Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
