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  • 55 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:15am

    whoever did this amazing feat is an epic human being. i wish to meet them.

  • 53 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 18, 09 at 1:22pm

    708 is river forest and oak park

  • 48 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:06am

    Aww, really? Too bad, you did such a fine job counting all the way to ten...

  • 47 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 6:24pm

    If I had a nickle.. -Bradon

  • 47 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 2:36pm

    Chicago is the best city in the world for this reason

  • 53 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:13am

    Well, that depends. If you like it when it hurts, I can fuck you twice and hit you in the head with a brick.

  • 45 51
    Submitted by tugbrowski on Mar 8, 11 at 1:54am

    A friend of mine used to do something called "the bottle of rum trick" where he would pound a whole fifth. Pretty amazing but he did it more than once. Big fella, 250 lb or so. So, totally possible. Respect for the hat, too.

  • 45 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:46pm

    12:53 i legitimately thank you for that, i've been wondering at what point you're actually supposed to black out at

  • 47 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 10:09am

    A bonged 5th of Jack would rather quickly kill someone. This is not up for debate.

  • 47 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:30pm

    you pass out before .4 .. had to take that fucking stupid alcohol edu class online for college.. either way this is impossible. you would die from bonging a 1/5 of jack

  • 45 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 10:07am

    You wanna know how I got these scars? -Joker

  • 52 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:48am

    it can be done. ive seen people bong liquor before. and really really good amounts of it. maybe not a whole fifth, but i believe it

  • 38 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:50am

    8:13 is hilarious. I'm definitely stealing that.

  • 39 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:16am

    wait a second, holy shit, they're from my area code. now i MUST meet them.

  • 45 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:12am

    Do you have 10 you can give me?

  • 45 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 8, 10 at 8:24pm

    9:37 just beacuse ur blacked out drunk doesn't mean u can't walk... Put ur big boy pants on and really get wasted one night before u post something like that

  • 45 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:24pm

    hey around were I live. mist likely riverside, north riverside, brookfield area

  • 41 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 1:13pm

    Maybe he was really large and ate a lot before this feat. Either way he had a fireman's helmet, you gotta give him props for that.

  • 44 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:17am

    was he walking funny -- like his asshole hurt?

  • 49 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:07am

    I'm from Canada and I don't know how much a 5th is! Is it 1/5 of a gallon? As in a 26 ouncer? You crazy Americans and your non metric system! Either way, this text is hilarious, regardless of how much this guy actually drank.

  • 43 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 9:47am

    Little boy blew. He needed the money! Oooohhh!

  • 42 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 4:49pm

    ohhh how i miss chicago... crazy shit goes on there craaazy shit

  • 42 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 9:05am

    8:13 is only funny if he's Andrew dice clay because that's who he stole that joke from

  • 40 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:11am

    You like 10 inches? Do you like it when it hurts?

  • 46 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:55pm

    correction: if he bonged it (i didn't read that part cloesly enough), it was quite possible he could've died. drinking speed obviously has a lot to do with BAC.

  • 34 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:53pm

    @ 8:59: actually, it's possible depending on his size. a BAC of .3 is when you black out, .4 is when you pass out, and .5 is when you die. learned it in my MIP class 3 years ago...3 months before my 21st...so i was legitmately interested in half the stuff he said.

  • 41 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 12:20am

    I USED TO LIVE IN ROFO!!!!

  • 50 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 11:51pm

    Tried that a couple times in River Forest and just wound up at the Goss

  • 39 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:24pm

    11:24, why is it most likely those parts? much more 708 than those 3 shit towns

  • 40 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:57pm

    Best story ever. I love this type of story!

  • 32 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:10am

    Well, keep at it and never give up. I see great things in your future.

  • 37 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:52am

    You are hilarious 8:13. I'm definitely using that because I have a small penis too.

  • 46 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:10am

    I like 10 . Like 10 inches of cock in my pretty vajayjay

  • 37 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 18, 10 at 8:20pm

    708 is a majority of the southside to it's not just 2 towns...

  • 39 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 8:21pm

    11/4/09 5:50 . . . Hilarious!

  • 31 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 16, 09 at 9:37am

    First, bonging 750 ml of jack might not be survivable, but let's say it is. Second, the feat of stealing a fireman's helmet is extremely hard to manage if you're sober, but let's just say he did it. What really amazes me is how he came home while blacked out? Did he walk while he was unconscious?

  • 38 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 8:59am

    Ok this is physically impossible, he would have died. and knowing the douche bags from 708 (probably westchester) they would brag about something retarded like this.

  • 37 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 9:12am

    Yeah 9:05! At least there's one other person over the age of 25 looking at this site! Way to call me out! Still a great, funny piece of standup.

  • 27 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 17, 10 at 11:04pm

    No, 708 is rofo. Straight up. ROFO THAT MOFO!!!

  • 34 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:50pm

    Oh I get it! It's funny because somehow while he was very intoxicated he managed to somehow procure an authentic fireman's helmet without getting into trouble! -Jeff