Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
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I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
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