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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 12:50pm

    *removes sunglasses* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 11:07am

    This person is wasting time with texting and should be writing one-liners for the next 007 movie.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 3, 09 at 4:59pm

    I've heard this before

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 10:55am

    i liked it man. don't pay any attention to the haters above.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 5:26am

    Only 973 baby! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • Submitted by A7X2013 on May 24, 10 at 12:47am

    1:12 fuck you. It's ignorant little shits like you who ruin America. \n NOBAMA

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 10:51pm

    Ba dump chhhhh

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 25, 10 at 12:42am

    Ayoooooo

  • Submitted by bobshyno on Mar 20, 10 at 6:28pm

    That was impressive!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 11:02am

    I think it's damn hilarious... wish I had thought of it in fact. Ha ha

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 10:57am

    Haha, this is histeryical!!! O'Doyle RULES!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 5:06am

    i snorted coffee through my nose.

  • Submitted by TheArchetype on Jul 19, 10 at 2:18am

    Way to put quotes you find on /b/ on tfln...copypasta is copypasta is copypasta is not funny. :/

  • Submitted by cafarlic on Mar 15, 10 at 2:51am

    What's really funny about this? I'm watching the Family Guy episode where they have sex in the ear. IRONY!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 11:21am

    Seriously. That was awesome.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 11:08am

    hahah i found this hilarious

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 20, 10 at 7:19pm

    Oh u punny son of a bitch

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 4:51pm

    12:50 I tip my hat to you good sir or madam. This was just funny.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 1, 09 at 4:38pm

    Fifty some pages of these texts, and this one made me laugh the most... Fucking classic.

  • Submitted by shiecko on Jul 4, 10 at 3:47am

    "the victim was found dead with his penis in a jar of peanut butter."\n"well I guess he was..."\n*removes glasses* \n"fucking nuts"\n\nYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • 96 85
    Submitted by Juliagoulia on Aug 17, 10 at 12:13am

    Lmfao WIN

  • 96 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 5:34pm

    Win

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 9:47pm

    once u go black you go deaf

  • 91 78
    Submitted by ThatsBombBro on Apr 8, 10 at 7:08pm

    YYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 2:41pm

    It was so lame i actually laughed out loud.

  • 87 73
    Submitted by yannimasta on Mar 28, 10 at 10:07pm

    Muahahahahahahahaha\nRoflolmao

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 6:44pm

    This was hilarious, anyone that thinks otherwise is taking themselves way too seriously.

  • 90 81
    Submitted by Julyy on Jul 19, 10 at 12:58am

    hahahah love itt

  • 98 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 2:28am

    Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 1:15pm

    Yeah, 12:50 got me too. He shoots off faster than at least three of us. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • 94 90
    Submitted by Demoniclia on Jan 13, 10 at 4:12pm

    im just really happy that was the response...

  • 85 73
    Submitted by mikaylaaaaa on Jul 12, 10 at 11:32pm

    fuck yeah essex county! this person... the new and improved horatio caine.

  • 90 84
    Submitted by Khalii on May 6, 10 at 10:19pm

    Hahahahaha yeah!! Luv that show to. And this txt made me lol at my phone mid-class

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 7:31pm

    Wtf does Obama have to do with this? O_o This is fucking hilarious by the way XD

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 13, 10 at 10:36pm

    This is fucking hilarious hahah, very good pun. And yes 12:50 u are genius

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 15, 09 at 3:13pm

    this just made my fucking life. major respect points.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 1:12pm

    1226 you are a moron. half a year in office and he's done a better job than 8 years of Bush so go fuck yourself

  • 90 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 28, 09 at 12:34am

    Tap Tap Tap Tap GUUUUUUUYSH Aaaaaaaaaah!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 6:07pm

    hell yeah jersey! what. up.

  • 86 85
    Submitted by wherearewe on Apr 11, 11 at 1:49am

    This is funny. I don't know why people are trashing it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 12:32pm

    fake or not... this one was kinda funny

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 4:11pm

    OMG this is fuckin hilarious!

  • 81 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 10 at 1:53am

    YES

  • 87 89
    Submitted by Selphie950 on Apr 19, 10 at 9:37pm

    witty, love it

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 11:07am

    It's soooo cheesey, but it's sooooooo freaking funny.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 21, 10 at 10:09pm

    oh come on this is from forgetting sarah Marshall

  • 86 89
    Submitted by qwertyuiopasdfgh on May 11, 10 at 11:46pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

  • 91 99
    Submitted by skeeter22 on Apr 22, 10 at 11:51pm

    Way to quote the show.

  • 89 95
    Submitted by marsailidh on Mar 3, 10 at 6:29am

    ...forgetting Sarah Marshall.

  • 88 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 9:21pm

    this is HILARIOUS. props.

  • 86 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 9, 10 at 3:55pm

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 1:48am

    I don't get it. yes i do.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 12:23pm

    haha that is seriously fucking awesome. i dont understand why anyone thinks it isnt.

  • 88 96
    Submitted by AlwaysTheDriver on Oct 11, 10 at 10:25am

    That's both the best and the worst joke I've heard in months!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 1:02pm

    12:50 beat me to the punch. I'll just go home now.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 11, 09 at 6:24pm

    Hahahaha I want to be 1-973's friend.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 12:53pm

    12:50 FTW, I could so see him saying something corny like that, HAHA good one!!

  • 77 77
    Submitted by 771 on Jan 3, 11 at 8:28pm

    Next weeks episode:\n\nThey find another girl linked to the same suspect. He came in this victims eye. \n\n\n\nGuess she saw him coming this time....

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 4:06pm

    1:44 has a tiny dick

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 5, 10 at 8:02am

    Hmmmm yep nothing wrong just funny

  • Submitted by Danny66 on Jun 19, 10 at 12:32am

    Lololololol

  • 80 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 19, 10 at 7:52pm

    Best. 'nuff said.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 15, 09 at 7:24pm

    i dub thee; Greatest Anecdote Ever!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 8:08am

    i bet he'd been waiting YEARS for that one! a good laugh :-)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 12:27pm

    i though it was funny. nice pun. made me giggle.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 6, 09 at 3:43pm

    Wow this joke is from himoto in 1979 but with no csi

  • 82 97
    Submitted by DivSt on Mar 2, 10 at 7:24am

    Made of win

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 10:16pm

    bahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! i thought it was funny!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 18, 10 at 11:00pm

    Hahaha that is my favorite one so far In this whole list

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 5, 10 at 12:59am

    Really no reason to dislike this one

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 21, 10 at 10:48am

    Hahahaha!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 7:42pm

    i see what you did there. a good pun is always appreciated.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 1, 09 at 8:40am

    OMG!!! This is great!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 2:46am

    this text is PUNNY! ha ha get it? yeah it was just as lame as the text.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 11:01am

    essex county, what it do!

  • 77 95
    Submitted by RADiiCAL on Jun 16, 10 at 11:57pm

    Obviously this person is part of comedy sportz or has played CDs Miami before

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 13, 09 at 3:19am

    Makes me proud to be from jersey and have the same area code

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 1:30pm

    1:12 NO BAMA NO BAMA NO BAMA!!!

  • 54 53
    Submitted by tbtvampire on Jan 5, 12 at 1:24am

    Fake. Old joke.

  • 73 91
    Submitted by doitforthehood on Dec 28, 10 at 7:40pm

    Hahaha hell yeah she did! Chooooooo Choooooooo

  • 75 96
    Submitted by Xx3Fiasco3xX on Jun 8, 10 at 9:26pm

    LMFAO!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 7, 09 at 3:48am

    Omg that's exactly the one liner grissum would have said

  • 76 99
    Submitted by atmilam on Nov 2, 10 at 8:28am

    What a great fucking line ahhaha

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 2:21pm

    This was ridiculously funny

  • 74 98
    Submitted by spook4563 on May 4, 10 at 1:00am

    Best...one-liner...ever!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 11:20pm

    It's so Horatio to say too

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 5:07pm

    if its something quick like that, then pun are hilarious! you just cant be an uptight bitch who thinks only intelligent jokes can be funny. stupid jokes can be funny, just in stupid ways.

  • 50 52
    Submitted by vodkaluvver on Jul 7, 12 at 11:34pm

    most....epic.....pun.....EVER!!!!

  • Submitted by sometimes89 on Feb 2, 10 at 12:53am

    HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH so good

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 1, 09 at 6:51pm

    Ahhhh!!! I love CSI!!!! Sick fucks have fun at night!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 18, 09 at 11:03am

    hahahahahhahahha i live for these.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 4:26pm

    LMAO literally laughed out loud. I don't care how corny it is, or whatever, I thought that was pure awesomeness.

  • 50 54
    Submitted by majormeat on Feb 11, 12 at 11:01am

    thats from forgetting sara marshall

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 4:56am

    ohhh damn. took me a sec to get it, but its funny!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 1:26am

    Hayoooo Gotta love the 973.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 9:34pm

    Somone tell me, how the fuck is Obama relevant to a woman having semen in her ear?

  • 53 64
    Submitted by Ninchilla on Nov 21, 11 at 1:40am

    Hey, the Internet wants its joke back

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 11:04am

    wow. this is just sad.

  • 62 85
    Submitted by tu_madre on Aug 31, 10 at 12:04am

    Zing!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 28, 09 at 8:23pm

    YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I won't get fooled again.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 18, 09 at 2:18pm

    LMFAO AHAHAHAHAA LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO if only it was spelt as CUMing :D

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 1:44pm

    I weep for the future of America. It wasn't Bush's fault, we were attacked! The only thing he did wrong was to pussy foot around the fucking Saudis. Turn the middle east into a parkinglot for F-16s and M-1 Abrams!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 7:56pm

    This is great! Good one.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 9:49pm

    Is this a joke forum or real texts? This is an old joke. It doesn't belong here.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 1, 10 at 12:26am

    YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 12:26pm

    obama does equal fail. soo true. good job america on voting for the biggest fuckin moron ever.

  • 48 66
    Submitted by HaxvouovxaH on Oct 21, 11 at 1:11am

    Ohh it's so punny cuming in the ear\nClever clever clever

  • 49 70
    Submitted by she on May 22, 11 at 10:36pm

    this literally just made my day. just kidding. WEEK

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 21, 09 at 6:05pm

    there's a fruitloop in my anus

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 13, 09 at 2:11pm

    Probably fake, but god I love cheesy one-liners so much. Made my day man.

  • 52 81
    Submitted by asneakybeaver on Sep 30, 11 at 12:02am

    It seems our victim tried to defend himself with a broken pencil. \nI guess his his efforts were... Pointless!

  • 36 53
    Submitted by roflmfaottdid on Mar 10, 12 at 11:30am

    I see what u did there. What time does the narwal bacon?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 29, 09 at 12:32pm

    Omg!! This is by far my favorite txt. Reading a crapload the past hour and this made me laugh so hard I make my dog bark at the house from outside.

  • 32 48
    Submitted by ThePoorLad on Oct 23, 12 at 2:40pm

    Don't know why people think this is fake, I always text my friends stuff that happens on CSI, especially when it's something totally unusual like them finding semen.

  • 36 57
    Submitted by ldero3 on May 23, 12 at 11:08am

    Damn. I hope you write

  • 39 85
    Submitted by regime on Jan 17, 12 at 9:19pm

    Bazinga