Texts From Last Night · slart's Favorites

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slart's Favorites Texts:

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It turns out my teeth are bleeding.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.

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(716): View more from New York

Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha how do you remember that?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

HOW COULD I FORGET?!

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