Texts From Last Night

(708): View more from Illinois

He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.

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Rule: Girls, just tell your man you want sex. Just come out and say it or we might miss the "signs".

Submitted by TheRuleBook on Jul 30, 10 at 5:06pm

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- yeah i do and my guy still doesn't get it some times ¬¬
  
  Submitted by ohdarlingh on Aug 3, 10 at 8:55am
  
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Because you can't pronounce happiness without penis.

Submitted by maskedman on Jul 30, 10 at 9:12pm

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A kiss would have shut him up. Which would have progressed to making out, through to your home base which he can slide into. Bazinga.

Submitted by Keefcurl on Jul 30, 10 at 4:56pm

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Classic sign that someone went to an all-girls high school...

Submitted by orangefrap on Jul 31, 10 at 1:50am

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This is what sarah palin thought when she met Obama

Submitted by niceman on Jul 30, 10 at 8:26pm

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The reason he talks alot when you want to fuck is because you must be a shitty lay or easy fuck!!

Submitted by suredid on Jul 31, 10 at 2:46am

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In the ass?

Submitted by karenina on Jul 30, 10 at 4:14pm

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@kristiiina how do you correct someone and then you spell shit wrong? Stupid cuntbitchdumbass. Get real. She was making fun of anal dumbasscunt. Guess you never had any. The Grammar Nazi ain't complaining so STFU!

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 31, 10 at 12:44am

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- shouldn't you be drooling over a justin bieber photo?
  
  Submitted by Dream_big on Jul 31, 10 at 1:57pm
  
  133 189
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@bestwit you are my hero

Submitted by heavyweight420 on Jul 31, 10 at 2:13am

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Hilarious

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 31, 10 at 5:28pm

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Maskedman I think I love u

Submitted by holly6986 on Aug 25, 10 at 12:12am

161 190
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they're tripping!

Submitted by amayakittykitty on Jul 30, 10 at 5:27pm

165 198
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all I'm saying is girls in this area don't think like that.

Submitted by Carpebuko on Sep 22, 11 at 3:05am

155 181
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My dick...is small

Submitted by assmunch on Aug 23, 10 at 2:14am

155 182
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@kristiiina I spelled aNaLized this way on purpose. Duh! And my phone will spell it the proper way analyze. Can you not see the way I deliberately spelled aNAL? I think it's pretty clear.

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Jul 30, 10 at 8:54pm

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Totally epic.

Submitted by BayBelle88 on Jul 31, 10 at 3:03pm

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Yessss

Submitted by Blaise on Jul 30, 10 at 9:26pm

163 208
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@TheRuleBook- best rule yet

Submitted by ATXman on Aug 1, 10 at 4:52am

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@Im_Twelve\nYou are right I was not complaining, but your use of swear words together was improper. Each should have been seperate and the first letter bolded to give the maximum effect of that, Cunt, Whore, Bitch. :D

Submitted by Grammer_Nazi on Aug 1, 10 at 4:58am

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Excellent

Submitted by haha3 on Jul 31, 10 at 3:41am

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Maskedman, I love you for that.

Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Jul 31, 10 at 1:45am

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Shoulda just unzipped him an put his dick in your mouth. Result? He shuts up an takes the hint!!

Submitted by britney09 on Aug 3, 10 at 8:02am

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THEN SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!

Submitted by guitar_boy on Jul 31, 10 at 12:11pm

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Whore

Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 30, 10 at 11:40pm

162 231
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Sounds like a therapist. And a sex-hungry woman or dude who is homosexual.

Submitted by gtfo_asshats on Jul 30, 10 at 4:40pm

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If he's smart enough to do so!

Submitted by ofigot on Aug 4, 10 at 3:17am

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@my old nemesis cobra. How's it hanging? Ok now STFU and Kristina is a douche. Ticklemedumb didn't say nothing to her. Stop being old. Nice raggin on you again.

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 31, 10 at 1:58am

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I don't miss these kinda moments I grab them by the ass and fuck them

Submitted by scorn on Apr 13, 11 at 2:39am

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Haha have totally been there!

Submitted by smmexxiicat on Jul 30, 10 at 5:32pm

165 249
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SLUT. YOU ARE A SLUT. I FUCKING HATE THIS TEXT WHORE!!!

Submitted by afineguy on Jul 31, 10 at 11:54am

164 249
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- wow dude. double standard?
  
  Submitted by bandkid27 on Jul 31, 10 at 1:37pm
  
  140 237
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I love you

Submitted by raymond74 on Aug 2, 10 at 4:48am

134 191
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Draw him a map. for a successful life, walk away. for a one night stand that will lead to nothing, enter HERE.

Submitted by soccerchiksix on Jul 31, 10 at 12:20am

153 230
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Damnnit auto correct. It's a "GoOd" might to be aNaLized!!! Lol

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Jul 30, 10 at 5:19pm

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- obviously, auto correct missed your misspelling of "analYzed" so i doesn't work as well as you thought.
  
  Submitted by kristiiina on Jul 30, 10 at 6:06pm
  
  158 214
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First! And this sounds like my wife...

Submitted by thohug on Jul 30, 10 at 4:15pm

149 225
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Funny its usually the othr way around

Submitted by mikekid567 on Aug 14, 10 at 1:17am

141 210
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Desperate?

Submitted by leyyna on Jul 31, 10 at 12:22am

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Im_twelve\n\nRemember me? Shut up dumbass, some people don't want to swear so they misspell it on purpose. Stop being an idiot

Submitted by cobra8645 on Jul 31, 10 at 12:47am

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Oh I get it! It's funny because this person thinks in all caps.

Submitted by BrohammedAli on Jul 30, 10 at 9:48pm

172 288
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why do people say whore like its a bad thing. what you dumbshits dont like to bone whores. sad VERY sad

Submitted by ilovewhores on Jul 31, 10 at 3:34pm

149 243
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The only happiness that matters is your happiness

Submitted by Yourhappiness on Jul 30, 10 at 8:11pm

134 213
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I give up iPhone. "night"! Burning dinner fighting with my iPhone. Now Ima get smacked with my aNaLysis. Good night to be me! He's home!!!! Yeahhhhhhh

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Jul 30, 10 at 5:21pm

150 246
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In his pants?

Submitted by 897 on Jul 30, 10 at 5:19pm

147 243
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And by gross I mean yummy

Submitted by legonut4 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:44pm

155 259
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ughhh! any time you want a conversation they way sex, and anytime you want sex they want conversation! guys area so stupid.. and they saw WERE complicated!

Submitted by jaynebabyyy on Jul 30, 10 at 8:47pm

148 254
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- :-|
  
  Submitted by SoMuchStupidity on Jul 31, 10 at 8:08am
  
  137 213
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- they way sex? guys area so stupid? They saw were complicated? I'm just gonna let your intelligence speak for itself
  
  Submitted by escapedlunatic on Dec 25, 10 at 10:37pm
  
  150 204
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I've totally been there what happened to men?

Submitted by Zoeym on Aug 15, 12 at 8:56pm

92 145
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It's funny because penis' gross

Submitted by legonut4 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:39pm

140 241
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My husband would be happy to help you out with that problem

Submitted by MomWTF on Nov 23, 11 at 9:23pm

115 201
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Let me get you number baby!

Submitted by Carpebuko on Jul 15, 11 at 7:16pm

123 217
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story of my life

Submitted by savannahisthesex on Jul 31, 10 at 5:29pm

132 235
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@4:14 sometimes that's the best place to put it. To hell with just birthdays and anniversaries. I like aNaLysis more than twice a year. ToNiGhT is a hood night for that. Just cause it's fRiDaY!!!!

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Jul 30, 10 at 5:17pm

123 218
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And by gross I mean yummy

Submitted by legonut4 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:42pm

136 281
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My ex never understood that, he denied me sex on Valentine's Day just so we could cuddle. All I could think was "Really? Not even a quickie? Please hand over your man card."

Submitted by psychlove on Jul 11, 11 at 2:55am

128 273
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(708): View more from Illinois

Comments

Submitted by TheRuleBook on Jul 30, 10 at 5:06pm

Submitted by ohdarlingh on Aug 3, 10 at 8:55am

Submitted by maskedman on Jul 30, 10 at 9:12pm

Submitted by Keefcurl on Jul 30, 10 at 4:56pm

Submitted by orangefrap on Jul 31, 10 at 1:50am

Submitted by niceman on Jul 30, 10 at 8:26pm

Submitted by suredid on Jul 31, 10 at 2:46am

Submitted by karenina on Jul 30, 10 at 4:14pm

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 31, 10 at 12:44am

Submitted by Dream_big on Jul 31, 10 at 1:57pm

Submitted by heavyweight420 on Jul 31, 10 at 2:13am

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 31, 10 at 5:28pm

Submitted by holly6986 on Aug 25, 10 at 12:12am

Submitted by amayakittykitty on Jul 30, 10 at 5:27pm

Submitted by Carpebuko on Sep 22, 11 at 3:05am

Submitted by assmunch on Aug 23, 10 at 2:14am

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Jul 30, 10 at 8:54pm

Submitted by BayBelle88 on Jul 31, 10 at 3:03pm

Submitted by Blaise on Jul 30, 10 at 9:26pm

Submitted by ATXman on Aug 1, 10 at 4:52am

Submitted by Grammer_Nazi on Aug 1, 10 at 4:58am

Submitted by haha3 on Jul 31, 10 at 3:41am

Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Jul 31, 10 at 1:45am

Submitted by britney09 on Aug 3, 10 at 8:02am

Submitted by guitar_boy on Jul 31, 10 at 12:11pm

Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 30, 10 at 11:40pm

Submitted by gtfo_asshats on Jul 30, 10 at 4:40pm

Submitted by ofigot on Aug 4, 10 at 3:17am

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 31, 10 at 1:58am

Submitted by scorn on Apr 13, 11 at 2:39am

Submitted by smmexxiicat on Jul 30, 10 at 5:32pm

Submitted by afineguy on Jul 31, 10 at 11:54am

Submitted by bandkid27 on Jul 31, 10 at 1:37pm

Submitted by raymond74 on Aug 2, 10 at 4:48am

Submitted by soccerchiksix on Jul 31, 10 at 12:20am

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Jul 30, 10 at 5:19pm

Submitted by kristiiina on Jul 30, 10 at 6:06pm

Submitted by thohug on Jul 30, 10 at 4:15pm

Submitted by mikekid567 on Aug 14, 10 at 1:17am

Submitted by leyyna on Jul 31, 10 at 12:22am

Submitted by cobra8645 on Jul 31, 10 at 12:47am

Submitted by BrohammedAli on Jul 30, 10 at 9:48pm

Submitted by ilovewhores on Jul 31, 10 at 3:34pm

Submitted by Yourhappiness on Jul 30, 10 at 8:11pm

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Jul 30, 10 at 5:21pm

Submitted by 897 on Jul 30, 10 at 5:19pm

Submitted by legonut4 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:44pm

Submitted by jaynebabyyy on Jul 30, 10 at 8:47pm

Submitted by SoMuchStupidity on Jul 31, 10 at 8:08am

Submitted by escapedlunatic on Dec 25, 10 at 10:37pm

Submitted by Zoeym on Aug 15, 12 at 8:56pm

Submitted by legonut4 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:39pm

Submitted by MomWTF on Nov 23, 11 at 9:23pm

Submitted by Carpebuko on Jul 15, 11 at 7:16pm

Submitted by savannahisthesex on Jul 31, 10 at 5:29pm

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Jul 30, 10 at 5:17pm

Submitted by legonut4 on Jul 30, 10 at 4:42pm

Submitted by psychlove on Jul 11, 11 at 2:55am

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