This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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