Texts From Last Night · Arpho's Favorites

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Arpho's Favorites Texts:

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I see more hoeing in ur future

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(813): View more from Florida

Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

What the hell was that?

(251): View more from Alabama

Genius. It was sheer genius.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Dude, running 15 min late.

(1-636): View more from Missouri

Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.

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(813): View more from Florida

Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.

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(727): View more from Florida

I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.

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(253): View more from Washington

You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.

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