Texts From Last Night · aTastyCookie's Favorites

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aTastyCookie's Favorites Texts:

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(443): View more from Maryland

and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.

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(708): View more from Illinois

youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer

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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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(909): View more from California

The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."

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(916): View more from California

I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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(352): View more from Florida

She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"

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(256): View more from Alabama

I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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