Have some text gold?

Comments

You must be Logged in to post a comment

  • lol i so wish i had the guts to say this to my loser ex boyfriend.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:47am
  • Hahaha hahaha yeah my gf has no problem gettin a release with me lol it's awesome cause sometimes she has to take breaks cause she's having them one after another lol I love it when that happens... It really makes ya feel like a man haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 3:32am
  • haha bleached hair? i thought we'd moved past the 90s, but i guess not...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:14am
  • Maybe he was a terrible lay. Maybe she was a dumb bitch. Whatever the problem, faking it hurts everyone. 1:35 - I've known some manwhores that were truly terrible in bed. One of the best fucks I've ever had, only slept with one other girl before me. Some guys just know what they're doing. Some girls just know how to get it. It's chemistry. It's art. It's fucking fantastic.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 10:48am
  • thats why people like you never find wives and catch herpes.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 5:43am
  • 526... Trust me baby. There's no hay on this stack. It's all filet mignon.<3

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 5:46am
  • To be honest. This Nate had a 8-9 inch penis. I was with the guy for a year and a half. Couldn't make me go ONCE. P.S. If he ever reads this... I FAKED IT! Sorry..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:28am
  • 107 IS A DOUCHE NOZZLE

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:24am
  • Learn to take care of your girls or I'll do it for you. I fucking hate dudes who have a girl who can get off just fine and won't put in the effort.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:53pm
  • umm 1:11 this wasn't your text in the first place

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:38pm
  • yeah dude ever since i got this new haricut

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:17am
  • Ah confidence. It can be such a turn on, but it can't get you off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:47am
  • People failed to understand the satire found in 1:07. Oh well, I got it. *thumbs up*

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:48am
  • sadly. when you fall in love you fall in love and theres nothing you can do about that part. Understand that.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:30am
  • Haha! Tell it how it is!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 18, 09 at 1:59am
  • @ 1248 god whats with nates and small dicks

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:20am
  • 4:06 - if he's not taking directions you should be more vocal that you know your body and that's what you like. he'll do it for you. if not, then you can find someone else. if you're a smart, attractive girl that won't be hard.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:17pm
  • 12:04 - glad you agree with me

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:06pm
  • AHHAHA! What the hell! thats too funny! And you'd think after 150 chicks he'd be dynamite good.. which he was. But, not THAT good apparently..... :P

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:35am
  • As bad as I feel for this girl for having a bad lay for a long-term boyfriend, I'm surprised nobody's mentioned how the WOMAN has to help her boy figure out exactly what gets her off the first few times. You faked it? Great! He thinks you get off with no effort on his part! You showed him what to do and he didn't do it? Great! He got to keep fucking you without having to put in the work for your turn. You totally deserved this.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:11am
  • Dude... Good for you! HELP ME! LOL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:53am
  • *10:48 here* If you want to bump up the volume, sexually.. TALK TO YOUR MAN. It doesn't have to be some serious emotional discourse.. There are sly ways of showing him what works, without bumming him out in the process. 4:25 is right. Play with yourself, talk dirty, get on top.. teaching him to be in tune with your pleasure will help him out in the long run.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 6:32pm
  • it's 4:31...this site is hilarious and i think i'm addicted. i agree this site can sometimes make you wanna hook up...which yes i want to cause it's been too long

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 6:47pm
  • isn't it fuking depressing! wasted my time on a guy who was not good, but got mad cause "i couldn't get off" just because i liked him. the truth is buddy YOU couldn't get me off. dear lord there should be a "how to have sex for dummies" book!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 9:45am
  • He has 100% success rate if he continued to sleep with you without you telling. him once [about how you've been faking it] till now. Who's the real loser sweetie? Obviously, not him. You're the idiotic slut. Go somewhere else wih your nonesense.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 7:24am
  • 8:55 is spot on. why should success have anything to do with how the girl feels?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 9:30am
  • Hahaha Texas is where it's at lol and thanks

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 3:47am
  • sooooo...if he sucked, why did she continue to fuck him? i'm having a hard time understanding who's the real loser here...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:15am
  • 1:11 pm Number 4- I am a dumb cunt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:56pm
  • and you know what? i bet the guy this chick is talking about is like 8 inches. guys with the big dicks can be SO cocky, but it's always all talk no game.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:08pm
  • No doubt guy! Geee... whats wrong with men in New Hampshire huh?! Seems too me like you know your shit!! :D I feel proud of you! HAH!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 3:40am
  • Saying, after the relationship is over, that you never came is childish. I bet that when you were in elementary school took your ball and went home when you didn't win every game. Boo hoo you dumb cunt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 6:09pm
  • wow..we have a relationship breakup and the woman says "guess what...you never made me cum" as if that's going to make us cry like a baby (or woman..). These bitches need new material. Wah, wah, wah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 8:10am
  • 12:14, i live in ny, anything i can help you with?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:20pm
  • I bet I still let him empty his load in your sodden cunt tho

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 21, 09 at 3:38am
  • i love how i answered a question and everyone is still bashing me for something I already answered. Number 1- He should have listened. Number 2- I am over him, I have been for years. Number 3- No 820, I did not lay there like a fuckin star fish. And yes, it is my fault I faked it. TOTALLY my fault. Now everyone fucking chill down.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:11pm
  • the fact that you faked it and put up with it is the real tragedy here. you should've figured this out a long time ago.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:26am
  • still got to nail you 100X evidently..im my world, we call that EPIC WIN

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:26am
  • 4:31 sounds like he didn't know what he was doing and left you unfulfilled. are you looking to change that?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:52pm
  • (2:55)- ROFL! yeah. i get it. i just dont understand. being female is a hard life. we make hold babies, and the g-spot is more hard to find for me than a needle in a hay stack. Ahhhhh, i just want fricken release! AHAHA!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 3:00am
  • So funny that girls think guys actually give a shit about getting them off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 4:15pm
  • Do you just lay there? Fucking an inanimate object is only fun the first few times. After that it gets old, and the guy is just using your body as a masturbation tool.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 8:20am
  • Hey he might not be good in bed but he had to be doing something right to get u in bed that many times

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 11:19am
  • thats bullshit, once i tell a bitch my name she creams her panties on the spot. let her touch my perfectly bleached and frosted hair, she creams again. by the time i get her back to my place and out of her clothes, she's usually in double digits. NOT NOW CHIEF IM IN THE FUCKIN ZONE!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:07am
  • You... faked it then? Well, then it's entirely your fault that you almost never got off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 5:52am
  • 1:28 OMG i had the same situation with my nate, but we dated for 9 months. 864 bitches. let him know.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:53am
  • i really want to hook up after reading all of this, call me crazy but i do

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:53pm
  • 4:31 - 4:19 here. i also agree with 4:25. when the last girl i was with would start getting close she'd get on top because she knew that position allowed her the greatest pleasure. we could be in synch and finish one after the other. help yourself by helping your man, you'll enjoy it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:51pm
  • You are nothing more to him than a warm Fleshlight.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 9:46am
  • 2:53 it's really not that hard you just gotta work on the self control if you know what I mean lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:55am
  • Everything is bigger in Texas.... And that ain't a myth that's truth lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:20am
  • I'm personally hoping 1:07 is performance art. It's better then him actually being a real douche.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:27am
  • if he wasn't getting you off why didn't you tell help him along? this is dumb, you didn't help yourself and instead just kept on fucking him even though it sounds like you didn't enjoy it that much. grow up and be a big girl. sex isn't just about having a guy bone you and hoping he makes you cum

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 11:39am
  • Texas!? haha i heard everything is bigger there.... AHHA!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:06am
  • 127 YOU'RE AN ASSHAT

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:30am
  • See I just had sex with my girlfriend and I just gave her 3 O faces to my one :) yeah never thought it could be so fun in a car

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:50am
  • YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT MOVING ON! Why go back for more?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 10:32am
  • 3.00 Maybe if there was less hay in the stack things would be easier to find! But seriously making girls get off isn't the rocket science people make it out to be

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 5:26am
  • somebody needs to tighten up down there

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:08am
  • FUCKIN YAGER BOMBS!!! Get pussy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:49am
  • 1:24 needs to get a sense of humor and 1:07 is my hero

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:27am
  • Amazing how during the relationship they say they've never climaxed with anyone else, but afterwards it's that they didn't with you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 5:13pm
  • 11:58 = she has to know what gets her off

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:14pm
  • Sounds like my earth scum ex-boyfriend Nathaniel. HAHA!! (603)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:48am
  • Been there....seems like that happens way too often.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 18, 09 at 12:40am
  • i agree with ya 4:17. i guess the last guy i was with was pretty sad in bed and that's prob a big reason we are no longer together. i agree with 4:19 and 4:25, if the girl is not doing anything about it then who's the real problem???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:31pm
  • sounds like the OP has some anger management issues. Real men D O N ' T C A R E if you get the big O or not. If you don't have the eggs to talk to your man when it's happening, don't pull out the tissue after it's over and try to hurt our feelings. We had a good time -- all that matters!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 8:13am
  • the guy from the text had like an 8 inch penis too but he couldn't get the job done!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:31am
  • Maybe if you tell him what works for you, it might be just a bit more to your high standards there. I'm saying get graphic and talk like a porn star. Tell him to speed up or slolw down, or harder or softer...stuff like that. If you didn't get off, it's just as much your fault as his.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 8:18am
  • 11:39 if sex isn't about someone trying to bone you and get you to cum please tell me what it's about? and 10:53...fire fighters?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 11:58am
  • Oh please. Get over yourself. Way to stick it to him. Way to show him. Haha! You're such a loser. He repeatedly had sex with you. He came everytime. You faked it everytime. He got off. You didn't. His success rate is definately a hell of a lot more than 1%.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 8:55am
  • I'm so paranoid that one day I'll get a text like this.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 11:41am
  • lols at 1:07, best reply I've read in a while

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 1:16am
  • This sounds like my last relationship.....LMFAO, go Pittsburgh Fire Fighters

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 10:53am
  • quality over quantity.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 9:37am
  • ladies ladies ladies... it's not that we CANT get you off... it's that we don't give a shit. just looking out for numero uno.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 5:28am
  • Eh. hes nice looking but he fucks everything he can. He'd prob fuck you too to be honest. It's sadly all about him because I clearly pointed out what to do. Some men are just into themselves to much to understand what someone asks for or wants. Mind you, i've only gotten off with someone prior to that and I DID THE WORK. And really thank you for supporting his crawling STD ass. I'm routing for you both! And it looks like I am going to Texas.<3 AHA!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 5:10am
  • wow, i'm in the same situation

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 22, 09 at 1:59am
  • I totally agree with 11:39am!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:04pm
  • 10:48 - i was like that with my second girl. she was older and told me i would be a great lover in a few years (still was good then). it was so much hotter to hear you tell me how to improve on oral than to just assume since i can find her clit and g-spot that i'm a pro

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:19pm
  • 11:33 sounds awesome! where do you live hot stuff?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:14pm
  • i feel for this girl. some guys just don't listen. but shouldn't have faked it. i don't give the guy fake satisfaction of not getting me off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 4:06pm
  • fuck you unknown error.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 6:28pm
  • 10:48 - i think i may be like that since the second girl i slept with was older and told me i'm on my way to being a great lover. was so much more fun with her saying what she liked and what worked for her instead of just expecting me to know what made her go crazy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 11:33am
  • Methinks 1 out of 3 seems closer to 33% than 1%.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 2:00am