Texts From Last Night · heyychitown's Favorites

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heyychitown's Favorites Texts:

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(703): View more from Virginia

The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."

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(740): View more from Ohio

I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake

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(925): View more from California

Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??

(1-925): View more from California

Yes. Yes it is.

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(714): View more from California

He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.

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(818): View more from California

he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror

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(206): View more from Washington

He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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