her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
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