Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
from now on my penis is your penis
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
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