Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
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