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  • 708 is river forest and oak park

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 18, 09 at 1:22pm
  • whoever did this amazing feat is an epic human being. i wish to meet them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:15am
  • 9:37 just beacuse ur blacked out drunk doesn't mean u can't walk... Put ur big boy pants on and really get wasted one night before u post something like that

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 8, 10 at 8:24pm
  • 8:13 is hilarious. I'm definitely stealing that.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:50am
  • 12:53 i legitimately thank you for that, i've been wondering at what point you're actually supposed to black out at

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:46pm
  • Chicago is the best city in the world for this reason

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 2:36pm
  • If I had a nickle.. -Bradon

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 6:24pm
  • A bonged 5th of Jack would rather quickly kill someone. This is not up for debate.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 10:09am
  • was he walking funny -- like his asshole hurt?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:17am
  • Aww, really? Too bad, you did such a fine job counting all the way to ten...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:06am
  • @ 8:59: actually, it's possible depending on his size. a BAC of .3 is when you black out, .4 is when you pass out, and .5 is when you die. learned it in my MIP class 3 years ago...3 months before my 21st...so i was legitmately interested in half the stuff he said.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:53pm
  • Do you have 10 you can give me?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:12am
  • you pass out before .4 .. had to take that fucking stupid alcohol edu class online for college.. either way this is impossible. you would die from bonging a 1/5 of jack

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:30pm
  • Little boy blew. He needed the money! Oooohhh!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 9:47am
  • wait a second, holy shit, they're from my area code. now i MUST meet them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:16am
  • Well, that depends. If you like it when it hurts, I can fuck you twice and hit you in the head with a brick.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:13am
  • You are hilarious 8:13. I'm definitely using that because I have a small penis too.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:52am
  • A friend of mine used to do something called "the bottle of rum trick" where he would pound a whole fifth. Pretty amazing but he did it more than once. Big fella, 250 lb or so. So, totally possible. Respect for the hat, too.

    Submitted by tugbrowski on Mar 8, 11 at 1:54am
  • hey around were I live. mist likely riverside, north riverside, brookfield area

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:24pm
  • ohhh how i miss chicago... crazy shit goes on there craaazy shit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 4:49pm
  • You wanna know how I got these scars? -Joker

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 10:07am
  • 708 is a majority of the southside to it's not just 2 towns...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 18, 10 at 8:20pm
  • You like 10 inches? Do you like it when it hurts?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:11am
  • it can be done. ive seen people bong liquor before. and really really good amounts of it. maybe not a whole fifth, but i believe it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:48am
  • I'm from Canada and I don't know how much a 5th is! Is it 1/5 of a gallon? As in a 26 ouncer? You crazy Americans and your non metric system! Either way, this text is hilarious, regardless of how much this guy actually drank.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:07am
  • Tried that a couple times in River Forest and just wound up at the Goss

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 11:51pm
  • Maybe he was really large and ate a lot before this feat. Either way he had a fireman's helmet, you gotta give him props for that.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 1:13pm
  • I like 10 . Like 10 inches of cock in my pretty vajayjay

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:10am
  • correction: if he bonged it (i didn't read that part cloesly enough), it was quite possible he could've died. drinking speed obviously has a lot to do with BAC.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:55pm
  • 8:13 is only funny if he's Andrew dice clay because that's who he stole that joke from

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 9:05am
  • Well, keep at it and never give up. I see great things in your future.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:10am
  • 11:24, why is it most likely those parts? much more 708 than those 3 shit towns

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:24pm
  • Best story ever. I love this type of story!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:57pm
  • I USED TO LIVE IN ROFO!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 12:20am
  • First, bonging 750 ml of jack might not be survivable, but let's say it is. Second, the feat of stealing a fireman's helmet is extremely hard to manage if you're sober, but let's just say he did it. What really amazes me is how he came home while blacked out? Did he walk while he was unconscious?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 16, 09 at 9:37am
  • Ok this is physically impossible, he would have died. and knowing the douche bags from 708 (probably westchester) they would brag about something retarded like this.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:59am
  • 11/4/09 5:50 . . . Hilarious!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 8:21pm
  • Yeah 9:05! At least there's one other person over the age of 25 looking at this site! Way to call me out! Still a great, funny piece of standup.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 9:12am
  • No, 708 is rofo. Straight up. ROFO THAT MOFO!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 17, 10 at 11:04pm
  • Oh I get it! It's funny because somehow while he was very intoxicated he managed to somehow procure an authentic fireman's helmet without getting into trouble! -Jeff

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:50pm