tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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