tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
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