He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
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so he's just a guy...
Tickle my Pickle Elmo?
Pedobear taught him well?
op is a guy. they are burt and ernie
If he speaks in third person, OP is dating Elmo.
Or Beavis and butthead
Snufflupagus strikes again.