You must be Logged in to post a comment

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:43pm

    not original. it's from cyanide and happiness. fail. nice try though.

  • 84 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:47pm

    if someone reads your suicide note pre-death you're not gonna kill yourself, and you just want attention.... in other words you are a pussy

  • 80 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 29, 09 at 12:23pm

    Haha suicide survivor? You can't succeed at anything can you?

  • 83 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:55pm

    My friend Casey shot herself four years ago, so I want to say that suicide isn't for emo freaks or attention. But I still laughed at this text.

  • 81 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 10:41pm

    Theyres nothing wrong with suicied. God doesn't exist. There you go. End of story.

  • 73 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:08pm

    yeah almost lost my friend to suicide, she didn't leave a note, didn't tell anyone anything, she was just found half alive and saved and got help. It wasn't for attention. So fuck whoever makes fun of that shit. But that text was still pretty funny. If it was real.

  • 63 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 12:03am

    What's really beautiful in the religion of the Inuits, the Heavenish afterlife, Quidlivun, gives those who had especially hard lives, but suffered their pain nobly, were specially rewarded. "God stood idly by why you dealt with your hardship the only way you could bear, suicide, then punished you further." Is that Christianity's line? What a cruel mythology it is.

    • 26 48
      Submitted by exosus on Aug 26, 11 at 8:37pm

      Truth. Basially, though, it's just to keep people from killing themselves the minute they find out about heaven - who the fuck would want to live here if they were certain Heaven existed and they could get to it with a single round?

  • 72 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:30pm

    Want to know what's selfish about suicide? The people left behind who call it selfish.

    • 31 44
      Submitted by exosus on Aug 26, 11 at 8:35pm

      Could not be more true. Those people can eat a mile of dicks.

  • 62 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 4:13pm

    It's not selfish. When I visited a friend after she nearly succeeded hanging herself, she was really embarassed and in tears and said she thought she wasn't good to be around people, her problems were too much and they got upset when she couldn't just snap out of it. She thought killing herself was a favor. That nobody would have to put up with her anymore and she wouldn't have to struggle against her own mind. It's not intended to be selfish, though that's often the result.

  • 63 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:20pm

    Get a life. This text was in a Cyanide & Happiness cartoon a while back and in this setting its not even funny-its not a believable text. I dont mind if they're fake, but they can't be so obviously fake they're not funny.

  • 65 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:16pm

    The rationale behind it is that guys are more suspectible to guns because they made up their mind and know that will get it done. Too many times girls are generally seen to do it for attention(slitting the wrists the wrong way and not nearly deep enough, ODing on pain meds...etc) A girl that has made up her mind to do it is just as prone to use a gun as a guy. The fakers are the ones that created that connotation.

  • 63 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:02pm

    FUCK YOU my aunt shot herself and we heard the same damn thing about statistics.

  • 67 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:42pm

    Girls actually don't usually shoot themselves. The selfish part is leaving your family behind. Having your family have to deal with you killing yourself. It is BS. A permenant solution to a temporary problem. People who kill themselves are selfish.

  • 63 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 12:56am

    First of all, it would be you're here, and secondly I never claimed to be religious.

  • 66 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:32pm

    I went to high school in two different states. At the one in Texas, an eighth grade girl shot herself in an empty restroom. They said "girls don't usually shoot themselves." At the one in Ohio, a girl hung herself. They said "girls don't usually hang themselves." Now, I'm a guy and it looks to me like you don't go on about how people should have killed themselves differently once they already suicided.

  • 68 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:59pm

    i had a friend shot herself 3 months ago....wish she would have left a note.

  • 60 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 6:41am

    I don't believe in god or the afterlife or suicide. Nothingness is inevitable, so why rush it?

  • 54 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:33pm

    Sorry, should've said I went to school in two diff states...

  • 61 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 4:45am

    How would any of you feel like this if you lost someone to suicide. Clearly most of you haven't so I don't think any of you are in the position to judge some one who chose to do this or the families left behind

  • 57 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 3:04pm

    12:48 good call i knew I had seen it recently, couldn't figure out where

  • 53 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 1:30am

    my mother shot herself. of course, she was bat shit insane.

  • 59 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 2:11am

    this is soooo funny! lmao! ...sad, but funny.

  • 47 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 11:29pm

    Just load the gun for them and walk away

  • 51 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 4:33pm

    I bet the text is real, but was sent as a joke.

  • 53 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:48pm

    this is from a cartoon on explosm.

  • 53 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:41pm

    pushing the suicide along?

  • 48 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 8, 09 at 8:25am

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • 52 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 7:31pm

    it seriously kills me that tightass Jesus freaks show up on this site and get so infuriated with these texts. for one, what the fuck were you expecting? for two, get a grip they're all madeup by some 14 year old loser who never goes out

  • 48 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 5:05am

    Was 'worthless' referring to the reader or the writer

  • 54 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 12:35am

    Stop having theological discussions on every post! It really gets annoying! And if you really are religious do you seriously think that this is the type of website that you should be viewing? It doesn't exactly seem like this website is going to help you in your relationship with Christ, just saying.

  • 52 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 3:33pm

    2:45 I've been in that position. It's very selfish.

  • 54 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:52pm

    Suicide is way too final to be over not getting hugged enough.

  • 54 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 2:45am

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and those of you that do joke about it, should seriously take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and recognize your own flaws. Yes, I agree this text Is fake, but what about the impressionable youth out there that reads this and starts seeing the responses that say suicide is okay? Think before you post thins.

    • 39 43
      Submitted by exosus on Aug 26, 11 at 8:38pm

      and not a single fuck was given that day.

  • 57 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:42pm

    best tfln i've ever seen. hands down

  • 54 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 12:13am

    You spelled "your" wrong. Kill yourself.

  • 46 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 7, 09 at 5:14pm

    death before dishonor but suicide is dishonor hmmmmm

  • 55 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 5:27pm

    2:16, 4:27, yea, and also women tend to think of what will happen when people discover them, and women generally don't want to be found in a pool of blood or with rope marks so od-ing is clean and they can fall asleep peacefully and not look as horrid

  • 52 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:40pm

    2:18, I agree. 2:28 your dad was a different situation. He was sick and nothing could be done and you all knew. It is different when someone just decides to kill themself because they haven't been hugged enough and they think their life is shit.

  • 46 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 6:16pm

    yea and you called the suicide hotline and they put you on hold. it all makes for good standup............ until it really happens

  • 50 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 4:29pm

    Don't call suicide selfiish. Being born doesn't obligate you to anyone else. Sure, your family and friends will probably suffer with your death, but it isn't selfish to want some control over how and when you die. With that said, hopefully anyone contemplating suicide can recall the things that make it worth holding onto life and enduring the pain.

  • 54 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:42pm

    if you didn't do anything to help a person who kills themselves, not even by offering a shoulder to cry on or a happy distraction, you're not allowed to call it selfish.

  • 43 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 22, 09 at 1:19pm

    I ABout pissed my pants

  • 51 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:01pm

    People who kills themselves are sick and desperate and you're selfish to judge them.

  • 42 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 10:06pm

    Fake shit stolen from cyanide and happiness. Gtfo

  • 47 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 19, 09 at 10:24am

    Hahahaha!! That's hilarious! :)

  • 49 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 11:02pm

    stolen. thats selfish just like suicide

  • 56 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 5:50pm

    This was stolen from Cyanide and Happiness

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:46pm

    Suicide is for emo freaks. Get a life.

  • 50 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:46pm

    Suicide is not funny. But this text is hysterical.

  • 16 15
    Submitted by tracyrules09 on Jul 6, 13 at 9:55pm

    lol. it would have been longer if you spelled worthless correctly the first time. \nbad night

  • 50 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:45pm

    it's not selfish. you can't judge something like that unless you've been in that position.

  • 51 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 12:42pm

    What's funny about suicide is that most of them don't even succeed.

  • 40 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 17, 09 at 4:36am

    How would any of you feel if you lost someone to suicide. Clearly most of you haven't so I don't think any of you are in the position to judge some one who chose to do this or the families left behind

  • 41 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:29pm

    hahahahahahaha 12:23 is fuckin BOSS STATUS!!. u made my day hah ur a champ

  • 52 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:16pm

    Suicide is selfish. Wow, chicks usually don't shoot themselves. I thought it was funny, push the person a little more and maybe they will actually do it.

  • 46 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 10:46pm

    just added it to my favorite!

  • 46 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 4:27pm

    It's true that girls don't usually shoot themselves. Statistics show that girls are more likely to think of the people who will find them and the clean-up involved, so they slit their wrists in the tub, take pills, or hang themselves. Shooting yourself is messy, and guys (statistically) don't think that far ahead.

  • 43 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 1:17pm

    oh yeah 1:08? if she really wanted to kill herself she would have jumped off a bridge or a tall building. and she didnt do it again (i assume) sooooooo....

  • 43 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 28, 09 at 2:23pm

    that is absolutely horrible. i am deeply dissapointed in anyone who is laughing at this. i am a suicide survivor and have made a great life impact since my attempt. whether it was a fake note or not. this is cruel to laugh at.

  • 45 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 11:09pm

    FAKE. See - Cyanide and Happiness.

  • 43 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 3:44pm

    Suicide is the last resort of cowards that can't handle hardship in life. It doesn't take courage to do it, only a whiny baby that can't push on and treats their problems like they are the only person that has ever been there. Fuck them. They were worthless and now they are gone. That's a good thing for the rest of society.

  • 41 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:18pm

    Suicide is weak, selfish, and pitiful. And this text is shitting-pants funny.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 7:47pm

    There is a God. Suicide is a sin. It may be a huge struggle but it doesn't matter who you are, there is someone out there who wants to help you.

  • 35 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 2:03pm

    wow this is almost like the onion article - where a suicide note was critiqued and spell-checked. FAKE