If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?