Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
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