Have some text gold?

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  • maybe she also uses them for currency like in Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:42pm
  • this might be the most fucked up thing i've ever read

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:30pm
  • OM NOM NOM NOM NOM OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:07pm
  • oh god im going to throw up

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:45pm
  • I used to work for a painter in a college town. The guy who moved out left a couch. We moved it so we could pant the wall behind it. Apparently this was his "finger and toenail clipping couch" and he put all of the clippings behind the couch between the wall and let them fall on the carpet. There was a line of finger and toenails and inch wide the entire length of the couch. That dude and this girl should hook up. Blech.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:38pm
  • that is theee fakest shit ever. thanks douchebags

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:37pm
  • Was she hot? If so, you should have let her shower you with her clippings, it would have been incredible.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:53pm
  • Fingernail biting actually does make me feel ill. I was at Quizno's yesterday and this dude was eating his sandwich while biting his nails. I lost my appetite and couldn't even touch my sub.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:02pm
  • Dammit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 18, 10 at 1:51am
  • ew... vomit

    Submitted by sydmarqu3z on Mar 28, 10 at 3:02pm
  • wow, i'm eating..i should NOT have read that right now.. i feel absolutely sick to my stomach.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:54pm
  • Ummm...... No

    Submitted by xXFLYBOYXx on Mar 8, 11 at 10:20pm
  • Fucking gross and I'm pretty fucked up

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 23, 09 at 8:24pm
  • Lmao I literally laughed out loud

    Submitted by meghen on Mar 5, 10 at 12:00pm
  • My cousin used to keep a collection of his toenails - his mom flipped out when she discovered it. I don't know what he did with them...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 3:07am
  • if this text is real.... there's something really wrong with that person....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:27pm
  • @1:44 you really are a fucking idiot. she drank their jizz, not fucked em you tard. can't get pregnant by drinking semen! i swear, the kids these days.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:17am
  • How does one get a date from one of the Hills Have Eyes characters?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:37pm
  • my old roommate used to cut his toe nails and finger nails in the shower and leave them there... and i thought that was nasty

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:04pm
  • wow, I just dry heaved. good thing I haven't had breakfast or I would have ruined my laptop.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 24, 09 at 12:10pm
  • ive known girls that let have been so hammered that for 5 bucks drink jizz out of a cup from like 10 different ppl at a party.. one by one they go in the bathroom and rubbed one out, and this girl drank it.. true story, it was like 2 shots worth dude.. i couldnt believe.. took it down with no problem, and then obviously no one would talk to her OR let her hit the blunt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:14am
  • WHAT THE FUCK?! I thought I was bad when I would just flick them in the general direction of the trash can in my room...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:28pm
  • ur dating the wrong girls dude.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 3:17am
  • Who the hell clicked "Good night" on this?!?!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:38am
  • Best thing I've ever heard.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 17, 10 at 11:45am
  • 1:52, i bet you didn't just throw up in your mouth a little, liar. and holy fuck, man if you made that shit up, even though its probably fucking sicker than that dude who ass fucked that chick that sharted her self, thats a pretty damn good story. toenails in a jar. i wonder if they all meshed together, and what it smells like. probably like old dirty toenails would.sick.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:43am
  • Mm you sound delicious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 10:11pm
  • I wish I could hit "Bad Night" more than once.......

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:52pm
  • gross! i hope this is fake...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:34pm
  • *shrugs shoulders* hmm I'd hit it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:26pm
  • Yuck, I'd hit bad night about 90 more times if it'd let me....but hey, any port in a storm

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 1:42am
  • Heat up your dictionary instead please

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:01pm
  • I hope you ran out of there as fast as you possibly could

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:54pm
  • .... It's called food. Try it.

    Submitted by ih8barney on Apr 25, 10 at 1:08am
  • fuck, i lost my appetite n i just heatd up sum taquitos

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 9:09pm
  • i do not chew on my fingernails, and i think that habit is not attractive to say the least, it wouldn't send me running out the door... but keeping toenail clippings for the express purpose to chew on is disturbing and probably a symptom of some psychological/emotional issues.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:05am
  • i just threw up in my mouth a little

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:52am
  • wow, what the fuck?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:24pm
  • How do I maked baby?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:31pm
  • ...that's a joke from a comedian

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 4:17pm
  • this made me vomit in my mouth a little. yuck.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:44pm
  • oh my fucking godd. thats a keeper.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 6:36pm
  • OMG :|

    Submitted by evantoman on Nov 4, 11 at 10:36am
  • hahahaha thats so gross

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:26pm
  • gag me thats disgusting

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:25pm
  • 1:44, 1:03, and 12:39: this whole things goin up on 4chan. let the \b\ashing \b\egin!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:21am
  • I puked

    Submitted by I_Win on Feb 21, 10 at 6:17pm
  • that is the nastiest shit ive ever heard in my life...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:51am
  • i want this to be fake but i dont think it is.... grody!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:03pm
  • Why toe nails? Wouldn't she just clip her fingernails and keep them in there to chew on? That's why I'm calling this fake.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:59pm
  • i just threw up a little in my mouth.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 10, 09 at 6:48pm
  • GAG, i almost just spit out my lunch

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:49pm
  • This really amuses me. Sickens me, but amuses me at the same time.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:49pm
  • ewww.... just.... ewwww! i think a small part of my soul just died

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:30pm
  • this is too gross to be true

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 12:10am
  • That guys lucky she didnt throw him in a pit and spray him with a hose when he didnt do what she told him to

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:32am
  • I really hope this wasn't a serious text

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:49pm
  • fuck that is disgusting...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:24pm
  • Makes me want to vomit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 21, 09 at 7:53pm
  • You've got to be kidding me! What a sick fuck! EWWWWWW

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:25pm
  • WHAT. THE. FUCK.

    Submitted by GrammarFailure on Apr 26, 10 at 10:55am
  • Shit that's fuxking sick

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 5:21pm
  • Oh... vom. This is even worse than all those awful menstrual texts...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:34pm
  • i really hope you RAN the fuck out of there and didn't put your dick in her.

    Submitted by jemarttt on Jul 4, 10 at 12:32am
  • HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE HUMANS

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 25, 10 at 4:45pm
  • 10:05 like you don't do something kind of gross ever. you people all must be perfect with no odd quirks at all. and by perfect i mean boring. i know i'm not the only person who likes to chew on fingernails. and please don't try to tell me that chewing on fingernails is just as gross as keeping a jar of crusty toenails to gnaw on later. at least mine are fresh and not left to fester in a jar. fuck that noise.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:48am
  • ewwww fuck that's wrong.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 1:26am
  • Run!

    Submitted by photorobert on Jun 2, 12 at 11:55am
  • Whatever floats the psychos boat

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 6, 09 at 9:18pm
  • 9:27....it is REALLY gross. Don't feel better, because that's fucking disgusting just like this text

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:05am
  • 12:21 Bring them here. The entertainment is always flowing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:33am
  • For foreplay, you can optionally chew her unclipped toenails while she chews her clipped toenails, and see who can get the most in their mouth fastest. You clearly have a disadvantage, therefore she must wear a blindfold and not know where the jar is.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:14pm
  • This is REPULSIVE!!! *VOMIT*

    Submitted by ArizonaJessika on Nov 9, 10 at 1:30am
  • that is the nastiest shit ever!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 6, 09 at 10:36am
  • She must like toe jam

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 1:29am
  • kay now thats just a little FUCKING disgusting

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 3:35am
  • 5:53 can kiss my golden brown ass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:50pm
  • WOOOOW GROSS AS FUCK!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:48pm
  • Fake. It was a CAN, not a jar.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:25pm
  • But she lapped your ass, didn't she?

    Submitted by RoffMain on Aug 20, 11 at 4:33pm
  • that's some of the nastiest shit I've ever heard...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 10:38pm
  • @ 2:56, Was it Jason?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 5:00pm
  • Does she also see sand people?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:25pm
  • on the upside, how likely is it that she's up for some crazy shit?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:48pm
  • ugh this is so gross, just goes to show you, if a girls hot enough to go home with..thers probabaly something a little off with her..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:27pm
  • absolutely revolting

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:17pm
  • I hope you ran. Run Forest, fucking run!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 9:33am
  • That's fucking disgusting.

    Submitted by gabby375 on Dec 12, 11 at 1:47am
  • Fake. Seriously TFLN, step your game up.

    Submitted by zachneedg2 on Feb 4, 11 at 2:11am
  • HAHAHAHa., falk;dsj Wow.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:57am
  • W. T. F. does she have a jar of semen next to it that she sips out of when she has no dick to suck?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:44am
  • we need to know who this person is cuz I sure as hell don't want to run into her somewhere in town

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:54pm
  • Grahm Norton was right. this is bad...

    Submitted by daylight on Feb 17, 12 at 5:43pm
  • 3:07 Redneck runs in the family no doubt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 7:41am
  • just fucking threw up, thanks. god.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:25pm
  • o m g ...i don't care if this is real or not., just the thought of that made me vomit a little

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:17am
  • That is hilarious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 30, 10 at 8:23pm
  • this is why i absolutely HATE people with dark skin colors.. i own 5 slavess!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:43pm
  • Reminds me of the giant jar of ZsaZsa Gabor nail clippings on SNL. Anyone remember that? Bueller?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:27pm
  • Totally knew a guy who did the SAME thing

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:56pm
  • 1:03 What do you mean? If there's 10 people how is she going to tell who the father is? That's what I want to know. I'm only 12 but I know she isn't married to any of them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:44am
  • At least you know she saves money by not having to get pedicures and is extremely flexible....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:18pm
  • MENTAL VOMIT wait, nevermind it's physical vomit now.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:22pm
  • NO FUCKING WAYY!!!! No way people are that weird

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:17pm
  • that's fucking disgusting

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:24pm
  • Did she get pregnant? How does she tell who the father is!?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:39am
  • That is fucking disgusting.

    Submitted by grey on Jul 8, 10 at 10:49am
  • e w w w w w w w w w w w w w w ! T h i s i s b e y o n d d i s g u s t i n g ! i j u s t t h r e w u p i n m y m o u t h .

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 2:31am
  • 3:00 i agree. what if.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:27pm
  • This is so fake...you got this from a commedian...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 9:47pm
  • that's sickkk!

    Submitted by yuppitsme_ on Sep 16, 10 at 1:21am
  • i don't keep toe nails in a jar next to my bed.. but i always must have at least one fingernail in my mouth in order to fall asleep. i thought that was kind of gross but this text made me feel better : )

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 9:27am
  • I'm both fucking disgusted and impressed with her powers of foresight. Always be prepared.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:57pm
  • LOL... I had a friend who used to keep old fingernails in an altoids box to chew on. His grandma made him start it so he would stop chewing his nails and just chew on those. He said he quit but he still keeps it on him just in case he relapses. It's pretty sick

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 6:08pm
  • WTF.

    Submitted by firefly28 on Jul 22, 11 at 10:12pm
  • EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    Submitted by IDKWTFTE94 on Aug 10, 10 at 5:52pm
  • Just die

    Submitted by logic on Aug 8, 10 at 12:31pm
  • Oh goddamn! WHAT THE FUCK!? ...let's HOPE this shit is fake!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:36pm
  • FTW 6:42. other than that i really want this to be a fake text.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:19pm
  • omfg @12:39 are you fucking serious? i hope you're not or else you need to be hit upside the head with some really blunt object.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:03am
  • I think I just vomitted a little... That's probably the WORST habit ever. Or close to it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:47pm
  • Ewww

    Submitted by delani on Jul 11, 11 at 1:44pm
  • holy fuck, runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 4:14pm
  • I did the sane thing to my cat

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 13, 10 at 5:48pm
  • So, did he just fuck her, or was he unfortunate enough to have kissed her before hand?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:00pm
  • thats terrible, disgusting, and wrong.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:04pm
  • I bet if u knock it over she will shank u and eat ur nails

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 9:15am
  • She sounds like a pretty cool guy ehs doesn't afraid of toe-nail clippings. Pro tip: Cut your nails using an open DVD case as the shield. I find it makes cleaning up a breeze!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:18pm