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  • Submitted by rick_scott on Dec 1, 10 at 1:29pm

    "But, I don't want to get FIRED!"

    • 61 59
      Submitted by djdannyblanco on Dec 1, 10 at 1:36pm

      Your dedication amuses me I'll probably be your only thumbs up

      • 67 76
        Submitted by iowawashington on Dec 1, 10 at 3:40pm

        Broken clocks are correct twice a day. That doesn't mean they're worth a shit.

  • 81 68
    Submitted by Reikage_Sanshi on Dec 3, 10 at 2:13am

    It's 5 o'clock somewhere.... Jimmy Buffet t-shirt!!!

  • 86 78
    Submitted by ohsnapitsbritney on Dec 1, 10 at 8:54pm

    This is what happens when u r the first of ur friends to get a grown up job

  • 78 76
    Submitted by blondebitch on Dec 1, 10 at 6:59pm

    If this area code was different I would completely believe it was from my phone. Perfect.

  • 77 80
    Submitted by suicidal_sal on Dec 2, 10 at 3:20am

    How about "I' not an alcoholic"?

  • 74 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 1, 10 at 11:56pm

    It's famous fuck-me Friday!

  • 70 76
    Submitted by fallensol on Dec 2, 10 at 2:45pm

    America, where being an unemployed drunk is cool.

  • 60 81
    Submitted by iheartsaid8ED on Dec 2, 10 at 6:09am

    Going places.

  • 69 99
    Submitted by alvionistic on Dec 2, 10 at 12:08am

    I've also used 'i am in europe' as a response....