Texts From Last Night · egonymph's Favorites

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egonymph's Favorites Texts:

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(207): View more from Maine

I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.

Fav 14 1349 3426
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(540): View more from Virginia

Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis

Fav 13 3672 1066
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(317): View more from Indiana

Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.

Fav 21 7180 1496
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(209): View more from California

I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.

Fav 29 1652 2999
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever

Fav 3 1280 2664
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(334): View more from Alabama

He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.

Fav 8 1731 4161
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(630): View more from Illinois

she could've warned me his penis was curved

(708): View more from Illinois

ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

Fav 14 2016 5020
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"

Fav 7 2521 1536
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