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  • Submitted by underagehangover on Jul 18, 10 at 2:27pm

    just make sure its always wearing a raincoat.

  • Submitted by SSSSSSSS on Jul 18, 10 at 4:01pm

    dick in a box!

  • Submitted by theDude420 on Jul 18, 10 at 2:37pm

    I'd wear a hat on my penis. It already has a turtleneck

  • Submitted by rjgree4 on Jul 18, 10 at 3:47pm

    This is a joke from a shitty romantic comedy

  • 84 78
    Submitted by ghettofairyxx on Jul 19, 10 at 3:29am

    stick it in your VAG. it will be warm and safe

  • 75 65
    Submitted by S_P on Jul 19, 10 at 5:07am

    Ok this is a direct quote from Uma Therman in Prime... It was the only funny part in that crappy movie.. The fact that it's on here is just lame...

  • 70 60
    Submitted by HelloHannah on Jul 20, 10 at 10:46pm

    WILLIE WARMER.

  • 81 85
    Submitted by mayorbee on Jul 18, 10 at 7:44pm

    There is a line, you know. A very ambiguously defined line where love of a wang is perfectly acceptable on one side and irrevocably creepy on the other. It's difficult to pinpoint when you crossed that line, but the hat comment shows that you have, in fact, crossed it.

  • 68 62
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 2:02pm

    Boring Balack use spellcheck.

  • 82 95
    Submitted by marsho on Jul 18, 10 at 9:38pm

    Stage 5?

  • 80 91
    Submitted by Nadiamurderface on Jul 18, 10 at 4:46pm

    Nothing better than a perfect penis :)

  • 68 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

    Son of a.....!

  • 68 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 23, 10 at 12:42pm

    Leo?

  • 77 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 3:37pm

    I had a friend he had the perfect penis. I named it Jesus !! Everytime I saw it I was like. Oh Jesus.

  • 65 75
    Submitted by PhoenixGray on Jul 19, 10 at 2:50am

    Ahhh...the epic win in a girl's life. And a creative genius has created the Clone-A-Willy to have a perfect copy available at all times.

  • 65 76
    Submitted by wallacelizabeth on Jul 19, 10 at 10:41am

    That's a quote from a movie..

  • 66 79
    Submitted by lenaki on Jul 18, 10 at 8:17pm

    Always classy in Vermont

  • 76 99
    Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 18, 10 at 5:07pm

    Dick In a Box!

  • 59 68
    Submitted by razr7670 on Jul 19, 10 at 12:05am

    That's just nasty. Lol.

  • 65 80
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 18, 10 at 9:13pm

    No such thing as a perfect penis. They're ugly (sometimes little) things that can sometimes do magical things.

  • Submitted by PolarBare on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

    Im Sooo firsty for pretzels...

  • 63 83
    Submitted by connermcpherson on Jul 18, 10 at 10:03pm

    Hahahahahahaha that's awesome!

  • 59 76
    Submitted by cdog14 on Aug 19, 10 at 12:35am

    1. cut a hole in the the box\n2. put your junk in that box\n3. give your lover the box\n4. have her open the box\nDICK IN A BOX

  • 59 78
    Submitted by BalackOBombsUs on Jul 19, 10 at 9:26am

    Someone tell me wat the fuck firsty meens?

  • 60 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 10:12pm

    There are ugly penis and handsome penis. Hate prob have ugly penis.

  • 57 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:48am

    And name it prince

  • 54 73
    Submitted by Jdub77 on Jul 19, 10 at 2:22pm

    Text me!! Six zero five - five five three four seven eight eight

  • 64 98
    Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 18, 10 at 2:40pm

    Purveyor of perfect penis presents pretzels properly and promptly....

  • 59 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:40pm

    Lex?

  • 59 91
    Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Jul 18, 10 at 4:23pm

    4:01- hahaha why didn't I think of that?!

  • 55 89
    Submitted by cheeerleaderrr on Jul 18, 10 at 2:30pm

    2:27 = win. :D

  • 59 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

    Zomg. Firrrrrrrst

  • 57 97
    Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Jul 18, 10 at 2:27pm

    That's fucked up.

  • 47 84
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 18, 10 at 10:28pm

    Mayorbee are you the mayor of firstyland?

  • 52 97
    Submitted by temeriti on Jul 18, 10 at 2:26pm

    Rofl. Been there. ;)

  • 13 23
    Submitted by met_b4_not_sure on Mar 3, 13 at 12:09pm

    I already has a head to put the hat on it too

  • 47 93
    Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 18, 10 at 2:42pm

    I think I know this penis... J longhost from boise?