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  • theres really not much difference between Christianity and Atheism, I just believe in one fewer god than you do, when you realize why you dismiss all the others you'll understand why i dismiss yours. -Paraphrased and quoted from someone i don't want to look up at the moment

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 12:09pm
  • all religions are based on the enormous size of my penis. so worship it bitches

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 9:54pm
  • "hell" must be getting pretty crowded these days, what with all these people with minds of their own popping up all over the place

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:45pm
  • 11:14, so basically you've been scared into religion? Just covering your ass on the off chance it's real? And they call atheists "fucking stupid"...

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:23am
  • 10:16, thank you :-P

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 1:04am
  • Haha believing in Catholic traditions is just the same as if your parents were like 'o i love you, but if you mess up Im putting you into the furance room and never letting you out.' Go santa and hungover athest questions <3

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 3:28pm
  • Yup, to echo many of you, atheist vs believer is still tool vs tool if they're going to try to impress their beliefs on each other.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 6:08am
  • Why are people ignorant for not believing in god? Believers are just as ignorant for believing in something they have no proof for. Stop trying to press religion on people. That makes you seem closed minded and pushy. Keep your religion to yourself and let nonbelievers continue to do what they do. It's not your personal mission to make everybody believe. It's not your mission to turn people into nonbelievers.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 9:43pm
  • a christian walks into a bar and asks for a beer, bartender charges him $3 and never brings him a beer. a few minutes later the christian asks the bartender to give him the beer he paid for, the bartender says "just because you cant see, feel or taste it, doesnt mean its not there!!"

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 5:34pm
  • I love how the ones who find this hilarious are the Atheists and the ones who are bitching how this isn't funny are the bible thumpers. If this had been a text about Buddhism or something than you Christians wouldn't be whining now would ya? Get over yourself and let people believe what they want, calling atheist rude names doesn't make your beliefs right.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:51pm
  • "Guys, all religion is based off of Egyptian hieroglyphs that date back to 3000 BC anyhow" You think all religion is based on Egyptian hieroglyphs?! What the hell?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 3:43am
  • oh boy, religious debate. one book, passed down over thousands of years, originally copied by hand, made into millions and millions of copies.. ever played telephone?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:25pm
  • been there, done that, they yelled and almost hyperventilated, i laughed so hard i got a sore stomach, all in all, well worth it

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:04am
  • This argument is fucking garbage, but if you insist... how can anyone believe in something that they're just supposed to beliveve because they heard it from somewhere? I thought that was called a conspiracy theory? Or an urban legend...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 4:01am
  • why does everyone keep saying santa isn't real? you guys are dicks. ILY SANTA!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 3:09pm
  • 2:56, I doubt that very seriously.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 3:16pm
  • Wow. Seriously people, why can't we all just live and let live. If you believe in God that's perfectly fine just don't go preaching it everywhere....if you don't and are atheist/agnostic/etc that's fine too, but don't preach it either, and people shouldn't judge people simply on their religious beliefs (or lack thereof)

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 8:17pm
  • "Seeing as she'd actually READ the Bible and knew what she was talking about." HAHHAHAAHAAHHAA............................HAHAHAHAHAHA..................... You might read harry potter too, but that doesn't make it any less fictional.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:00am
  • I wanna see this! LMAO

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:45am
  • To all those who think religious people can't laugh at a website like this...do you actually know any religious people in real life? Try talking to some. We're still human, you know. I may not get drunk and sleep around, but I'm still young, know how to have fun, and have a pretty good sense of humor.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 2:56pm
  • god doesn't exist. jesus doesn't exist. all your religions are wrong. islam, judaism, christianity, catholicism, all of them. wrong. Thousands of years ago, men who didn't really understand how the world worked made up a funky little thing called religion in order to cope with the world around them, the mysteries they couldn't explain, and the stuff we NOW know about. wake the fuck up.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 4:18pm
  • @ 3:10... "Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles."

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 6:23pm
  • Hehe, I would have loved to have been there--I'm a New Testament scholar (and atheist). :D

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 12:10pm
  • 3:43. please do some research. and by research i dont mean look up hieroglyphs, the dude/girl wasnt serious. however, DO look up the stories about the Egyptian sun god, and other ancient deities from other cultures.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 4:32am
  • I think the nuts just google atheist or jesus and go spout nonsense on the first 100 links.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:18pm
  • why are atheists so rude to christians and vice versa, no one has the answers all we have's a point of view... let it go.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:42am
  • "Bet she was ready for your hungover, athiest ass questions too! Seeing as she'd actually READ the Bible and knew what she was talking about." More than half the people who call themselves "christians" or "catholics" don't know shit squat about the bible... They pull their "facts" from what they've been taught, not from actually reading and understanding it themselves.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 2:03am
  • In defense of atheists, they totally don't appear to have started this argument.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 1, 09 at 2:40am
  • i wonder what kind of question the guy asked???

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 7:52am
  • sounds like many of you need to take an anthropology class or two...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 16, 09 at 3:02pm
  • WHY IS EVERYONE HAVING A RELIGIOUS DEBATE ON THIS TEXT MESSAGE??!? Chilllll the fuck out loveys

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 8:20pm
  • faith is lack of critical thinking.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:31am
  • LMFAO. im sorry but im a christian and i thought this was hilarious. the world seriously needs to lighten up sometimes

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 7:28pm
  • yee, 408. san joooooo!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 3:21am
  • The best part? His/her hungover atheist ass surely made more sense than the chick giving the report.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 2:11pm
  • Aeitheist here. Zeitgeist has been proven wrong so many times. Google Zeitgeist proven wrong.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:20pm
  • Why thaaaaank you, 11:20 heh

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:28am
  • And I'm sure you'll sound like the tool you are...

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 2:37pm
  • i remember going to church and my pastor saying "because you know Jesus you are wiser than everyone who doesnt" haha what a crock of shit! you better believe im an athiest now. btw listening to jesus freaks talk is always histerical

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 1:58pm
  • frankly anyone whose really religious and believes in a God/hell and all that (aka believes in consequences) wouldnt be on this site laughing their asses off....

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:10pm
  • christians please just off yourselves right now and go straight to your heaven, where if i were there with you, i'd be in hell.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:58pm
  • i wanted to laugh this morning.... you guys aren't funny. unless you count the guy who responded to people mocking his beliefs by calling another set of beliefs (or lack thereof) stupid.... hilarious

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 1:01pm
  • Hahaha thank you 11:00am!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:17am
  • Your so pathetic! I feel sorry for you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 6:10am
  • Oops, wrong post. Didnt know I was in the bible study discussion group.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:41am
  • In before religious fanatic swarm.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 9:57am
  • You're a great person.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 11:20pm
  • Pastafarianism is retarded; the biting satire is absolutely hilarious and the fact that it carries legal weight is fantastic but the fact that people worship the FSM is profoundly stupid. Har har, oh what I get it, you show your contempt for religion by believing in a satirical diety that isn't even your own idea, how galactically fucking original and it ABSOLUTELY seems sincere and believeable *yawn*

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:26pm
  • i think atheists are just a group of people looking for attention, therefore they try to start arguments with Christians. I dont understand why you care if you don't believe in a higher power anyway, why insult others for doing so?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 2:32am
  • Pascals Wager: Everyone will see the truth in the end...and atheists are fucking stupid anyway...better to believe and find out it's not real than not believe and find out that it's real. dumbasses. Try a new one christians, this is illogical and cannot be taken seriously by any intelligent people. Smart people are atheists, weak & stupid believe in imaginary people. Santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy - you see a trend? Wake up and smell reality.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 2:54pm
  • Thank you, 2:11 .. (The best part? His/her hungover atheist ass surely made more sense than the chick giving the report.) I sent/submitted the original text, hahah stop having a full religious debate over it!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 7:54pm
  • @1:34, I was thinking the same thing. Probably so they can save us from our evil ways.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 1:45pm
  • Hey 7:52, I'm a girl :-)

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 7:03pm
  • Sounds glorious. When people think fairytales are real, treat them like idiots.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:36pm
  • I'm really enjoying all the hardcore religious people on here spouting off more obscenities than the atheists. Classy stuff right there.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 4:02pm
  • 2:42 was totally thinking the same thing!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:35pm
  • Here's another thing: the book can also be...a hat.

    Submitted by WTFmate on Jun 21, 10 at 5:53am
  • I would rather live my life and enjoy it than dedicate it to someone who might or might not exist. \n\nSome of you keep saying that you're Christian "just to be on the safe side", being a Christian is about believing in something higher than yourself, not because you don't want to die and go to hell. Some of you have no idea what religion really means. Also calling him "God" can refer to any of the "gods" that people believe in, you can tell you all read the Old Testam

    Submitted by __dani on Jul 6, 10 at 12:08pm
  • You can't say that you're christian because you need to "cover all the bases" because christianity requires you to believe that god is real, not he might be, so if you are submitting to that logic, then you are submitting to agnosticism.. not christianity, except you're just being a pussy about it and saying that I'm too scared to go against christianity because of all the promising things they say... why don't you believe in santa? it's better to believe than not to belie

    Submitted by cywoods on May 7, 10 at 5:36pm
  • Atheism is a religion the same way not collecting stamps is a hobby.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 18, 09 at 7:05pm
  • Why don't you all keep your fucking opinions about religion to your fucking selves?! It's really none of your business what anyone else believes or does not believe. Also, atheism is the belief that deities do not exist, which is almost like a religion, a religion of not believing...agnostic people just don't believe and don't really try to influence other people's belief systems. way to be! guys.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 5:34pm
  • The discussion is pointless. There's only name-calling amongst two groups of people that are never going to open-minded enough to listen to the other side. Quit arguing on a post that was meant to be funny on a website that is built for entertainment.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 5:18pm
  • Athiests like poopy butt sacks. Stop crying

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:56pm
  • Everyone will see the truth in the end...and atheists are fucking stupid anyway...better to believe and find out it's not real than not believe and find out that it's real. dumbasses. OMG, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING IDIOT TO EVER LIVE and madddd respect to the dude that mosted this. mad. respect.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 11:30pm
  • I can't believe you guys are arguing on a website, over someone else's text.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 1:11pm
  • she can talk about what she believes all she wants all that matters is whats real believing in santa doesnt make him real

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:53am
  • I would just like to thank the maker of this text for bringing 107 strangers into a spastic frenzy. Thankyou very much.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 21, 09 at 6:21pm
  • seems to be a lot of pissed off christians on this website about hilarious drunken mistakes...

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 3:52am
  • none of us are that holy, or we wouldn't be on this website laughing our asses off at all the inappropriate, but hilarious, bullshit that people get themselves into. so no need to argue.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:24pm
  • 11:14 and 11:28 its called pascal's wager, check it out. how are you covering your ass by believing in christianity when there are literally thousands of other religions in the world that have just as much chance of being right as yours does. please remember that no what you believe there will always be more people who believe something else.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:57am
  • Wellllll, you sound like Kevy Clark, so hopefully you're friends with him? ps this is July 13 hahah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 6:01am
  • Hahaha 11 Am you made my day.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 9:31am
  • I feel like I know you? First name?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 8:08am
  • HAHAHAH 9:54 Really, people stop preaching on this one text. It really wasn't meant to be that big of a deal?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:16pm
  • WTFever. I'll pray for your hungover, athiest ass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:47am
  • @ 11:14, 11:28, 11:30 If you believe in God solely because of fear of hell or want of heaven, then you don't believe in him(/her/it) for any of the right reasons. So get off your high horse and let people believe what they want. (Isn't it the bible that says, "judge not, lest ye be judged," and "let he who is without sin cast the first stone"?)

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 4:59pm
  • what's wrong with defending the new testament with jesus...? whether you believe he existed or not, it's just an argument about a book and a person that may or may not exist. hard to win the argument either way. actually, impossible to win.. just look at our history. maybe he/she meant the OLD testament.. cuz Jesus wasn't around then, so it wouldn't make sense to defend the OLD testament w/ jesus... but he "was" around for the NEW testament.. so it does make sense.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:38am
  • hahaha why are all these godly people reading such a debaucherous website??????????

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 1:34pm
  • hey all you athiests and stuff, try being agnostic, its like atheism, except you done have to defend why or why dont you believe in religion, much more effective

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 12:07am
  • 3:25 is totally right!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 4:11pm
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS THE FUCKING BEST OMG

    Submitted by corona123 on May 16, 10 at 3:53pm
  • Hardy Har Har. Fucking stupid post.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 9:01am
  • HAHAHAHAH if only people knew why she was presenting what she was presenting.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 1:52am
  • can we all just be rastafarians and smoke weed all day? that way atheists and everyone else can just be high and not give a fuck...no one would fught over that stuff! i know id be too chill for that lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 4:44am
  • Everyone will see the truth in the end...and atheists are fucking stupid anyway...better to believe and find out it's not real than not believe and find out that it's real. dumbasses.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:14am
  • 3:10pm "Frankly anyone whose really religious and believes in a God/hell and all that (aka believes in consequences) wouldnt be on this site laughing their asses off...." Think again. Just cuz it's wrong doesn't mean it's not funny. And no, I'm not one of the ones getting pissy and bitchy here.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 6:16pm
  • haha this is a great text its not suppose to be a religious battle of opinion fuckers. stop taking these texts especially this one seriously hey i go to church every sunday..and im laughing at this one..bc the person has a great sense of humor...and plus you don't see me forcing my religion on any of ya'll. so lay off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:35pm
  • 408 has the best texts from last night

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:48pm
  • Hahahh who the fuck is this? its not kevy clark, actually. its paige wood. uhhhhhhhhh HA

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 1:46am
  • 11:14 absolutely has a point- maybe he could just be a little more eloquent about it? It IS safer to believe than it is not too, covering all your bases right? I'm not going to keep smoking because there is a chance I won't die of lung cancer, I'm going to quit because then I'm 100% in the clear. Get it, Christianity is qutting smoking...Ha... I'm a God loving Christian and LOL at 11:00!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:28am
  • Actually, the dude that posted this is a girl ;-) July 13, what's YOUR first name hahah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 2:21pm
  • Jesus still loves you. 'salright.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:42am
  • best believe you are probably going straight to hell.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:34am
  • study evolution. maybe you'll learn something.

    Submitted by NEONwhip on Feb 13, 11 at 2:38pm
  • 11:14 Great "ambassador of Christ" you are. If you continue treating others not as brother, but as enemies to be put down with vulgur and profane language, than you will go to hell just as the athiest will. However, if I'm right, and if your beleifs are nothing but paltry non-sense, you're just an asshole, and I'm just a guy trying to get by. So much for your theory.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 4:04pm
  • Ha, no I'm not scared into religion you dumbass. Does my post say anything about being scared into religion? I think not. Just saying it's a safer way to look at things rather than being atheist. I'm just stating the facts, idiot.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:30am
  • Honestly, I thought the religious battle that followed this was bar far funnier than the actual text, which I thought was pretty damned funny. Woo, thanks everyone for making me laugh. (:

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 3:45am
  • @ 11:14 (That's a somewhat nice film btw.) @ 11:28 About your "safer" arguments.. Quoting Dawkings: "Would you bet on God's valuing dishonestly faked belief (or even honest belief) over honest scepticism?"

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 2:42pm
  • Guys, all religion is based off of Egyptian hieroglyphs that date back to 3000 BC anyhow, so why bother arguing? People who believe something just because others believe it are moronic. Try watching Zeitgeist.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 9:50pm
  • Bet she was ready for your hungover, athiest ass questions too! Seeing as she'd actually READ the Bible and knew what she was talking about.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:44am