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  • Submitted by Saibot on Dec 5, 10 at 1:28pm

    But this isn't a lake, and I'm not a duck. So pass me the bottle and stfu. =]

  • Submitted by stufflikepeace on Dec 5, 10 at 1:34pm

    if water was vodka and i was a duck id swim to the bottom and never come up but waters not vodka and i'm not a duck so give me the bottle and shut the fuck up

  • Submitted by mmmboy_80085 on Dec 5, 10 at 6:00pm

    Dr. Seuss?

  • Submitted by soko on Dec 5, 10 at 2:17pm

    Just give me the vodka.

  • Submitted by RoRo4324 on Dec 9, 10 at 10:15pm

    If the river was whiskey by TC Boyle??

  • Submitted by jltc on Dec 5, 10 at 2:52pm

    congratulations on getting the subjunctive right!

    • Submitted by moho on Dec 5, 10 at 3:12pm

      actually, they didn't. if it were correct, it would say "if water were vodka"\n\ni'm not a pretentious ass, really, i'm just saying

      • Submitted by quwoosh on Dec 5, 10 at 7:46pm

        actually, the subjunctive part was correct. you didn't correct the subjunctive, you just changed what they were talking about from "this" to "water" and "a lake full of vodka" to just "vodka".

  • Submitted by shitjustgotreal on Dec 5, 10 at 1:21pm

    a fucking poet!

  • 96 95
    Submitted by nerdout270 on Dec 6, 10 at 5:05am

    and I'd lit a match and blow you the fuck up.

  • Submitted by exoduster on Dec 7, 10 at 2:07am

    Why do you have to be a duck?

  • Submitted by stnrgrlk46290 on Feb 25, 11 at 3:28am

    I heard this in a diff way like 9 years ago

  • Submitted by tizzy on Dec 6, 10 at 12:01pm

    Half of these texts are actually quotes from a website called

    • Submitted by lenszy on Dec 6, 10 at 12:21pm

      this one isnt you hater