i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Actions speak louder than pants.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
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