY time my boyfriend and I used the pull out method... never got pregnant from the hundreds of times we used condoms. Anyway.... hilarious line, OP.

  • 70 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:15am
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    1:05: Because she is part of the act too... if she wants to fuck, she should make sure she has protection. Both parties should have one. there is only one person responsible for your health, that is you!

  • 61 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 9:23pm
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    "Don't have random sex with strangers... condom dilemma solved." ...Are you serious? Are you really that fucking dumb? Just because you wear a condom with someone when you have sex with them doesn't mean that person is a stranger...it just means you're being smart. What if you're not on the pill?? And what about STD's?? Quit being stupid prude. And awesome response. I think I, like many ladies here, will be stealing that from you!

  • 59 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:36am
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    @1:25 Not all chicks carry a purse, try again. Besides I've had the "just in case" condom then I got an "I'm allergic to latex" excuse.

  • 65 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:12am
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    i dont see any dudes carrying around a "just in case" pack of birth control pills kill yourself.

    • 29 25
      Submitted by laurajexo on Jan 28, 10 at 12:29am
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      birth control doesn't work right away...dure

  • 56 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 3:05pm
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    for all the idiots saying pulling out works - I got pregnant that way...so um, NO it doesn't work!

    • 4 4
      Submitted by soontobemom on Jul 21, 10 at 5:01pm
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      yea i also got pregnant that way even with taking birth controle EVERYDAY dont use pull out use a condom

  • 55 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:25pm
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    Wow. That's one of the most awesome lines! (Finding out like that, that the guy lied about not having condoms so he could go bare for his own satisfaction--would have been my cue for re-dressing!!!)

  • 59 37
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:05am
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    umm why is it the woman's job to carry around the condoms?

  • 52 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 7:02pm
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    Holy Shit. Best story ever, although I agree with most of these guys. At that point ditch him.

  • 49 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:20pm
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    "Perfect, I'd love to trade STDs. Bring it on!"

  • 48 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 10:43pm
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    everyone saying pulling out is more effective than a condom are so fucking dumb. guys pre ejaculate, which there is a HIGH HIGH chance neither of you will feel so he pulls out after that. pre ejaculation has sperms.. so you still have the chance of getting pregnant. dumb asses. go to health class.

  • 48 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:10am
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    this is marinated in win and i love it.

  • 45 22
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 10, 10 at 5:15pm
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    smart men pull out, geniuses use condoms

  • 48 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 25, 09 at 8:32pm
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    @10:04 (bottom) BC costs between 50-100 Dollars if you have INSURANCE. Without it, it's twice as much. You can buy a twelve pack of condoms for 5 bucks at Walgreens, the good kind that ensure to snag anything you don't want to get in. However, both parties regardless of Birth control or not should have at least one condom on them when they are looking to get laid. Although a witty line, I would have zipped up my pants the moment I caught the fool lying. No vajayjay for him. Ever.

  • 47 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:10pm
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    1:03AM and 11:54AM Child Support = 216 payments, and 10's of thousands of dollars. Do you really want to risk one of your swimmers getting out of the tube before you get out of the tunnel? Listen to "Dad." Wrap it up 100% of the time!

  • 47 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:19am
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    @ 2:15am- how old are you?

  • 46 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 6:29pm
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    nice line, but why would you fuck that jerk anyways? he obviously doesnt care about giving/transmitting STDs, pregnancy.....

  • 46 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:13am
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    ATTA GIRL! That's incredible. I'm proud.

  • 46 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 6, 09 at 10:26am
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    I just need to be the boring one and point out that you are very able to get pregnant when using "pulling out" as contraceptive... There´s something called precum..

  • 41 21
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 3:33pm
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    I'm a woman who's allergic to latex. Didn't find out until having sex with a guy wearing a condom. So glad I'm married now so don't have to worry about that issue. :-)

  • 39 18
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 2:01am
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    Well personally I carry the condoms b/c I can get the kind I like and KNOW they are good. Guys might not be so careful. I trust myself more anyways. That being said, Its NICE if a guy has some... but Im still using my own.

  • 45 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 11:22pm
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    are all of you really serious about pulling out being the solution to having no condom? gah, i can't even imagine how many stds are swarming down there...

  • 44 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am
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    You can get birth control pills free in the uk, but I carry a condom with me. I mean why not? It's not exactly a chore is it.

  • 43 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 11:36am
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    Birth control cost A LOT more than condoms so if the guy can't afford to have them on stand-by, he should be using his hand to get off.

    • 9 10
      Submitted by kawaiichan09 on Jun 10, 10 at 3:49am
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      You can get it for about $10 at Wal-mart. If you look at the yearly cost, though, that's about $120.

  • 43 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:37am
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    2:15 is not ready to be a mom.

  • 44 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 10:09pm
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    I hate actually being allergic to latex. No-one believes me any more.

  • 44 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:09am
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    I am giving that line to my teenager to use!

    • 31 25
      Submitted by laurajexo on Jan 28, 10 at 12:35am
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      are you serious?

  • 40 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 2:31pm
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    May 28, 2009 9:38PM Pulling out doesnt always work... precum has some traces of seamen in it. Ps. - I always carry some condoms with me, but i'm still using that line sometime!!

  • 38 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:20pm
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    8:51 hahahha. this is first off an amazing text but this argument makes it better. i'm a girl, i keep a condom in my wallet.

  • 39 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:06pm
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    What a douchebag. (And for all he knew, you could have had chlamydia!)

  • 40 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:57pm
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    haha thats hilarious, im so using that line

  • 38 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 4:45pm
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    lol I'm ready to be a mom, why would you have sex without a rubber amyway? Ever hear of STD's? lol kids these days lol

  • 39 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 2:58am
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    I tried that whole "pulling out" thing... I have a 4 month old daughter now. Pulling out = FAIL

  • 36 22
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 10:50am
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    lmao @ 2:37 and the op

  • 37 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:13am
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    That's a very good one xD

  • 39 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 10:47am
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    to everyone getting in heated debates over this & other texts: i'm pretty sure morals don't belong on this website. leave your preaching for church & just enjoy that some people are FUCKING HILARIOUS !!! love this one btw. you are my hero.

  • 37 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:33am
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    Eh You both should have some on you... YOU CAN GO AGAIN!!! :D

  • 36 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 4:18am
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    that's fucking priceless!

  • 34 21
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 1:24pm
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    that is the funniest thing i've ever heard

  • 39 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 5:31pm
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    I don't think anyone's bothered to mention that you can get STDs from anal as well. Sorry to break it to you guys but it's factual. And guys and girls who are allergic to latex, there's good news for you. Check over the counter, the pharmacist will point you to the latex free condoms.

  • 38 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 11:04am
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    haha basically the same thing happened to me. I said thats ok I'm pro-choice... I'm not but he went and got a condom real faaast :)

  • 41 35
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 2:16am
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    Don't have random sex with strangers... condom dilemma solved.

  • 40 33
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:46am
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    just laughed at 2:37 haha

  • 35 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:28am
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    I'm so going to use this. I already have a kid so I'm sure they'd buy into me wanting another.

  • 33 20
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:20am
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    haha quick thinking!!

  • 33 21
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 1:05pm
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    lmao im stealing that line for next time

  • 39 33
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 10:55am
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    everybody should carry condoms. everybody.

  • 36 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:10pm
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    thats the best line ever! i love it

  • 33 22
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:02am
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    That is the best tfln ever i can't stop laughing ha!

  • 37 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:28pm
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    Carrying a condom in your wallet is a surefire way to have it bust... That said, both dudes and chicks should carry condoms. Don't be morons.

  • 34 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 15, 10 at 11:56pm
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    Hahahahaha lol funny

  • 35 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 6:08am
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    Yay area..I fuck wit you

  • 33 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 1:53pm
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    Pure. Effing. Genius.

  • 37 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 11:46am
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    and you STILL had sex with him? class...

  • 37 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:56pm
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    I WANT YOU TO BE A MOM TOO

  • 34 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 4:32pm
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    you are freaking awesome.

  • 34 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 5:19pm
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    im pretty sure i know these people

  • 34 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:37pm
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    You're my hero, end of story.

  • 38 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am
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    birth control to stop the pregnancy if thats all the girl is concerned about. bring some condoms to stop stds. your purse is a whole lot easier to carry a condom than my wallet crushing and destroying the dam thing.

  • 34 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 9:21pm
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    that was good girl. He's a joke!!

  • 34 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:00am
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    Wow. Just ... just wow. I wish I could "good night" this 50 more times.

  • 32 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:06am
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    Haha that was very clever lol. I might use that one day. Nicely done.

  • 33 26
    Submitted by BambiBaby25 on Jan 16, 10 at 9:22pm
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    Good girl. High five on that one haha

  • 33 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 7:39pm
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    LMAO marin people arguing over condoms/birth control. get a life so using that line! but girl u deserve better

  • 32 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 1:39pm
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    hahahaa, fan fucking tastic! fucking dudes....

  • 33 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 9:21pm
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    You're my hero. Brillant.

  • 33 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 3:06pm
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    Brilliant! Double, triple, BRILLIANT!!

  • 32 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:03am
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    I think that's one of my favorite posts EVER! I'll have to remember that one!

  • 31 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 25, 10 at 3:08pm
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    Haha that is hilarious!!!

  • 35 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 8:33pm
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    I am a single mother and I absolutely love this statement... and will definately use this line if the need ever arises.

  • 35 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:50pm
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    guys are retarded you're clever! i'm gonna use that except it would kind of blow the big one if they really didn't have a condom, thought you were legitimately a psycho maury-bound baby mama wannabe, and you didn't get to have sex.

  • 31 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 3:25am
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    that would happen in the bay

  • 30 22
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 26, 09 at 3:50am
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    Yeahhh!!! The bay baby!!

  • 33 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 4:57pm
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    Nice!! I like her, she's witty

  • 33 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 10:01pm
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    SO going to use that line!!! SO going to!

  • 33 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 28, 09 at 2:14pm
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    I would only be worried if he thought he was ready to be a father!

  • 32 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:19pm
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    I am totally using that line!!

  • 31 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:03pm
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    HAHAH, makes my life.

  • 31 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 11:29am
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    This is probably one of my favorites ever

  • 32 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 17, 09 at 3:45am
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    This is the best idea ever!

  • 34 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 27, 09 at 11:41pm
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    Yeah, 3:31, that may work for you, but not for most people. Pulling out is about as effective as saying, "Yeah, my sperm swim the wrong way. You won't get pregnant." Idiot. Other note--- AWESOME LINE. I've used it many times, and miraculously, the guy always finds one after that. :)

  • 32 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:46pm
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    This is the best line ever!! I too will be using it! Hopefully you didn't call him again. He was lying through his teeth about not having one. What a selfish ass! In other words he didn't care about giving or getting stds or what you wanted. All he cared about was his selfish wants and the sensation he would get during the act.

  • 32 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 4:36pm
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    That is genius!!! Every girl should say that.

  • 32 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:19pm
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    NICE!!!! If I ever need to, I'm TOTALLY using that! Go Girl!

  • 35 33
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:32pm
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    Genius bloody brilliant.

  • 27 18
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 29, 10 at 2:43am
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    Yay areaaaa. :) that's how us bitches get down. :)

  • 32 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 3:33pm
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    7/17 10:43pm true, it is pretty stupid, but at least pulling out reduces the chances more than NOT pulling out

  • 32 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:50pm
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    hahaha that like made my night!! hahaha

  • 24 13
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 9:09am
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    Dear 12:38, your comment just made my day ahahahaa

  • 29 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 1, 10 at 7:55pm
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    Hahah roflmfao!!! Amazing!

  • 30 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 2:29pm
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    dayym girl. you legend (:

  • 30 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 10:46pm
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    Hahahahah perfection!

  • 31 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 09 at 8:01pm
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    Who the fuck keeps tlkin bout their teacher? Get a fuckin life!

  • 30 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 4:32am
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    HahHa reppin the bay area hahaha good job

  • 30 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 12:58pm
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    LMAO 4:16 i've bought one box... It was the Magnums, someone told me they were good. How was I supposed to know that equaled huge. Anyway I'm so going to use this line, if I ever need to. lol

  • 35 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:51am
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    5:53... You BETTER have that condom, because no one wants to get HIV from a slut like you.

  • 35 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:44pm
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    I CAN'T STOP CALLING PEOPLE DICKS!!!

  • 32 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:39pm
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    This made me laugh so freaking hard. And I'm so using this next time!

  • 25 17
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 24, 10 at 1:27am
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    fuck you I sure this class so much

  • 31 29
    Submitted by laurajexo on Jan 28, 10 at 12:38am
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    how about just don't have sex at all, well unless you're married.

  • 30 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 20, 09 at 9:22pm
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    This is the smartest idea ever! I am totally using this next time :P

  • 30 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 8, 09 at 7:54pm
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    I'm so using this!!'

  • 29 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 09 at 3:28am
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    That is fanfuckingtastic!

  • 30 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 5:09am
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    HAHAHAHAH, that's clever!

  • 26 19
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:32pm
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    this is the best line i've ever heard... totally borrowing it next time

  • 30 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 10:05am
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    I always have condoms in my purse for those types of situations. :)

  • 31 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:59am
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    This is the best thing ever

  • 31 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 7, 09 at 11:27pm
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    The dildo had on a condom when I stuk it up my teachers butt

  • 29 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 9:52pm
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    If I need to use that line, I will. =D Love it.

  • 28 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 6, 09 at 2:49am
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    You rule, hahahahahaha.

  • 30 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:04am
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    i'm gonna have to start using that one...hahaha.

  • 25 19
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:48pm
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    Joey

  • 29 27
    Submitted by anu on Jan 16, 10 at 6:00pm
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    I love that line. I think it's better to provide your own protection though.

  • 28 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 28, 09 at 9:33pm
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    hahaha! I wonder who this is cuz I live in the 510 lol

  • 28 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 6:09pm
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    I think you are brilliant!

  • 28 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 1, 09 at 12:10pm
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    Awesome line.... Awesome Chick.

  • 27 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 8:27pm
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    haha thats great ima use that one next time!

  • 34 37
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 6:17pm
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    Damn, now all the chicks are gonna use this line. Genius none the less. But that's why I fuck them in the ass.

  • 24 18
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 3:32am
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    Fucking brilliant

  • 27 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 19, 09 at 7:29am
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    Hahahaha! So typical!

  • 31 32
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 9:02pm
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    I need to meet this chick

  • 30 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 10:15pm
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    Mm, I love a good bayarea skaank

  • 26 22
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 20, 09 at 12:19am
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    i just pressed bad night so that it would be 900 :)

  • 31 32
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 2:28am
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    BEST LINE EVER! you're definately my hero now!

  • 29 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 11:49pm
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    10:09.. awe hahahaha

  • 29 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 3:45pm
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    HAHAHA that was great.

  • 27 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 10, 10 at 9:38pm
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    Genius! Smart girl.

  • 29 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 24, 09 at 11:06pm
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    You are a genius. On behalf of all the single women in the US. I thank you.

  • 28 27
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 1, 09 at 5:38pm
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    They do make silicone-based condoms. Perfect for those with latex allergies (real or imagined) and less likely to break. As someone with a real latex sensitivity, they were a lifesaver. :)

  • 29 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 2:26pm
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    That is amazing. You go, girl!

  • 27 25
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:45pm
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    Wow, you are awesome!

  • 29 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:39pm
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    Clever!!! Nicely done.

  • 24 20
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 14, 10 at 10:45am
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    It was the condom fairy!! Thanks Dane Cook for showing us the light!!

  • 27 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 4:28am
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    Fuck yea!!!! Guys always try that one...

  • 26 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 2:31pm
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    Thats awesome every girl should use that line.

  • 27 26
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 2:16am
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    Damn, that's amazing!

  • 28 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:55am
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    Im a dude and that is some funny stuff.......and 5:53 apparently your a little upset because nobody wants to have sex with you. Anyways...GREAT TEXT!

  • 26 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 8:39am
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    LMFAO @10:47 and 2:37

  • 28 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 1:09am
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    This is champion status right here.

  • 32 37
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 2:13am
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    2:09 you should probably watch your kids a little better and NOT encourage them to have sex.

  • 32 37
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 4:05pm
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    ive said that excuse to fuck her in the ass i guess im just lucky my ex-girlfriend isnt as smart as op

  • 25 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 21, 10 at 1:58am
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    Best way to get one on

  • 35 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 1:45pm
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    condoms are overrated anyway and chicks love it raw

  • 27 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:08am
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    creative and clever. love it. =)

  • 22 19
    Submitted by bayboi on Mar 3, 10 at 1:04am
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    Oooo shit this is about me...WTF??!?

  • 29 33
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 30, 09 at 2:43pm
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    Hahaha what a jerk!!!!! I love him thooo <3

  • 27 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 3:58am
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    thats fuckin hilarious

  • 18 12
    Submitted by tak on Apr 15, 10 at 10:48am
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    Haha sounds like a true man

  • 28 32
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 2:49pm
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    Oh that is a good line, all chicks should do that

  • 29 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:47am
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    its her responsibility to carry a 'just in case' condom because its just sketchy if the guy has to pull out his 'just in case' plan B

  • 27 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:31am
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    hahahaha wtf bay area men!?

  • 18 13
    Submitted by loverbutt on Apr 22, 10 at 1:50pm
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    I'm toally using that next time.

  • 19 15
    Submitted by aubinntela on Mar 26, 10 at 12:05am
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    Lmfao that rich!!

  • 20 17
    Submitted by icebox2345 on Mar 13, 10 at 2:29pm
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    hahahahahahaha!

  • 23 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 8:59pm
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    And I'm ready to b a dad

  • 26 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 13, 09 at 11:56pm
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    Omg hahaha. Awesome.

  • 23 23
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:07am
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    DAMN you are my fucking hero

  • 27 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:01pm
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    haha this is amazing

  • 15 8
    Submitted by nolan123 on Apr 23, 10 at 11:12am
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    That's fuckin amazing! Haha

  • 18 14
    Submitted by Serec on Apr 6, 10 at 7:05pm
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    In soviet Russia, condom forget you!

  • 19 16
    Submitted by thestevenator on Apr 6, 10 at 5:50pm
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    Win. Nice scare tactic. :)

  • 30 38
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 3:31am
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    Ok so with the whole pulling out vs not conversation this is my perspective on it. I have been married for 3 yrs, we got pregnant with our son at 5 months (we were trying) we now have a two ur old son and have NEVER used a condom since, I have never been on birth control once in my life and have always used the pulling out method. Now I'm not trying to say that it works or doesn't but it's atleast worked for me.

  • 25 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:28pm
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    You're my hero. I'm gonna have to remember that one....

  • 26 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 30, 09 at 3:11pm
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    OMG! I LOVE THE BAY! only in OUR city will shit like this happen, im a girl n that was the best line ever. one time i asked to look in a guys wallet, i found a GOLDEN wrapper, n then i was like we can use this, then he took off his pants, all that ran through my head was. "False advertisement!"

  • 26 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:25am
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    Might have to use that line sometime too.....

  • 15 10
    Submitted by waterpoloplayerr on May 2, 10 at 2:47pm
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    That would make me\nPull one out

  • 19 18
    Submitted by rwag94 on Apr 3, 10 at 5:42pm
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    I live in the 510 area code. The Bay area is small enough, i honestly hope i know you. Because you deserve Kudos for this kind of tactic. hahaha

  • 21 22
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 16, 10 at 7:19pm
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    Will be useing that one

  • 23 26
    Submitted by GoldenMe on Jan 26, 10 at 1:01pm
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    Hhahahahahaha, that's a good one, Yeah that magical forgotten condom huh?, that line was so full of epic win!

  • 28 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 12:21am
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    LMFAO!!! Nice.... I would have just pulled out. I HATE condoms!!!

  • 32 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 10:50am
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    ....your mouth can't get pregnant!

  • 15 11
    Submitted by nikoliss on Jun 1, 10 at 9:30pm
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    Hkviolhjrkhdlvj lln wkiook xblckkccfidf\n\n(no shit, my pet snake typed that...I think he likes this one)

  • 16 13
    Submitted by irishprincess416 on Mar 31, 10 at 7:41am
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    Lol thats the best ever!

  • 20 21
    Submitted by casszie on Feb 25, 10 at 12:27pm
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    HAHA you go girl, i might use that one

  • 20 22
    Submitted by KELLIS on Mar 4, 10 at 6:26am
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    LMFAO!!!!!

  • 24 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 9:15pm
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    lol love it!!!! the problem is some guys still wont care....they think with their penises n not the consequences

  • 39 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:25am
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    "Anonymous said... umm why is it the woman's job to carry around the condoms? May 29, 2009 1:05AM" Cause if she wants him to wrap it, she should be willing to buy and carry them. Plus its easier/safer for a women to carry them in her purse than a man to carry them in his pocket duh -_-

  • 18 19
    Submitted by Khutch636 on Mar 18, 10 at 10:21pm
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    haha this is grrrreat!!! SOOOooOO true! .. this shit happens!

  • 23 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 17, 10 at 7:19pm
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    I just tell them I'm fixed... It works nine pig of ten times! Not like I care... I'm moving back to Spain in a year anyways!!

  • 24 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 5:12am
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    LMAO! YESSS! Best line EVER

  • 32 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:21am
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    what smart woman doesn't carry condoms these days "just in case" anyways?

  • 10 4
    Submitted by chitowngrl on Jul 4, 10 at 8:36am
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    Awesome line

  • 15 15
    Submitted by matthewpaulengel on Apr 2, 10 at 2:02pm
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    I'm a guy and that is funny.

  • 16 17
    Submitted by PercivalJenkins on Mar 22, 10 at 4:45pm
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    Magically. Hahahaha.

  • 14 14
    Submitted by bigben9933 on Mar 31, 10 at 9:42pm
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    Amen to that

  • 14 15
    Submitted by Degu_Boy on May 14, 10 at 2:50am
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    In Soviet Russia, condom forget you!

  • 11 9
    Submitted by tjthomas on May 9, 10 at 2:04am
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    Imma guy and this happend to My Friend(girl

  • 14 15
    Submitted by lilesai52 on Apr 11, 10 at 2:35pm
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    HHajaja

  • 15 17
    Submitted by fat_squirrel on Mar 13, 10 at 8:07pm
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    I'm guessing soviet Russia gave him the condom

  • 24 35
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 7:59pm
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    510 bay area nigggga :)

  • 27 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 3:36am
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    haha thats fucked up. i would have stuck it in anyway

  • 22 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 28, 09 at 8:02pm
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    10:47 you are my fav.

  • 27 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:45am
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    LOLZ you are lucky he didn't walk out on your ass

  • 17 22
    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 3, 10 at 3:00am
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    8======D

  • 11 11
    Submitted by xxCarter952xx on May 11, 10 at 10:14pm
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    thats rough. nice mental tactic tho. i applaud u.

  • 15 19
    Submitted by missamandaa89 on Mar 2, 10 at 6:24pm
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    bahaha... i just might have to use that one! love it

  • 8 6
    Submitted by Shakejoint on Jun 28, 10 at 8:03pm
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    My god, I am man, and this is still hilarious.

  • 8 6
    Submitted by PyroFrost on Jun 21, 10 at 8:45pm
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    Yea... That would be something a girl would pull on me. :p

  • 11 12
    Submitted by FistedSister on May 21, 10 at 2:10am
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    Real or fake, that is one of the most clever impromptu lines that I have ever heard. I think that would take the wind out of most sails. As a realist, I hope that my daughter is clever enough to use that line if the situation ever arises.

  • 16 22
    Submitted by Hey19 on Mar 23, 10 at 10:39pm
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    that was fuckin a waste of time to read what ever that bitch said

  • 6 3
    Submitted by Zathelia on Aug 7, 10 at 12:05pm
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    Oh and forgot the fact, ur the one who knows what size ur cock is! We can't carry around one for every size douxhebags

  • 11 13
    Submitted by Katalystic5135 on Jun 6, 10 at 2:55am
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    I've never been more prouder to be from the 510, the bay area.

  • 31 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 6:49pm
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    ok what happens when they guy says meeee tooo!!! Then that look of stupidity arises!!! everyone says they'll use that line but i'm guy that'll say, it's cool cause i'm fixed!!! you gotta be smarter than the stupid girl you are screwing!!! 7024062492

    • 7 4
      Submitted by WTFmate on Jun 27, 10 at 7:18pm
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      You must screw some extremely stupid girls then...

  • 31 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 10:04am
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    to people who cry about women buying condoms... Birth control pills are a lot cheaper if you actually fuck on them. Condoms are like 2$/piece. If you fuck daily, it's 60$ a month. Plus, I'm a woman and I take BC regardless because it makes my period hurt less. So stop with the shit. Besides, men pay for the shit before the sex sometimes. The sense of entitlement of whores these days makes me sigh.

  • 4 0
    Submitted by skydiver83 on Aug 20, 10 at 10:50am
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    Simply put. Hilarious. One of the best ones I have read. Well done.

  • 7 6
    Submitted by ChucklingMadcap on Jul 10, 10 at 10:02pm
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    You are a brilliant, brilliant woman. I'll have to remember that one.

  • 8 8
    Submitted by lintlicker69 on Jul 6, 10 at 3:12pm
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    haha this is hilarious... i am deff going to remember this one : ) nicceee

  • 9 10
    Submitted by pichu180 on Jun 28, 10 at 6:42pm
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    Anal here we come...

  • 9 10
    Submitted by karate1974 on May 20, 10 at 12:51am
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    The best

  • 30 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:10pm
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    anal baby anal. vagifail.

  • 6 6
    Submitted by Rednekinn on Jul 15, 10 at 4:40pm
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    Love this! And he magically had one then. Go girl!!

  • 24 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:37am
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    2:37- you're right bc i'm a guy haha and 2:19 how does my age affect this?

  • 17 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 31, 10 at 1:58am
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    12:38? Leave

  • 2 2
    Submitted by bigbadj on Aug 11, 10 at 4:47pm
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    Amazing

  • 2 2
    Submitted by Zathelia on Aug 7, 10 at 12:03pm
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    Definatly. Us girls pay good money for birth control pills that are not always effective the least a guy can do is god forbid buy the rubbers! I mean, u wanna get laid right?

  • 2 2
    Submitted by caroline27597 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:38pm
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    Great!!

  • 2 2
    Submitted by sunshine33 on Jul 29, 10 at 9:44pm
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    Allways

  • 7 12
    Submitted by kyledotcom on May 16, 10 at 10:07pm
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    Yeah that's good.

  • 4 7
    Submitted by Kitsune7767 on Jul 11, 10 at 4:00pm
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    That's great!!!!

  • 9 17
    Submitted by WEAZEL1201 on May 3, 10 at 9:05pm
    Reply Report

    a better man would have called your bluff or put it in your butt

  • 34 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 11:54am
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    most guys with any dick control would just say "rock n roll" and then pull out and bust ropes on her face!

  • 27 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 5:53am
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    you carry a 'just in case' condom coz you never know when you might be able to coax a guy into cheating on his wife/girlfriend :-P

  • 0 1
    Submitted by elvpaql on Aug 28, 10 at 3:20am
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    510 = Berkeley, Oakland, East Bay, etc.

  • 0 1
    Submitted by loliliketexts on Aug 27, 10 at 12:35am
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    510?

  • 32 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 7:47pm
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    I'm amazed how many people have never heard that line before. I've personally had that line said to me before and responded "Your eggs are a good distance from your face. Don't worry about it." Then went for the pullout and aim for the eyes approach. I went 1 for 2 on the eyes btw.

  • 34 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:38pm
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    "Pulling Out" Rivals Condoms, Study Says

  • 30 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:15am
    Reply Report

    1:34 boooo-fucking-hooo. both parties are responsible, ass. so what if the girl buys birth control pills? If she wants cock, she should have some condoms also. And that's the fact jack. Now go climb into the waaaaaahmbulance and get out of here.