You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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