I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
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You might want to double check your ass too. A night that crazy wouldn't have settled for just 2 out of 3.
There may be a tiger in te bathroom...
is being a whore like cool now?
it's a website about drunk texts. like what did you expect? fml sounds more like a website for your negativity.
Just wait for the pictures...
Best TFLN I've seen in a while
"Dick mouth." Common phrase? I learned something new...
you made out better than the bride in the other text from today....
No necessarily the bride
i feel sorry for the upcoming generations
Because waking up with a dick in your mouth is a normal, if not dull, day in your life, huh?
And a case of herpes?
Hell yes! That's how it's done!!!
eskoelle; it's a website about drunk texts. like what did you expect? fml sounds more like a website for your negativity.
Oh babayyyy! xD
sounds like a Phelps-less protest
no anal.. no tiger in the bathroom.. and i just realized i still have your panties hun lol
When the baby due?
my question is are you the brides made or the bride haha
KSU student for sure
Wow you crazy bit that's how it's done
Its how stupid people text.
Sounds like symptoms for something on the plan b side... take two of em and call me in the morning.
one of the best.
I've heard of wine mouth but dick mouth?
Uallsuck - it's for emphasis.
Bad bad gal....
"Sprinkle a little yest on'em Johnson and let's get the fuk outta here!"
i don't care what ricky bobby has to say; in these instances, if you are "first," you are definitely last.