he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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9:37 just beacuse ur blacked out drunk doesn't mean u can't walk... Put ur big boy pants on and really get wasted one night before u post something like that
8:13 is hilarious. I'm definitely stealing that.
708 is river forest and oak park
whoever did this amazing feat is an epic human being. i wish to meet them.
12:53 i legitimately thank you for that, i've been wondering at what point you're actually supposed to black out at
Chicago is the best city in the world for this reason
If I had a nickle..
A bonged 5th of Jack would rather quickly kill someone. This is not up for debate.
was he walking funny -- like his asshole hurt?
@ 8:59: actually, it's possible depending on his size. a BAC of .3 is when you black out, .4 is when you pass out, and .5 is when you die.
learned it in my MIP class 3 years ago...3 months before my 21st...so i was legitmately interested in half the stuff he said.
Aww, really? Too bad, you did such a fine job counting all the way to ten...
Do you have 10 you can give me?
you pass out before .4 .. had to take that fucking stupid alcohol edu class online for college.. either way this is impossible. you would die from bonging a 1/5 of jack
wait a second, holy shit, they're from my area code. now i MUST meet them.
Little boy blew. He needed the money! Oooohhh!
Well, that depends. If you like it when it hurts, I can fuck you twice and hit you in the head with a brick.
hey around were I live. mist likely riverside, north riverside, brookfield area
You wanna know how I got these scars?
A friend of mine used to do something called "the bottle of rum trick" where he would pound a whole fifth. Pretty amazing but he did it more than once. Big fella, 250 lb or so. So, totally possible. Respect for the hat, too.
ohhh how i miss chicago... crazy shit goes on there craaazy shit
You are hilarious 8:13. I'm definitely using that because I have a small penis too.
708 is a majority of the southside to it's not just 2 towns...
You like 10 inches? Do you like it when it hurts?
I'm from Canada and I don't know how much a 5th is! Is it 1/5 of a gallon? As in a 26 ouncer? You crazy Americans and your non metric system!
Either way, this text is hilarious, regardless of how much this guy actually drank.
it can be done. ive seen people bong liquor before. and really really good amounts of it. maybe not a whole fifth, but i believe it
Tried that a couple times in River Forest and just wound up at the Goss
I like 10 . Like 10 inches of cock in my pretty vajayjay
Maybe he was really large and ate a lot before this feat. Either way he had a fireman's helmet, you gotta give him props for that.
correction: if he bonged it (i didn't read that part cloesly enough), it was quite possible he could've died. drinking speed obviously has a lot to do with BAC.
8:13 is only funny if he's Andrew dice clay because that's who he stole that joke from
Well, keep at it and never give up. I see great things in your future.
11:24, why is it most likely those parts? much more 708 than those 3 shit towns
Best story ever. I love this type of story!
I USED TO LIVE IN ROFO!!!!
Ok this is physically impossible, he would have died. and knowing the douche bags from 708 (probably westchester) they would brag about something retarded like this.
First, bonging 750 ml of jack might not be survivable, but let's say it is. Second, the feat of stealing a fireman's helmet is extremely hard to manage if you're sober, but let's just say he did it. What really amazes me is how he came home while blacked out? Did he walk while he was unconscious?
Yeah 9:05! At least there's one other person over the age of 25 looking at this site! Way to call me out! Still a great, funny piece of standup.
11/4/09 5:50 . . . Hilarious!
No, 708 is rofo. Straight up. ROFO THAT MOFO!!!
Oh I get it! It's funny because somehow while he was very intoxicated he managed to somehow procure an authentic fireman's helmet without getting into trouble!