you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Send us your Text From Last Night!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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