Texts From Last Night · zero666's Favorites

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zero666's Favorites Texts:

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(713): View more from Texas

MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill

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(702): View more from Nevada

the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless

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(+61): View more from Australia

Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.

(314): View more from Missouri

Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.

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