He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Actions speak louder than pants.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
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