got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
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That's nice, ohh and umm I am the president, ur not a fucking cop
The sad thing is you guys actually care if it's real or not. No livesssss.
Lol. This could easily be true. I'm a cop. Seen this before. Well close to it
Your so lucky u didn't get shot...
This shit was in a movie!
Fail. You douche. Move on to another lie.
Can I get this put on a coffee mug?
I'm guessing that's fake
sounds more like breaking and entertaining to me
I was watching in court a couple of weeks ago and someone was charged with entering aa house when drunk that wasn't his, and was found pissing in the bathroom. This could well be true.
Tried jerking off?
This WAS on FML, wasnt it?
if this is real, this is the wrong site for it.
How can you make a sandwich without realizing you're in the wrong house?
lots and lots of alcohol
That is epic. Epic stupidity, but still epic.
Best Day EVER!
with the "quotes" like that maybe he was drunk and at an ex's house!!! he'd know where all the food and toys are!
This is an f my life story
i know ppl have probably said it but this should be on fml not here
Sounds like you've got a lot going for you. :D
BS u wouldn't get out the next night on a B
Sandwich maybe. Figuring out how to work someone else's TV, finding porn, and locating lotion or lube to jerk off... all without figuring out it's not ur house?? Riiiiiiight.
Do you really think anyone will believe this you stupid fuck?
Haha, that sucks!
Yeah... it may be time to quit getting trashed.
12:40... I don't... I only care if they r funny or not
Bet the night was totally worth it!!!
This was on FML...
Do people really care about the validity of these texts??
At least they didn't taze "it" for fun.
that sucks. have a nice day!
Mabey you should have checked to make sure it was ur house BEFORE you did that
maybe it was an ex-girlfriends house. . . . the "quotes" are a bit odd
Some randomguywas wacking it in my cabin so we scared the shit out of him
yeah! this happened to my friend once! he went into the wrong house when he was drunk looking for one of our friends and sat down at the kitchen table!
Your life sucks
God I miss charleston, lol
if this is true tfln is gettin some heavy shit
haha that sucks its in your area code 1227
I don't even believe thts u area code
This could definitely be true.
Might've been believable until the last line...
Even better if you were jerking off and making a sandwich at the same time..... Now there's talent
Lame. Sad for you. If u wanted people tp like you, you had to add a walk of shame in there somewhere with adderol an fall asleep during a blow job.
About 6 months ago a guy walked into my house slaughtered drunk at 3 am, ripped open some bread and ate it, then passed out in the hallway. So yeah this could happen.
Wow many of the posters have obviously been drunk enough yet in their little lives. The point is he was so wasted he couldn't tell his ass from his elbow. I know of several people I know have done this shit. How the Frick did Robert Downy Jr wind up in someone's house, sleeping in a toddler bed!
free sandwich/porn + jerking off I'd say good night
Wow people are stupid! That's the only reason this is fun is it's dumb shit that people have ACTUALLY done! I could sit around and make shit like this up all day, I wanna hear shit that people actually do, not make up in there spare time!
I'm pretty sure this should be on FML not TFLN.
Not gonna lie, This happened to me. Was piss drunk and went into the wrong house and crashed out on the couch. Class 2 felony in my state.
That's what ya get for being a retard
Who the fick cares if it's real or not that's not the point it's just supposed to be funny
It sucks to be you.
Could of been drunk!
A lot of these are probably fake, but this one didn't even try.
So all-in-all a good night? You got a sammich and pulled on your dick. Later you hopefully got prison raped for putting lame fake txts on tfln.
Fake or not, still funny. If it is real I would want to know what that coke was cut with.
I guy at my work did this last year in the (603)... He got drunk and walked "home" only to awake to a woman screaming and the cops showing up shortly after. He had raided the fridge and was watching tv... He wasn't playing with himself but none the less he was charged with B&E...
this would happen in my area code.
Even if this is made up it's still hilarious. Haha classic.
Yes!! I'm not the only person who makes sandwiches in other peoples houses, that I do not know
Also you wouldn't get breaking and entering. If somebody is home then it is Home Invasion and that my friend is a class X felony
Duse shut the fuck up, it's funny. who cares if it's real or not. soo shut up your ruining the funn. bye:)
You sir, suck at life.
Happens to me all the time...
Not funny. Really stupid.
Do all you people just sit around arguing over if this shit is fake or not? Find a real hobby.. Or a job? I just look at the posts for fun who gives a shi tif it's fake. Stop taking all the fun out of things.. Geez!
Yeah I'm with 12.29 on this. One or two details fine but not ALL of them. But maybe he had a wank with the butter/mayo used for the sandwich.
surely you'd realise different tv and remote. Assuming that the furniture for the whole place is layed out EXACTLY like your house and similar colours
Put this on FML you dumbass.
Massive fail. I don't believe it for a second.
My buddy walked into somebodys house slept on their couch and woke up to a guy with a shotgun in his face about to go to church. At ISU (IL State) a kid on his 21st bday did the same thing but was shot and killed or the guy had a heart attack I can't remember..otherwise this is still fake as hell
Of course it's fabricated. I expected to see FML. I think this person mixed ip the sites.
this is totally tragic
Why does this sound familiar? I wonder...
Sounds like u deserved everything you got
Wow I feel bad for u lolll
Neither the sammich nor the porn was free if this is real. He now has a felony arrest to deal with.