Texts From Last Night · dessystray's Favorites

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dessystray's Favorites Texts:

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(954): View more from Florida

i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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(330): View more from Ohio

would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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(614): View more from Ohio

Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?

(720): View more from Colorado

This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?

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(613): View more from Ontario

Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"

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