The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
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