I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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