I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
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Or put it in your ass...solves one problem and makes the other more entertaining for your audience.
What is "put it in your mouth"? Solves both problems.
Bite the ends off and drink cocktails through them till melted and repeat!
The only good thing about this text is porksword's comment. Otherwise, this text is a double shot of epic fail with a "confused as to how not knowing how to eat Twizzlers and going to wedding reception suggests potential bad parenting" chaser