Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
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not original. it's from cyanide and happiness. fail. nice try though.
Haha suicide survivor? You can't succeed at anything can you?
if someone reads your suicide note pre-death you're not gonna kill yourself, and you just want attention.... in other words you are a pussy
What's really beautiful in the religion of the Inuits, the Heavenish afterlife, Quidlivun, gives those who had especially hard lives, but suffered their pain nobly, were specially rewarded.
"God stood idly by why you dealt with your hardship the only way you could bear, suicide, then punished you further." Is that Christianity's line? What a cruel mythology it is.
Truth. Basially, though, it's just to keep people from killing themselves the minute they find out about heaven - who the fuck would want to live here if they were certain Heaven existed and they could get to it with a single round?
Want to know what's selfish about suicide? The people left behind who call it selfish.
Could not be more true. Those people can eat a mile of dicks.
My friend Casey shot herself four years ago, so I want to say that suicide isn't for emo freaks or attention. But I still laughed at this text.
First of all, it would be you're here, and secondly I never claimed to be religious.
It's not selfish. When I visited a friend after she nearly succeeded hanging herself, she was really embarassed and in tears and said she thought she wasn't good to be around people, her problems were too much and they got upset when she couldn't just snap out of it.
She thought killing herself was a favor. That nobody would have to put up with her anymore and she wouldn't have to struggle against her own mind.
It's not intended to be selfish, though that's often the result.
Girls actually don't usually shoot themselves.
The selfish part is leaving your family behind. Having your family have to deal with you killing yourself. It is BS. A permenant solution to a temporary problem. People who kill themselves are selfish.
it seriously kills me that tightass Jesus freaks show up on this site and get so infuriated with these texts. for one, what the fuck were you expecting? for two, get a grip they're all madeup by some 14 year old loser who never goes out
FUCK YOU my aunt shot herself and we heard the same damn thing about statistics.
Theyres nothing wrong with suicied. God doesn't exist. There you go. End of story.
The rationale behind it is that guys are more suspectible to guns because they made up their mind and know that will get it done. Too many times girls are generally seen to do it for attention(slitting the wrists the wrong way and not nearly deep enough, ODing on pain meds...etc) A girl that has made up her mind to do it is just as prone to use a gun as a guy. The fakers are the ones that created that connotation.
I don't believe in god or the afterlife or suicide. Nothingness is inevitable, so why rush it?
if you didn't do anything to help a person who kills themselves, not even by offering a shoulder to cry on or a happy distraction, you're not allowed to call it selfish.
yeah almost lost my friend to suicide, she didn't leave a note, didn't tell anyone anything, she was just found half alive and saved and got help. It wasn't for attention. So fuck whoever makes fun of that shit. But that text was still pretty funny. If it was real.
How would any of you feel like this if you lost someone to suicide. Clearly most of you haven't so I don't think any of you are in the position to judge some one who chose to do this or the families left behind
Just load the gun for them and walk away
12:48 good call i knew I had seen it recently, couldn't figure out where
Suicide is way too final to be over not getting hugged enough.
death before dishonor
but suicide is dishonor
this is soooo funny! lmao! ...sad, but funny.
Sorry, should've said I went to school in two diff states...
my mother shot herself. of course, she was bat shit insane.
People who kills themselves are sick and desperate and you're selfish to judge them.
Fake shit stolen from cyanide and happiness. Gtfo
i had a friend shot herself 3 months ago....wish she would have left a note.
yea and you called the suicide hotline and they put you on hold. it all makes for good standup............ until it really happens
this is from a cartoon on explosm.
pushing the suicide along?
Was 'worthless' referring to the reader or the writer
I went to high school in two different states. At the one in Texas, an eighth grade girl shot herself in an empty restroom. They said "girls don't usually shoot themselves." At the one in Ohio, a girl hung herself. They said "girls don't usually hang themselves." Now, I'm a guy and it looks to me like you don't go on about how people should have killed themselves differently once they already suicided.
What's funny about suicide is that most of them don't even succeed.
I bet the text is real, but was sent as a joke.
Don't call suicide selfiish. Being born doesn't obligate you to anyone else. Sure, your family and friends will probably suffer with your death, but it isn't selfish to want some control over how and when you die.
With that said, hopefully anyone contemplating suicide can recall the things that make it worth holding onto life and enduring the pain.
lol. it would have been longer if you spelled worthless correctly the first time. \nbad night
oh yeah 1:08? if she really wanted to kill herself she would have jumped off a bridge or a tall building. and she didnt do it again (i assume) sooooooo....
2:18, I agree.
2:28 your dad was a different situation. He was sick and nothing could be done and you all knew. It is different when someone just decides to kill themself because they haven't been hugged enough and they think their life is shit.
stolen. thats selfish just like suicide
2:16, 4:27, yea, and also women tend to think of what will happen when people discover them, and women generally don't want to be found in a pool of blood or with rope marks so od-ing is clean and they can fall asleep peacefully and not look as horrid
I ABout pissed my pants
You spelled "your" wrong.
Suicide is selfish. Wow, chicks usually don't shoot themselves.
I thought it was funny, push the person a little more and maybe they will actually do it.
Stop having theological discussions on every post! It really gets annoying! And if you really are religious do you seriously think that this is the type of website that you should be viewing? It doesn't exactly seem like this website is going to help you in your relationship with Christ, just saying.
It's true that girls don't usually shoot themselves. Statistics show that girls are more likely to think of the people who will find them and the clean-up involved, so they slit their wrists in the tub, take pills, or hang themselves. Shooting yourself is messy, and guys (statistically) don't think that far ahead.
best tfln i've ever seen. hands down
that is absolutely horrible. i am deeply dissapointed in anyone who is laughing at this. i am a suicide survivor and have made a great life impact since my attempt. whether it was a fake note or not. this is cruel to laugh at.
2:45 I've been in that position. It's very selfish.
it's not selfish. you can't judge something like that unless you've been in that position.
Get a life. This text was in a Cyanide & Happiness cartoon a while back and in this setting its not even funny-its not a believable text. I dont mind if they're fake, but they can't be so obviously fake they're not funny.
Suicide is for emo freaks. Get a life.
How would any of you feel if you lost someone to suicide. Clearly most of you haven't so I don't think any of you are in the position to judge some one who chose to do this or the families left behind
This was stolen from Cyanide and Happiness
Suicide is the last resort of cowards that can't handle hardship in life. It doesn't take courage to do it, only a whiny baby that can't push on and treats their problems like they are the only person that has ever been there. Fuck them. They were worthless and now they are gone. That's a good thing for the rest of society.
wow this is almost like the onion article - where a suicide note was critiqued and spell-checked. FAKE
Suicide is weak, selfish, and pitiful.
And this text is shitting-pants funny.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and those of you that do joke about it, should seriously take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and recognize your own flaws. Yes, I agree this text Is fake, but what about the impressionable youth out there that reads this and starts seeing the responses that say suicide is okay? Think before you post thins.
and not a single fuck was given that day.
just added it to my favorite!
FAKE. See - Cyanide and Happiness.
Suicide is not funny. But this text is hysterical.
There is a God. Suicide is a sin. It may be a huge struggle but it doesn't matter who you are, there is someone out there who wants to help you.
hahahahahahaha 12:23 is fuckin BOSS STATUS!!. u made my day hah ur a champ