Have some text gold?

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  • the onion had a pretty good headline: Steinbrenner fires his heart

    Submitted by chw63 on Jul 13, 10 at 7:27pm
  • What makes you think that he's in Heaven?

    Submitted by whiteknave on Jul 13, 10 at 5:12pm
  • if God was really a Sox fan, would he let them go on an 86 year drought? i've heard of tough love, but thas goin too far

    Submitted by BruGz on Jul 13, 10 at 6:28pm
  • you know he's gonna try to fire St. Peter from the front gates if he's kept waiting to long...

    Submitted by jasboo on Jul 13, 10 at 5:00pm
  • THE BOSS.

    Submitted by AmishRobot on Jul 13, 10 at 5:27pm
  • i'm confused, who's that?

    Submitted by ilikeyourbeard11 on Jul 13, 10 at 10:19pm
  • A lot of these aren't even actual texts. Just people with clever ideas. I bet only like one fourth of these are actual received texts.

    Submitted by 110340 on Jul 13, 10 at 4:58pm
    • Yet here you are, reading them and then bitching about them.

      Submitted by RazzleRack on Jul 14, 10 at 12:44am
  • Zombie worshiper.

    Submitted by Ninjavitis on Jul 14, 10 at 5:04pm
  • I lol'd

    Submitted by dawninbloom on Jul 14, 10 at 1:26pm
  • Yeah...this was on Twitter early this morning. So congrats for posting someone else's cleverness as your own.

    Submitted by hjifg on Jul 13, 10 at 6:27pm
    • who says that he wasn't the one who posted it on twitter?

      Submitted by Xander03 on Jul 13, 10 at 7:55pm
  • @dilorenzo: let me translate what anonymous is trying to say, since you seem to be a tad slow: what whiteknave meant was that he might rather be in hell than in heaven. d'uh. now go sit in a corner and never dare to speak again.

    Submitted by daynalareyna on Jul 13, 10 at 8:36pm
  • @dilorenzo, you're fucking retarded.

    Submitted by anonmyous on Jul 13, 10 at 8:01pm
  • hahahahahaha epic.

    Submitted by kaitlinmohr on Jul 13, 10 at 4:52pm
  • Just like you know where.....

    Submitted by Fireproof on Jul 14, 10 at 12:15am
  • @memyself: Actually, historically Jesus was a very real person. As to whether or not you believe he is the savior for mankind is a different topic all together. How about forming a brain before you fucking speak again, you imbecile. K, thanks.

    Submitted by jelloskin09 on Jul 14, 10 at 4:03am
  • Ahahahahahahahaha fuck yuuuu wwhhale

    Submitted by nimh on Jul 16, 10 at 12:18am
  • Steinbrenner definitely isn't in heaven. And Jesus isn't anyones bitch.

    Submitted by mycoolname on Jul 14, 10 at 12:43pm
  • Latest News: Steinbrenner just bought out the angels...

    Submitted by sweetteammm on Jul 16, 10 at 10:05pm
  • Hope he buzzes

    Submitted by awesomesaucechk on Jul 13, 10 at 4:17pm
  • Let's hope they don't do to him , what they did to Ted Williams ....

    Submitted by bankachic on Jul 13, 10 at 4:59pm
  • Steinbrenner's a dick, just like the rest of the Yankees!

    Submitted by guberjr on Jul 13, 10 at 9:50pm
  • This made me lol

    Submitted by thohug on Jul 13, 10 at 5:30pm
  • God is a red sox fan, sorry

    Submitted by hockeybabe on Jul 13, 10 at 5:26pm
  • these pretzels are making me Firsty

    Submitted by firsty on Jul 13, 10 at 9:41pm
  • Don't lie no way is that guy getting into heaven

    Submitted by stepdog on Jul 13, 10 at 5:11pm
  • @whiteknave. He died of a heart attack this morning you fuckwit.

    Submitted by dilorenzo on Jul 13, 10 at 7:27pm
  • If Jesus were real =)

    Submitted by memyself on Jul 13, 10 at 6:20pm
  • Either that or he will fire the whole Holy Trinity and then rehire them next Holy season.

    Submitted by callmescout on Jul 14, 10 at 4:14am
  • oh, it's "anonmyous"... hehe. well, i hope dilorenzo still gets it. although...

    Submitted by daynalareyna on Jul 13, 10 at 8:38pm
  • This monkey's gone to heaven

    Submitted by Vintageboyy on Jul 13, 10 at 7:22pm
  • @dayfag. Go fuck yourself. Comprende?

    Submitted by dilorenzo on Jul 13, 10 at 8:45pm
  • Not even remotely funny, fucking dumb

    Submitted by Danny66 on Jul 13, 10 at 5:24pm
  • That is fucking genius.

    Submitted by lifesavergrl on Jul 14, 10 at 3:21am