Texts From Last Night · pauliekeyboard's Favorites

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pauliekeyboard's Favorites Texts:

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(229): View more from Georgia

I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.

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(518): View more from New York

I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer

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(859): View more from Kentucky

You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(971): View more from Oregon

He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for

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(502): View more from Kentucky

It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.

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(760): View more from California

Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.

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