Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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