she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You must be Logged in to post a comment
i think the same people that say getting just a handjob when you're married is awful.
it's better than nothing, maybe it's "that time of the month"?
So, minor concern I'm sure.. but did she wash her hands before making the sandwiches?
haha. uh oh.
I'll take mine with no mayo...
bahaha great point ;p
Thats still the honeymoon, call me in a year when your are in the kitchen making a sandwich with one hand and masturbating with the other.
This text just seems...right
That is a badass woman!
You'd do the same for her. Or at least you'd better after that bit of marital bliss.
My hubby and I have been together 3 years and I still make him sandwiches and bj's with no strings attached. It just depends on the couple I guess.
You married the perfect woman. Hope it was a PBJ.
My husband read this and gave me puppy eyes...
Hell yes Houston!!!!! Texts like this give me hope! Lol
i do that for 1 night stands...
&& that's why you'll never get married.
You say that as if it's a bad thing.
i get sick of my nail-polish after a week, how am i supposed to stay with one guy for the rest of my life?
Did you seriously just compare your nail polish color to a long-term commitment with another human being? You've got a fuckload of growing up to do, champ.
a friend said that to me a while ago and i thought it fits.... and i know. i hope i do get mature, but i'm not right now and for the moment i'm ok with it, i'm having fun (:
are you 12?
awwwww poor thing
Today has been a good day for TFLN!
Just do special things like that for her to return the favor, both of you stay loyal and all will be fine.
MOTHERFUCKIN SPELL SANDWICH RIGHT AHHH!!!
I need to find a chick like that. Houston ftw
Haha, u clearly haven't been married long. Just wait, you'll be sleeping in the other room eating gold fish off ur beer belly playing with a flap of skin that used to be ur dick. Also you will be bald and giving all ur money to ungrateful daughters who are out doing shot you'd never dream of. Marriage = hell
sounds like you know from experience.
Hahahahaha, poor baby.
Ahhh H-Town that's how we girls take care of our men =*D
Just wait. After a while you'll have to cook her dinner and much more just for a handjob
You got it good
Who's to say it won't last some of us sothern gals are just like that.
Thank God for Southern Girls:]
Hey now! I'm from way up North and I have many awesome girl friends in very long committed relationships and we ALL take care of our men properly. Blow jobs are a must... quickies on a lunch break... wearing sexy outfits in the bedroom just to please him. Its not just Southern Gals that know how to keep a man happy!
Well, I feel awfully bad for you that you have to do so much work to keep a man happy. Really. Haha :)
Right? It's definitely not that difficult. Feed them, fuck them, and they'll do almost anything you ask, happily.
That's my boyfriends dream, eating a sandwhich while I'm giving him a blowjob. :P\n\nFun times.[:
Man I like mixing it up; this sounds like my perfect marriage
I'd do that. XD\nI'm a girl, btw. :)
You enjoy this it gets worse from what I hear hope u love her
That is amazing
Did she finish the job?
I absolutely love this
I would have done exactly the same thing
wow, there better be an awesome anniversary gift :)
Hey when your married, your lucky if you even get a hand/blow job
I think that is AWESOME!
But did she clean up your cum?
Did she wash her hands between handjob and making sandwiches? If not - that might not have been mayo on the bread...
You coulda got that without giving her half your shit, pussy…
That girl must be amazing'!
Barney Stinson sais so, and Barney Stinson > all!
Worst Russian reversal ever
I'm glad the poster is happy about marriage -- the majority of you commenting make me sad for the future of our world... Commitment and making my man happy is something to live for. Cooking, cleaning, the bedroom... It makes him happy, which makes ME happy. Everybody wins.
Cooking and cleaning should be shared. You're just another woman who gives in to the old standards that men are better than women so woman do all the cooking and cleaning. Marriage is about sharing.
This is fucking awesome
Haha hell Yeah
Did you get married straight out of middle school? Cause that's when I thought hand jobs were cool.
If she's genuine, marriage is awesome
Looks like she'll be getting a... Cockmeat sandwitch
Uh.... Marriage as a whole is not a horrible thing. I personally love it cause I actually chose the right woman. A hot woman that masterbates to me instead of the other way around when we aren't together during the day. Then when we get home it's amazing sex time. And she's smart and she can cook. Marriage win. Nor marriage fail.
A handjob with the sandwich makes this okay... But next time, take her out to dinner, go home, and get laid!!!! Haha
I know who says getting married is awful! The gal giving you pleasure and making the sandwiches. ;)
What the fuck is up with u and sandwitches
Hell ya \nAwesome lol
A girl being nice does not equal a girl being an awesome wife because she'll make you sandwiches all the time..
In Soviet Russia, wife make sandwich with dick for meat!
I hope it lasts for you.,,,
That sounds like me!
Just hope she washed her hands
One. Word. Keeper.
You would hope once you're married a man would be mature enough not to text his friends details about his sex life.
If you weren't married you woulda got head
Great wife:) wait.... Was she your wife before or after your handjob and sandwich ordeal?
Houston ladies :)
Soon things will deteriorate to the point where all you think about is the sweet release of death and/or divorce.
Fucking perfect. Sounds like my girlfriend
uhh, I don't even bother with handjobs :P
Youre married and getting a handjob? Fuck that I'm never getting married.
Ah that is the best
Handjob? Marriage sounds great except for when I'm getting a blowjob from 2 girls, then they go out, get me some food and then leave!!
That's what Slash keeps tellin me
Wait ten years. When she walks naked the sandwiches will jiggle from her ass.
hmmm funny... that sounds like me... but im not married!
Wow, this is an epic win. Sounds like the perfect marriage
DUDE, worship her
See? I knew I wasn't the only one. So we both get hungry after sex... -shrug-
Houston ladies representtttttttttttt
Tell the bitch to suck some dick, she is yours!!
Soon you pray for the sweet release of death or divorce.
It's not awful if her dad trains her right.. :)
Well played good sir
Shes a keeper
One of the great ones
A way to a mans heart, is through his stomach;)
Isn't handjob like middle school?
Yeah it is. No matter what she does for you marriage is not great!!!
This is a major win!!
I'd be giving him a bj if he was my husband
She sounds desperate.
You're clearly an idiot. If she's married what does she have to be desperate for? You're desperate for people to think you're cool. You're not dipstick.
That's pathetic if ur excited about a handy U deserve a wife
She's teaching you how to take care of yourself already, eh! Soon you will be doing your own handjobs as you pretend she makes you a sandwich. Lol
sounds like your wife sucks
The real issue is, did she wash her hands?
that is a very awsome women right there