Have some text gold?

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  • not original. it's from cyanide and happiness. fail. nice try though.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:43pm
  • Haha suicide survivor? You can't succeed at anything can you?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 29, 09 at 12:23pm
  • if someone reads your suicide note pre-death you're not gonna kill yourself, and you just want attention.... in other words you are a pussy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:47pm
  • What's really beautiful in the religion of the Inuits, the Heavenish afterlife, Quidlivun, gives those who had especially hard lives, but suffered their pain nobly, were specially rewarded. "God stood idly by why you dealt with your hardship the only way you could bear, suicide, then punished you further." Is that Christianity's line? What a cruel mythology it is.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 12:03am
    • Truth. Basially, though, it's just to keep people from killing themselves the minute they find out about heaven - who the fuck would want to live here if they were certain Heaven existed and they could get to it with a single round?

      Submitted by exosus on Aug 26, 11 at 8:37pm
  • Want to know what's selfish about suicide? The people left behind who call it selfish.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:30pm
    • Could not be more true. Those people can eat a mile of dicks.

      Submitted by exosus on Aug 26, 11 at 8:35pm
  • My friend Casey shot herself four years ago, so I want to say that suicide isn't for emo freaks or attention. But I still laughed at this text.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:55pm
  • First of all, it would be you're here, and secondly I never claimed to be religious.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 12:56am
  • It's not selfish. When I visited a friend after she nearly succeeded hanging herself, she was really embarassed and in tears and said she thought she wasn't good to be around people, her problems were too much and they got upset when she couldn't just snap out of it. She thought killing herself was a favor. That nobody would have to put up with her anymore and she wouldn't have to struggle against her own mind. It's not intended to be selfish, though that's often the result.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 4:13pm
  • FUCK YOU my aunt shot herself and we heard the same damn thing about statistics.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:02pm
  • Girls actually don't usually shoot themselves. The selfish part is leaving your family behind. Having your family have to deal with you killing yourself. It is BS. A permenant solution to a temporary problem. People who kill themselves are selfish.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:42pm
  • it seriously kills me that tightass Jesus freaks show up on this site and get so infuriated with these texts. for one, what the fuck were you expecting? for two, get a grip they're all madeup by some 14 year old loser who never goes out

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 7:31pm
  • I don't believe in god or the afterlife or suicide. Nothingness is inevitable, so why rush it?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 6:41am
  • Theyres nothing wrong with suicied. God doesn't exist. There you go. End of story.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 10:41pm
  • The rationale behind it is that guys are more suspectible to guns because they made up their mind and know that will get it done. Too many times girls are generally seen to do it for attention(slitting the wrists the wrong way and not nearly deep enough, ODing on pain meds...etc) A girl that has made up her mind to do it is just as prone to use a gun as a guy. The fakers are the ones that created that connotation.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:16pm
  • Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 8, 09 at 8:25am
  • yeah almost lost my friend to suicide, she didn't leave a note, didn't tell anyone anything, she was just found half alive and saved and got help. It wasn't for attention. So fuck whoever makes fun of that shit. But that text was still pretty funny. If it was real.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:08pm
  • if you didn't do anything to help a person who kills themselves, not even by offering a shoulder to cry on or a happy distraction, you're not allowed to call it selfish.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:42pm
  • How would any of you feel like this if you lost someone to suicide. Clearly most of you haven't so I don't think any of you are in the position to judge some one who chose to do this or the families left behind

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 4:45am
  • Just load the gun for them and walk away

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 11:29pm
  • 12:48 good call i knew I had seen it recently, couldn't figure out where

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 3:04pm
  • Suicide is way too final to be over not getting hugged enough.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:52pm
  • Sorry, should've said I went to school in two diff states...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:33pm
  • death before dishonor but suicide is dishonor hmmmmm

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 7, 09 at 5:14pm
  • this is soooo funny! lmao! ...sad, but funny.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 2:11am
  • Fake shit stolen from cyanide and happiness. Gtfo

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 10:06pm
  • my mother shot herself. of course, she was bat shit insane.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 1:30am
  • i had a friend shot herself 3 months ago....wish she would have left a note.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:59pm
  • People who kills themselves are sick and desperate and you're selfish to judge them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:01pm
  • pushing the suicide along?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:41pm
  • yea and you called the suicide hotline and they put you on hold. it all makes for good standup............ until it really happens

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 6:16pm
  • this is from a cartoon on explosm.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:48pm
  • I went to high school in two different states. At the one in Texas, an eighth grade girl shot herself in an empty restroom. They said "girls don't usually shoot themselves." At the one in Ohio, a girl hung herself. They said "girls don't usually hang themselves." Now, I'm a guy and it looks to me like you don't go on about how people should have killed themselves differently once they already suicided.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:32pm
  • What's funny about suicide is that most of them don't even succeed.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:42pm
  • Don't call suicide selfiish. Being born doesn't obligate you to anyone else. Sure, your family and friends will probably suffer with your death, but it isn't selfish to want some control over how and when you die. With that said, hopefully anyone contemplating suicide can recall the things that make it worth holding onto life and enduring the pain.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 4:29pm
  • Was 'worthless' referring to the reader or the writer

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 5:05am
  • Hahahaha!! That's hilarious! :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 19, 09 at 10:24am
  • lol. it would have been longer if you spelled worthless correctly the first time. \nbad night

    Submitted by tracyrules09 on Jul 6, 13 at 9:55pm
  • I bet the text is real, but was sent as a joke.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 4:33pm
  • I ABout pissed my pants

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 22, 09 at 1:19pm
  • stolen. thats selfish just like suicide

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 11:02pm
  • 2:16, 4:27, yea, and also women tend to think of what will happen when people discover them, and women generally don't want to be found in a pool of blood or with rope marks so od-ing is clean and they can fall asleep peacefully and not look as horrid

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 5:27pm
  • 2:18, I agree. 2:28 your dad was a different situation. He was sick and nothing could be done and you all knew. It is different when someone just decides to kill themself because they haven't been hugged enough and they think their life is shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:40pm
  • oh yeah 1:08? if she really wanted to kill herself she would have jumped off a bridge or a tall building. and she didnt do it again (i assume) sooooooo....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:17pm
  • You spelled "your" wrong. Kill yourself.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 12:13am
  • Suicide is selfish. Wow, chicks usually don't shoot themselves. I thought it was funny, push the person a little more and maybe they will actually do it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:16pm
  • Stop having theological discussions on every post! It really gets annoying! And if you really are religious do you seriously think that this is the type of website that you should be viewing? It doesn't exactly seem like this website is going to help you in your relationship with Christ, just saying.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 12:35am
  • It's true that girls don't usually shoot themselves. Statistics show that girls are more likely to think of the people who will find them and the clean-up involved, so they slit their wrists in the tub, take pills, or hang themselves. Shooting yourself is messy, and guys (statistically) don't think that far ahead.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 4:27pm
  • that is absolutely horrible. i am deeply dissapointed in anyone who is laughing at this. i am a suicide survivor and have made a great life impact since my attempt. whether it was a fake note or not. this is cruel to laugh at.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 28, 09 at 2:23pm
  • best tfln i've ever seen. hands down

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:42pm
  • it's not selfish. you can't judge something like that unless you've been in that position.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:45pm
  • 2:45 I've been in that position. It's very selfish.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 3:33pm
  • Get a life. This text was in a Cyanide & Happiness cartoon a while back and in this setting its not even funny-its not a believable text. I dont mind if they're fake, but they can't be so obviously fake they're not funny.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:20pm
  • Suicide is for emo freaks. Get a life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:46pm
  • How would any of you feel if you lost someone to suicide. Clearly most of you haven't so I don't think any of you are in the position to judge some one who chose to do this or the families left behind

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 4:36am
  • This was stolen from Cyanide and Happiness

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 5:50pm
  • Suicide is the last resort of cowards that can't handle hardship in life. It doesn't take courage to do it, only a whiny baby that can't push on and treats their problems like they are the only person that has ever been there. Fuck them. They were worthless and now they are gone. That's a good thing for the rest of society.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 3:44pm
  • wow this is almost like the onion article - where a suicide note was critiqued and spell-checked. FAKE

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:03pm
  • Suicide is weak, selfish, and pitiful. And this text is shitting-pants funny.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:18pm
  • Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and those of you that do joke about it, should seriously take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and recognize your own flaws. Yes, I agree this text Is fake, but what about the impressionable youth out there that reads this and starts seeing the responses that say suicide is okay? Think before you post thins.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 2:45am
  • Suicide is not funny. But this text is hysterical.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:46pm
  • just added it to my favorite!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 10:46pm
  • FAKE. See - Cyanide and Happiness.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 11:09pm
  • There is a God. Suicide is a sin. It may be a huge struggle but it doesn't matter who you are, there is someone out there who wants to help you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 7:47pm
  • hahahahahahaha 12:23 is fuckin BOSS STATUS!!. u made my day hah ur a champ

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:29pm