you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
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Oh, who doesn't love Steven Wright?
I stayed up until dawn playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
I dated a girl whose eyes were too close together. They looked like the headlights of a Jeep. I called her AC.... Almost cyclops.
these are always the good nights
This is from a Steven Wright standup (the guy on the couch)
She wrote me this beautiful letter telling me how much she cared about me. I liked it so much I crossed off her name on the bottom, write mine and sent it back to her. I never heard from her again... I guess she didn't like what she wrote
Only in Cleveland