just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
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Like Nick Swardson said, "Hangin out with a baby around is like being with your most hammered friend. 'Why you cryin? Can you talk? Guys, he can't talk...He just threw up, sick!'"
And they don't even pay rent, the lousy bums.
mmmmmm..... Baby, the other white meat
Toddlers are crazier and you're not supposed to punt 'em like footballs.
Wow... It's so true....
i thought i was the only one who thought that. damn
"It's like having drunken midgets around the house"... From Denis Leary's stand-up back in '97.
If a toddler could talk it would probably be "y the fuck r u so big?" or "y the fuck am I not that big?"
they know what's up