When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
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God's a busy being. Cock blocking you, sending a guy on a killing spree in Norway, starving millions, etc. He/she will be with you shortly to get you laid. BTW, the 72 virgins are still available for a small task on your part.
No, you're just a douche who never had a chance in the first place.